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Unreasonable to ask my friend to do all the driving?

(125 Posts)
PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 14:28:05

I'm pretty sure I am unreasonable! But getting rather stressed about this.. My friend and I are going on holiday to Cornwall in the early autumn, getting the train down and then hiring a car. I'm afraid I get very worried/scared of driving in unfamiliar places, and am especially anxious about the narrow busy roads down there that I seem to have read about. I'm in Scotland and do drive up here, including in Edinburgh which is no picnic, but I'd love to just not have to worry about it on holiday sad Would it be completely unreasonable for me to ask my friend to drive if I cover car hire costs or something?
I think she's a fairly confident driver, though she is without a car at the moment.

Feellikearightungreatfulcow Mon 08-Aug-16 14:35:48

Ask her

I'd gladly do all the driving if someone else paid for the car

Tbh it's normally me that drives anyway, me and sis split car hire costs on hols - perhaps I should get her to pay the full cost instead ☺

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 14:37:45

Haha, perhaps I'm being too generous grin

pasturesgreen Mon 08-Aug-16 14:39:16

Definitely ask her!

I wouldn't mind, might even be safer if you aren't a very confident driver.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine Mon 08-Aug-16 14:43:51

I'd ask too, I'd be more than happy to pay for the car and petrol than drive in an area I don't know.

Tourist places tend to have very good public transport though so you could both not drive and still get around.

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 14:44:14

This is reassuring

NickNacks Mon 08-Aug-16 14:45:40

I much prefer to drive than be a passenger so we'd be a perfect match!

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 14:45:54

Dragons I think it's pretty handy to have a car in Cornwall, so I've heard/read anyway.

Pootles2010 Mon 08-Aug-16 14:46:28

Ask her! Are you off to North or South Cornwall? I found North Cornwall was ok, its south cornwall with all the crazy narrow lanes.

You might be ok once you get there. But yes, if you pay for something extra like car hire, I bet she'd be ok.

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 14:47:42

Pootles South!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Mon 08-Aug-16 14:48:46

While she might not mind, I do think you ought to take the opportunity to push yourself out of your comfort zone and give it a try. Maybe once you've been there a few days and got to know the roads around where you are staying? It would do your confidence good for future situations when you might be on your own.

Lucked Mon 08-Aug-16 14:50:03

The only thing would be if you ate out lot in evenings requiring a drive home. If I was on holiday I would want the odd glass of wine of an evening.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 08-Aug-16 14:51:39

The narrow lanes are scary. Another here who would much rather drive. Ask her. I did 90% of the driving recently in Italy although two other people were insured. I just enjoy it more.

MrsNuckyThompson Mon 08-Aug-16 14:51:55

I think I'd just bring it up, but don't think you should necessarily offer to cover all the costs.

As a PP has said, though, you should give it a go if you feel able to just for the experience and to assure yourself you CAN do it (which of course you can).

HugItOut Mon 08-Aug-16 14:53:57

I don't mind driving and I don't drink. You could pay a bit extra for petrol as a thank you.

TwoFs Mon 08-Aug-16 14:58:13

I did something thing similar with a friend when we traveled together. She's a much more confident driver than I am and she prefers driving to being a passenger so it worked for us. Although I didn't cover costs - we were self catering so I did all the cooking/clearing up. I got to relax in the car, she got to relax at home. It was perfect smile

Pootles2010 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:01:36

Ah! well in that case you're buggered grin

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 15:02:47

Pootles grin

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 15:03:43

I just don't want her to see me as a helpless wee thing, needing to be chauffeured :/

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 08-Aug-16 15:03:56

I'd be happy to do all the driving and often have. It's even worse when BOTH of you want to drive - we had a day on day off approach, bith trying to get the 'long distance' days 😁

No need to pay more or whatever though, that's madness. You're friends, you just 'do stuff' for friends when they're uncomfortable dong it themselves.

tigermoll Mon 08-Aug-16 15:05:48

It really depends on so many factors -- how confident a driver your friend is herself, what your plans are, whether this means her staying sober every single night, what responsibilities you will take over instead of driving, etc. You have to discuss it in advance with her though, rather than just presenting her with a fait accompli when your holiday starts.

Although you have to accept that she may NOT be happy to do all the driving, and decide what your plan would be if that were the case.

FWIW, (and not meaning to sound harsh) if I was on holiday with someone who regularly drove at home, but who expected me to do ALL the driving in a place we were both unfamiliar with because they were 'nervous' and just 'didn't want to have to worry about it', I would probably think 'buck up, sissypants'. It's her holiday too.

JackieJormpJormp Mon 08-Aug-16 15:05:49

Hmm, I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should offer to drive for at least some of the time. Or at least offer to pay for a taxi in the evenings when you're going out to dinner, so your friend can have a drink.

Personally I'd be pretty resentful if I went on holiday with somebody and had to do all of the driving - after all, even for a confident driver, driving takes a lot of concentration and means you can't enjoy the scenery as much!

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 08-Aug-16 15:06:15

LOL well, you are acting like a hapless wee thing that needs chauffeuring 😁

So, what you really want is some ruse to make it look like you are giving her the fantastic opportunity to drive all the time... Let me think on that...

Rainbowunicorn73 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:08:08

Definitely ask, I'd be fine with it as I get car sick unless driving. However, you can't insist that she does it. Be prepared to take a refusal graciously and discuss other options. She might be fine with driving but she might be as anxious and nervous as you. So all you can do is ask.

PrivatePike Mon 08-Aug-16 15:08:57

Noo, I don't want a ruse! No ruse

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