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To not let my 9 yo hold my newborn? :(.

(40 Posts)
freakedoutlady Mon 08-Aug-16 11:30:50

Gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the early hours of Saturday. My poor 9 year old has a coldsore. Googled it and read that they can be fatal for newborns. Everything is going so well apart from this. Waiting for first miswife visit but if anyone can give me some advice or experience of this? DD is being really understanding about it and baby is buying her a present. She's sitting with allot and is happy. Have zovirex to get rid. So very worried abd feeling bad for her though.

MaudeandHarold Mon 08-Aug-16 11:36:55

Ring the ward or midwife service, and ask for advice? Surely you have a telephone number for such instances. If you cover the sore and get 9 yo to scrub hands etc, a small cuddle might be OK....but I'm not a doctor....congratulations btw!

BoopTheSnoot Mon 08-Aug-16 11:38:04

I totally understand your concerns and I think you're right to be cautious. I would call the maternity unit for advice

carefreeeee Mon 08-Aug-16 11:42:31

I think they can be spread only through quite direct contact. So if she washes her hands and refrains from kissing the baby it should be ok?

davos Mon 08-Aug-16 11:42:44

Dh has cold sores and never stopped him holding the baby.

If he had one he washed his hands right up to his elbows. And didn't kiss them.

TheScottishPlay Mon 08-Aug-16 11:45:38

When DS was in SCBU Sil came to visit and was asked to leave due to having a cold sore.
I agree with pp, ring the midwife for advice.

freakedoutlady Mon 08-Aug-16 11:53:27

Just rang and she just said be careful with hygiene. I wonder how common this is? It's 'milk day' today and making it seem a bit scarier.

helenatroy Mon 08-Aug-16 11:54:57

Err on the side of caution. Promise her when it's gone a nice day out for all of you with much hugging. Was talking to a Greek doctor recently who had some very strong views on the dangers of cold sores on both unborn and new born babies.

ayeokthen Mon 08-Aug-16 12:01:10

My dsd had a cold sore when our DD was born. I freaked out and called NHS 24 and they advised separating them completely, so DP and the girls went to stay with BIL. I already had major anxiety because DS1 had caught gastroenteritis and then septicaemia when he was teeny tiny, so I was a paranoid mess anyway.

MrsFrankRicard Mon 08-Aug-16 12:01:19

Yanbu, just don't risk it, she can cuddle baby as soon as the coldsore is gone. And congratulations flowers

I wouldn't let DD hold the baby as hard as that is. Wait till its gone. It may seem excessive but it can be really dangerous. Your DD may get a little carried away and not realise the harm with a kiss.
Must be horrible for you all

jb007 Mon 08-Aug-16 12:15:50

If you have had cold sores yourself the danger is less. Hygiene is very important always but if you have never had a coldsore yourself don't let dd hold the baby.

SatsukiKusakabe Mon 08-Aug-16 12:15:50

I know it seems hard right now, especially everything seems huge in the first few days, but it will soon be gone and your dds have a lifetime together, this is nothing at all in terms of their relationship.

Your daughter sounds lovely, keep doing what you are doing to reassure and I hope her breakout passes soon. Congratulations flowers

SatsukiKusakabe Mon 08-Aug-16 12:16:22

*your dd and ds

PurpleAquilegia Mon 08-Aug-16 12:18:16

Neonatal herpes is very dangerous for newborns, yes.

It's a lot of responsibility to place on your 9 year old to remember when holding him not to nuzzle or kiss the baby, not to brush her hand against her face/scratch her face or anything that could transfer the virus. Either watch her like a hawk when she's holding him, or just hold off a few days on her touching him until it's healed. It's awful to have to make her feel 'unclean' and not be able to hold him yet, but I think safety needs to be paramount for the baby. It is a very serious disease for neonates and not worth taking the risk.

hairycatmum Mon 08-Aug-16 12:25:11

How mature is your 9 year old? If she's grown-up enough to explain the risks to, and mature enough to follow instructions about not touching the baby without washing her hands very carefully and not kissing him, then she could hold him under supervision. But its a lot for her to take on, I'm sure she's really excited about her new baby brother. Once the cold sore has crusted over it shouldn't be infective any more-the virus is in the fluid oozing from it-but for safety's sake I'd wait until it was healed completely until she gives him a kiss.

ElornaElephant Mon 08-Aug-16 12:27:55

Oh bless her flowers - I would err on the side of caution, just to be safe. At 9, if you explain it to her she will understand - she sounds so sweet sitting with him. It will be gone soon as she can cuddle to her hearts content. Congratulations to you all!

noramum Mon 08-Aug-16 12:32:56

DD had a cold sore last Christmas and we met with friends who had a 6 month old baby then. We got DD these plasters:

In the end DD didn't play with the baby but I would use the plaster anyway as it helps getting the virus on her hands generally and it doesn't spread.

eleanorofaquitaine Mon 08-Aug-16 12:33:47

Congratulations! Yes, I have direct experience of this and when I asked for advice from midwives etc they were surprisingly ignorant of the potential risks to the newborn. Can you ask someone to get your daughter Herpatch liquid which seals the cold sore blisters so they are under a protective barrier? The Compeed cold sore patches will also help to do the job. As your daughter has probably had them a few times in her life already I expect you are all well-drilled in hygienic practices. Best wishes to you all.

diddl Mon 08-Aug-16 12:35:40

I wouldn't risk it tbh.

Surely she could easily touch the cold sore & then the baby accidentally?

SirVixofVixHall Mon 08-Aug-16 12:40:10

I would also stress to your dd the importance of not touching the sore at all, and do what you would do with any other nasty virus e.g disinfect door handles regularly and other areas that everyone touches, and wash hands v frequently, and esp before handing the baby.
And congratulations!

Benedikte2 Mon 08-Aug-16 13:00:08

Even whe the cold sore appears to have gone make it a family rule not to kiss on the mouth or round the eyes as a common sense way to prevent the spread of the virus round the family and esp to baby.
I once lost a contact lens which was found by XH who happened to have a cold sore. Despite my washing the lens appropriately (hard so not sterilised) I developed a corneal herpes ulcer. Very painful but treatable (hadn't ever had a cold sore until then) but probably would have caused blindness or worse in a newborn.
It's a shame for DD but will make the first cuddle all that more special. She sounds a delightful and sensible wee girl -- well done Mum!
Good luck to you all

NatureCreatesFreaks Mon 08-Aug-16 13:04:36

What happens if the mother has a cold sore? Surely, like some examples given, you can't seperate baby and mother?

PurpleAquilegia Mon 08-Aug-16 13:21:13

Nature an adult, and especially a parent, is more capable of remembering hygiene rules and not to touch their face at all - it is much bigger ask of a 9 year old. I constantly touch my face/ lips without realising. It's too serious a disease to take a risk with for the sake of a few days/a week or so.

Horispondle Mon 08-Aug-16 13:34:48

Agree with Noramum get the compeed cold sore patches!!!
They completely cover the cold sore so you don't have to worry about spreading. I'd recommend to anyone if they had a newborn or not!
I had several cold sores when I gave birth, obviously I couldn't limit my contact with my newborn but since I had the patches on it I felf happy I wasn't going to pass anything on.
I can't stress enough how good these patches are!

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