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To think that they should shut the fuck up

(391 Posts)
KatMcGee Sun 07-Aug-16 20:03:22

I don't like DH's family.

They don't like me.

We've been together for 5 years, married for 2, we live in London whilst DH's family thankfully live way up north.

I'm not the easiest person to deal with but I'm not horrid, I keep to myself, I don't really do nature or cooking or anything that takes me away from a mobile signal

DH has a massive family and every summer they all meet up at his parents property, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins which is in the middle of nowhere.

I did this once 4 years ago and I hated every bloody second of it, they go hiking at dawn, they have family sports days, which is just grown men kicking a ball around whilst the women cheer from the sidelines , tend to kids etc hmm

I've managed to avoid it ever since but this year DH wouldn't relent and he managed to talk me into it.

It's day 2 and I'm ready to head home. It seems that all of DH's excuses over the years weren't believed and I've been assigned the role of the evil daughter in law.

Everyone keeps giving me snide comments.

They were up at dawn for their fucking hike yesterday and I crawled out of bed to join in and not be a spoilsport and I was bombarded with snide comments

SIL: "Oh dear, if you can't keep up, you shouldn't have come along"

A random aunt: "those boots look brand new, I hope you're not throwing DH's money away" I work, I earn more than DH, I don't hike, so I had to buy boots and when I told this to random aunt, she looked at MIL and said "you were right about her"

Yesterday afternoon when all the woman were cooking in the kitchen, I was in the bedroom as I can't cook but another SIL called me down and so I went down.

"Oh why'd you bring her down" said very fucking loudly by MIL "I mean she won't be much help, girl can't even cook"

I ignored her, went on my phone as they were going on about little Barnaby (not his real name) teething and not coping well with all the noise/people.

I sat their thinking, why bring a teething toddler to this mad house but kept my mouth shut.

BIL walks through the door, joins in the Barnaby talk, looks at me and says "you'll be dealing with all this soon" I pulled a face, it was a natural reaction, lasted only for a second

MIL pipes up "Oh didn't you know, Madam over there doesn't want children, she's too busy with her career" it was said with a smile but with so much fucking venom.

I smiled and said "DH, can't stand the little brats either" then bombarded DH with texts. He walked in five minutes later and I've refused to let him leave my side.

He didn't go out to the lake with all the boys this morning and sat right next to me throughout this afternoons barbecue. This has only led to more comments, if I hear one more snide remark I'm going to tell them to shut the fuck up and then leave.

I won't survive till Friday, I'm thinking of faking ill tonight and leaving in the morning but DH refuses to play along.

Queenbean Sun 07-Aug-16 20:05:03

They sound like a nightmare but you sound really difficult

However, as always on MN, you don't have a husband's family problem, you have a husband problem

Frrraaann Sun 07-Aug-16 20:05:51

No, flee! Sounds horrific. All the women cooking in the kitchen, urgh!

DoreenLethal Sun 07-Aug-16 20:05:54

Have you a car available? I love nature but after those comments I'd be whizzing my way down the M1/6/on a train/bus heading home.

Don't waste 4 more days on this shower of shite.

Fibonaccied Sun 07-Aug-16 20:07:02

They don't sound great but tbh you sound awful!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Sun 07-Aug-16 20:07:55

Sounds like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other to me.

DerekSprechenZeDick Sun 07-Aug-16 20:08:09

You all sound as bad as each other tbh

But please stay and keep this thread updated, it's quite an enjoyable read grin

TheWitTank Sun 07-Aug-16 20:08:24

Just leave. Life is too short for that shit.

MaudGonneMad Sun 07-Aug-16 20:08:45

It sounds like both sides have the measure of each other.

CinderellaFant Sun 07-Aug-16 20:08:56

If you aren't happy there, leave. No need to make an excuse- they already know you don't like them.

Feckerlino Sun 07-Aug-16 20:09:11

Wow, you sound like a delight! It's once a year - suck it up. Here's my first biscuit

Petal40 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:09:14

Omg poor you....why does yr husband allow them to disrespect you like that...hiddiously horrid people...leave asap

PatMustardsBigTool Sun 07-Aug-16 20:09:22

They sound really rude but you sound quite uptight.

Amelie10 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:10:32

Both of you lot sound exactly like each other.

SomedayBaby Sun 07-Aug-16 20:10:39

They sound like a nightmare but you sound really difficult


I mean yeah, bits sound annoying...but really, is it so difficult to put your mobile down for a couple of days, smile and join in?

Your MIL made a snide dig...just her. You then came out with I smiled and said "DH, can't stand the little brats either". And probably made every other parent in the room at that time think you're a cunt. You're doing yourself no favours.

Happyinthehazeofadrunkenhour Sun 07-Aug-16 20:10:43

When I first started reading I thought it all sounded great and thought you were prob just a miserable cow but on reading the whole of this post they all sound stark raving bonkers! Not surprised you dread it..I would make this the last time and tell dh he can go on his own next time. What rude feckers!!! I would prob just bollocked in order to cope...grin Good Luck if hang on til Friday. wine

KatMcGee Sun 07-Aug-16 20:10:59

I said I wasn't that nice.

Queenbean, DH is a darling, if I really push it, we'd leave but I feel bad as he won't let me go on my own. I had to use a bit of my annual leave for this and he feels bad about it.

Rumpelstiltskin143 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:11:04

Don't fake anything. Just do as you want, they're going to talk about you anyway. Next comment, tell them to shut the fuck up, call a taxi and leave.

99percentchocolate Sun 07-Aug-16 20:11:06

I agree the comments they made were awful and must have made you feel very small. That wasn't kind.
However, it doesn't sound like you are being particularly receptive of them either. I would be quite hurt if my DS' wife didn't want to spend time with me or my family. I wouldn't make comments to her, but I would be hurt.
It sounds like there is more back story to this other than just your missing out on a few family events.

Squeegle Sun 07-Aug-16 20:11:25

Are you the only one who is not traditional and from the North? Why does your DH allow them to say such things to you?

Ememem84 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:11:38

Leave. I was at a BBQ with Dhs family on Thursday. Horrible aunt asked me what was wrong with me because I haven't had kids yet. Apparently I'm a disappointment to the family.

We left immediately.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sun 07-Aug-16 20:12:19

I don't see what's uptight about not liking the activities on offer. She's been brutally honest about it.

Leave, OP. There's absolutely no reason to stay. You've tried, and it hasn't worked. Escape back to comfort and lave them to their bikes and Barnaby's teething issues.

Happyinthehazeofadrunkenhour Sun 07-Aug-16 20:12:23

* prob just get bolloxed that was meant to say.

someonestolemynick Sun 07-Aug-16 20:12:31

Seriously, just stand up for yourself or go home or both. This sounds exhausting for everyone involved.
You don't need to take illness. You don't like them, that don't like you. Just go home.

Hoppinggreen Sun 07-Aug-16 20:12:40

They don't sound great but you sound like bloody hard work.
Your OH's family are usually like people from another country, they have different customs and speak a different language but if you want (or need) to spend time there you find a way to adapt.
My DH family are different to mine and I don't like to do everything they do or get involved in all of their "traditions" so I don't. I get involved to a certain extent but then disappear with a book if it all gets too much.
Apologies if you've already tried and they are still horrible but if not just try unclenching an joining in a bit.

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