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Is life harder for unattractive people?

(513 Posts)
CherryPicking Sat 06-Aug-16 23:04:20

I know life can be hard for lots of reasons, and that discrimination can take many forms more serious than this, but putting all other factors aside just for now, is day to day life that little bit harder for less attractive people? For example, are people less likely to be accepting of someone behaving assertively, either at work or elsewhere, if the person in question isn't easy on the eye? (I'm not much to look at myself if that makes any difference). What about things like job interviews or social situations, meeting new people?

UmbongoUnchained Sat 06-Aug-16 23:08:22

No. It is often assumed that I'm a bitch because I'm beautiful. Or that the only reason I earn so much money in my male dominated field of work is because I'm hot and I've probably sucked off all the guys in the office. It's also assumed that I'm thick. Because how can I possibly look nice and be able to read at the same time. The only reason my husband could possibly love me is for my looks. Not my personality. I'd rather be unremarkable and just melt in to the back ground.

chancesareabadthing Sat 06-Aug-16 23:08:32

I think it depends how unattractive and a person's own perspective. If you believe you are the bee's knees so keep trying to be a model life will be full of disappointment. If you actually are amazing to look at and female and trying to manage staff it can also lead to not being taken seriously.

HicDraconis Sat 06-Aug-16 23:08:47

I'm ugly as buggery, my life doesn't seem to have been too difficult! I have friends who are gorgeous and friends more toward my end of the looks spectrum - we all have similar struggles, moans about life, work, colleagues - I find that being female is more of a barrier to being taken seriously than being average in looks (at an optimistic best!). If I had stunning looks as well I'd never get taken seriously at work - at least with average looks my colleagues accept that I may have a working brain with an IQ several points higher than theirs

ReallyWetWater Sat 06-Aug-16 23:11:46

I think in serious life situations it has no effect whatsoever, a paramedic isn't going to decide whether to treat you worse then a better looking person & I don't think job interviews except ones based on looks like modelling give a flying fig about what you look like.

You may get a free coffee from a barista or someone may give you their seat on the train, but that's the only perks I can think of, they're more likely to get harassed as well & judged more I feel.

LostSight Sat 06-Aug-16 23:15:29

It has been shown that attractive people earn more on average. There are loads of articles about it including in scientific journals.

Of course, there will be other individual factors, but in general, I do think life is harder for those who are physically less attractive.

Trills Sat 06-Aug-16 23:16:12


Umbongo you sound as if you have thought very hard about your own misfortunes but not at all about those of others. The question was not about being average-looking, which you apparently crave (and could probably achieve if you put some effort into it - try a crap haircut and eating a few more chocolate bars if you really think it would make your life easier) but about being unattractive.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Sat 06-Aug-16 23:16:21


I'm not attractive. Or at least, I'm nothing special. Average is my goal, and I can usually achieve it.

But when I am having a rough time, I feel down about everything, my looks included. And I start to think, why bother, in that regard.

Could there be a correlation?

Trills Sat 06-Aug-16 23:18:31

I'm nothing special. in fact, I'm a bit of a bore...

When I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before.

UmbongoUnchained Sat 06-Aug-16 23:18:55

trills I was just answering the title. Is life harder for unattractive people? No. It's hard for beautiful people too.

MotherKat Sat 06-Aug-16 23:21:44

I'm fat, look twice in the street fat, I have strong bones so also look a bit butch, people routinely think I'm slow, stupid or lazy and treat me as such, it's horrible, one of my friends is beautiful, disconcertingly so, she often has people assume she is shallow, vapid, and cruel, I think it's hard being at either end of the spectrum. But neither of us has to put in the sheer amount of effort the media advises "normal" women to go through, I suppose that in itself is a blessing.

ATrumpIsAFartCalledDonald Sat 06-Aug-16 23:25:59

I do think that life is easier in some ways if you're more attractive. There've been some studies that lean this way at least in terms of social acceptance, career trajectory etc. I think everyone does face struggles in life but on the surface of it yes life is easier if you are attractive.

Thingvellir Sat 06-Aug-16 23:26:42

Yes I think life is easier generally speaking for attractive people. In my profession, a highly paid one, most people are nice looking and typically very articulate and from privileged backgrounds (including myself). It can't be a coincidence.... Not sure what else to say on the subject though

ATrumpIsAFartCalledDonald Sat 06-Aug-16 23:29:10

I consider myself to be attractive and have received many things for free just because someone liked how I looked but in the office I have felt as though I have to prove my 'brains' a bit more. I remember a conversation I once had with my aunt and she asked me why I bother when I could have easily just married well confused but that's a whole different thread I suppose.

Amelie10 Sat 06-Aug-16 23:29:26

Yanbu I agree. At just face value I know I do have an easier time of most things just because of my looks.

idontlikealdi Sat 06-Aug-16 23:31:01

Difficult. My sister was considered 'hot' at school and I was the ugly sister. Definitely not unattractive but not as hot as her. She got coached wrongly by mother she would marry into money. I had brains to rely on. - long time down the line and she hasn't married money and has a minimum wage job. I'm a high earner and have the family she craves.

Depends I guess if you mean unattractive personality or truly unattractive to look at which is difficult to define anyway

Out2pasture Sat 06-Aug-16 23:31:50

I think the research is clear that people who are less attractive have a harder time.

justinelibertine Sat 06-Aug-16 23:32:08

Yes. I have a cleft lip and palate. I have been called ugly ever since I can remember. I hate going out. I hate the way I look. I hate who I am because not many see the real me, only my face. I've no friends because people avoid me. I worry about my daughter being teased because I'm ugly. I'd give anything to just be average.

CaptainCrunch Sat 06-Aug-16 23:32:36

My ds is exceptionally good looking, not mum goggles, total strangers have approached him to say how attractive he is. It's a curse, he hates the attention and expectation.

CherryPicking Sat 06-Aug-16 23:33:15

Thanks all. I'm thinking the answer is leaning slightly towards "yes" on this thread. I'm starting to think I should be a bit kinder to myself "Cherry, maybe it's not your fault you didn't get the job. People are superficial." That sort of thing.But maybe that would be giving me an excuse not to try. Which would be self defeating..

Cloudhopping Sat 06-Aug-16 23:34:16

Research shows that attractive people have more successful careers, are richer and are happier so yes in general I'd say life is harder for unattractive people.

CherryPicking Sat 06-Aug-16 23:35:19

Justine sorry you're having such a hard time. People are such shits sometimes. flowers

TuppencePenny Sat 06-Aug-16 23:36:06

When I was a teenager I was gawky and unattractive skinny and with buck teeth and greasy hair. (Accurate!) I didn't "blossom" until I was about 17/18 and discovered more fashionable clothes, make up and had braces on my teeth. I then did some modelling and all of a sudden people thought I was "beautiful" so I feel I can see this from both sides. I'm so so grateful I wasn't attractive as a teenager as I made friends with fellow geeks, was "the funny one" and got top grades. Even now people I suppose would consider me beautiful when I make an effort but the majority of the time I don't wear make up and wear jeans and outdoor wear because that's who I am and when I'm in make up etc I feel people do treat me differently. Worse actually- women in the workplace aren't as friendly if I'm done up and I think they assume I'm thick. I prefer looking low key.

WaitrosePigeon Sat 06-Aug-16 23:36:17

If i'm going to be completely honest, yes, being beautiful makes life easier.

Kr1stina Sat 06-Aug-16 23:37:22

Justine, I'm sorry to hear about your experiences flowers

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