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Partner working away

(14 Posts)
MermaidTears Sat 06-Aug-16 06:28:51

My dp works in management of types of events, (being vague) he has been been offered a job over in Dubai, which is roughly one month on, one month off, (which I find a bizarre schedule in itself?) Anyway, he really wants to go for it, it would be the next step up the ladder, lots of perks, a few free holidays for us, plus more money. I just cannot get my head around it, is anyone else in a similar situation and how did you adjust/cope being alone with DC ? Thanks.

PuppyMonkeyBaby Sat 06-Aug-16 06:36:08

A 28/28 schedule isn't too unusual but be aware that it will more likely become 30 away/26 home. We were living in Dubai and DH was working a similar distance away with regards to flight times and time difference.

Our entire life together has been him working away (he's currently on a 5 week stint with maybe a week at home between another 5 week stint).
I preferred the regular schedule to the erratic job he has now as you can look ahead and plan whereas right now I have no idea where he will be at any given time.
It does mean that he will have a 50/50 chance of being away for anything important but it's not so bad when you now plenty of time in advance.

MermaidTears Sat 06-Aug-16 06:44:05

I didn't mean to post this twice. Do you have DC and did it confuse them? I'm quite into routine and would cope better with. Clear schedule, if I know he is away at certain times I could deal with that better. I didn't realise 28/28 was usual. I had never heard of anyone working that before.

PuppyMonkeyBaby Sat 06-Aug-16 06:48:20

Yes, I have two DC and I can't say it confused them, they just accept that Dad is rarely here. That's not necessarily a good thing and it has affected their relationship.

However, the regular schedule was for two years out of 14 and the rest has been very erratic. For a couple of years, I don't think a regular schedule would be as big an issue of what we've had to put up with.

JustMarriedBecca Sat 06-Aug-16 06:51:42

My partner did 6 weeks on, 3 weeks at home pre children and it was a struggle but ok. The downside for us was that he was pretty much uncontactable for those 6 weeks bar some dodgy Skype but Dubai is contactable. Just be aware he'd need to be earning HUGE money in Dubai to support a decent life style. It's expensive!

PuppyMonkeyBaby Sat 06-Aug-16 06:56:46

If he's there alone he can rent a studio which cuts down the costs of having to pay for a family villa, second car, housemaid, schooling, family entertainment, flights home for the family when the temperature gets ridiculously high.

PuppyMonkeyBaby Sat 06-Aug-16 06:57:16

Oh, and make sure his company will pay for his accomodation, all flights and healthcare.

MermaidTears Sat 06-Aug-16 07:00:39

I have heard it is all luxury etc on Dubai. What sort of wage are we talking would you say?

MermaidTears Sat 06-Aug-16 07:02:13

puppy I just asked him and company pays for accommodation and for them to live. They are based in America Dubai and Australia! Plus some perks they will pay for family to fly out occasionally.

BitOutOfPractice Sat 06-Aug-16 07:11:29

4 weeks on, 4 weeks off is very common in the oil industry. Did it for years with my rxDP.

How do you cope? You just sort of get used to it I guess. I quite liked if.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 06-Aug-16 07:57:24

I have friends where the husband works 4-5 weeks on/4-5 weeks off, he's done it for years and they have 5 children 14+ and it works for them. They're in touch all the time via Skype etc and he's very involved in family life, it hasn't damaged his relationship with the kids at all

MyBreadIsEggy Sat 06-Aug-16 08:10:02

I agree with BitOutOfPractice - my DH is in the armed forces and is away for two weeks out of most months, plus courses/training exercises/range packages that last a few weeks in between that, and then the odd 4-6 month overseas deployment here and there....honestly, you just get on with it. You don't have a choice.
Your routine adjusts to him not being there, and you always have the homecoming to look forward to. My Dd is still very little, but she notices when he's not here, and her behaviour changes when he is around (ie. I wonder if daddy will let me get away with this). How old are you DC?

Daytona79 Sat 06-Aug-16 08:30:15

My husband works 28/28 in Angola offshore, but as someone said it's actually 26/30 as travel time comes out of his time

We have a 22 month old son who is very attached to him when he is home, he speaks about him constantly when he is away. I feel sorry for him but that's just our life. When he was born it was lucky he was home but he left to go away when baby was only 2 days old which was hard

We have just had another baby on Tuesday , this time he home for a few weeks which is good

How do you cope.? You just do. It's hard and lonely at times but in return for that he gets high wages. He misses Christmases , birthdays etc often. And we are just lucky he was home for births of kids as had it fell in his rig time he would not of got home etc for them.

limon Sat 06-Aug-16 09:11:58

My dh is proposing working g away two days per week and I'm struggling with that. If this doesn't suit you then I suggest you need a proper discussion.

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