To think this outcome in court is outrageous?

(14 Posts)
Silvermockingbird Thu 04-Aug-16 22:56:52

So DD (3) had contact stopped with her dad about 10 month ago- I found out he was taking drugs (cannabis and cocaine) when DD was in his care (Saturday daytime and dropped off Sunday morning) and also taking DD around all day selling cocaine using her pram as a stash. I was absolutely disgusted and sick to my stomach to find this out and before people judge I honestly had no Idia he had any drug involvement! I know that's hard to believe but we were only together a short period of time, and split up shortly after DD was born. Very horrible controlling relationship. But anyways contact was stopped as soon as I found this out, I recently got a court order off him to get contact back, forked out all the money for representation.. i had texts off him admitting he was buying and using drugs around DD "but not selling", he also admitted to his solicitor that he uses drugs, aparantly he has had possession convictions from years ago.. But because he hasn't been caught using or selling drugs around my daughter and it isn't on his police record THEY DONT THINK THERE ARE ANY SAFEGUARDING CONCERNS!? They have given us 8 weeks of contact (supervised by my mother which is a big inconvenience for her with the hours she works but they brushed off the Idia of a contact centre) so she was the only trusted one to do this, then after these 8 weeks he gets contact back as usual one over night stay every weekend! I feel so sick at the fact I know he's still selling drugs now and my little girl has to go stay with him and I can't protect her at all! My daughters care has been completely taken out of my hands and I really don't know what to do! I feel like it's a massive joke the courts claiming to have the child's best intrests at heart when they are completely disregarding what's going on and putting her in a dangerous environment.

honeysucklejasmine Thu 04-Aug-16 22:59:37

Do you have any right to appeal?

Snowflakes1122 Thu 04-Aug-16 23:05:46

What an awful situation for you and your child sad
Is there any chance of appealing?

I would look into making him do a drugs test for the court to see if he is clean/what he is actually taking.

It would seem they have done what's in the best interests of him rather than your child.

Wish I had some better advice for you, but Yanbu.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 04-Aug-16 23:09:08

Why did you agree to your mum supervising? The courts can't order your mum to supervise contact she has her own life and commitment and it's nothing to do with her!

What if she refuses to supervise contact, will it not then happen?

JudyCoolibar Thu 04-Aug-16 23:13:23

How certain are you about the drug selling? Is it worth tipping off the police?

Silvermockingbird Thu 04-Aug-16 23:28:25

I could appeal but my solicitor says I'd be fighting a loosing battle, my DP is a contractor and he doesn't have any work on for the next 6 months and I'm currently pregnant with DC2 so money is extremely tight, and i don't think it would matter if she refused seing as contact will be back to normal with no supervision in a matter of weeks- I feel like they were only agreeing to supervision to keep me abit sweeter (which it hasn't!) and 100% certain about the drug selling, numerous people have told me and have shown me messages off him as proof, I did a lot of digging and have even seen messages off people I don't know who have actually bought the drugs off him and confirmed my DD has been there quite a few times. I did tip the police off at the time but haven't heard anything else about it- obviously didn't get caught. The worst people seem to be able to snake their way out of anything. He has a girlfriend he might even keep everything at her house I don't know.. sad

Domino20 Fri 05-Aug-16 00:00:42

Drugs testing. Try and insist. You could ignore the court order and see if he takes you before the Court again?

AtSea1979 Fri 05-Aug-16 00:06:42

Appeal. Have CAFCASS completely their assessment? What are their concerns regarding contact at dads?

Silvermockingbird Fri 05-Aug-16 00:12:07

They say I'll have to pay for the drug testing if I request it which will be about a grand, and I don't see the point if he has openly admitted to them that he does use drugs, CAFCASS have spoke to him but not me (their hopeless didn't show up at court and can't get intouch) aparantly they don't have concerns because the drug selling isn't on his police record. As far as I know they haven't even inspected his flat. He told me he had a 2 bed so DD has her own room there then after contact was stopped I find out it's only a 1 bed and she didn't even have a cot/toddler bed there! And had just been sleeping in his bed.

AtSea1979 Fri 05-Aug-16 00:17:43

You could try ringing the CAFCASS manager. I outlined my concerns to one and he was very helpful in sorting it out and guiding me through what I needed to do next.
I don't know if you've seen any of my threads but I'm waiting for the outcome tomorrow.

Enoughisenough9 Fri 05-Aug-16 00:51:18

You need to show whoever made the ruling your proof that he's dealing when he has the child.

RepentAtLeisure Fri 05-Aug-16 00:53:57

It's awful. Sadly it takes a lot for a man to be denied visitation these days if he pursues it. The rights of your small dd to be protected from swallowing a dangerous pill she thinks is a sweet count for a lot less that the rights of her father to get his way.

Did they just decide your DM would supervise without her consent? Perhaps you could get back to them and say it's not possible due to her work hours, and buy yourself a bit of time while something else is sorted? But unfortunately I think you may have to depend on the good will of your ex to not sell or take hard drugs around his small daughter. It beggars belief.

prh47bridge Fri 05-Aug-16 01:49:38

The rights of your small dd to be protected from swallowing a dangerous pill she thinks is a sweet count for a lot less that the rights of her father to get his way

That is rubbish. The primary concern of the courts is the child's welfare. The starting position is that the child has a right to a relationship with both parents and that this should only be removed if necessary for their welfare.

The problem the courts face is that a lot of parents with care make false allegations about the other parent in an attempt to frustrate contact. That means the courts treat parents claiming that their ex is a drug dealer, child abuser or whatever with caution. Unfortunately that sometimes means that people making such claims with good reason end up not being believed because they don't have enough evidence to convince the courts.

If the OP can come up with stronger evidence that her ex is a safeguarding risk to her daughter she may be able to get the contact arrangements changed, at least so that contact is always supervised and possibly moved to a contact centre.

RepentAtLeisure Fri 05-Aug-16 02:18:32

That is rubbish.

It should be rubbish. I wish it was. A woman in my family has to send her dc's to their father twice a week and I can't give the details because it's not my story to tell, but they are not safe with him, and the family court has pretty much crossed its fingers and hoped for the best.

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