A neighbour one. AIBU to ask how to deal with this tactfully?

[Magikarp]

We live in a Victorian semi with old, well insulated walls. Normal day to day noise isn't a problem and I'm very aware that noise is something that is to be expected.

NDN have two DC under 18 months and we have one age 7 months. I hear their kids cry, they hear mine. It's all to be expected. The problems start in the evening.

They suddenely become incapable of anything other than bellowing. Older DC of theirs runs laps of the house, bang bang bang. Her DH yells up and down the stairs. She screams at younger DC because he won't sleep.

Normally I really wouldn't care but it's almost 10 and my DD is being woken over and over by banging and shouting. It's beyond acceptable living noise yet again and I'm getting annoyed. The problem is how do I broach this without being unreasonable?

I don't think she needs extra help, her DC are happy and obviously cared for. They have just never had any concept of bedtime.

[Shizzlestix]

YABU. She has a different way of doing things and if you were to speak to her about this, I bet you'd lose any semblance of a good relationship. Ttoo rate, OP, my ndn drives me a bit mad with her pseudo sweet attitude in front of me and screaming at the dds in the house but I wouldn't dream of tackling her!

[Magikarp]

It's not her way of dealing with things. It's the doors being slammed at 10pm so loudly that our house shakes!

[PollyBanana]

Having a "different way of doing things" does not excuse making excessive noise all evening until well after 9pm

[chdmum20]

I have quite bangy ndn's on dds room side of the house
if they get too noisy for her liking she bangs the wall and asks them to be quiet seems to do the trick most of the time as our walls are paper thin so they must hear her

[Littlecaf]

If you get on with them in every other way, I'd leave it. Like all these parenting things, it'll pass. Their DCs will eventually grow up.

My parents (and I until I went to uni) lived next door to the same family for 30 years. The argued like hell, when there DCs were teenagers it was constant, however my parents describe them as fantastic neighbours. It stopped when the kids matured.