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AIBU not to let my 9yo DD1 have a mobile phone

(59 Posts)
BecauseIbloodysaidsothatswhy Thu 04-Aug-16 21:01:28

My 9yo DD1 has been nagging me for a mobile phone for months. It started because her best friend was given one by her dad so that he could contact her without having to go through her mum (messy divorce/access battle). Anyway, I've told DD1 she is too young & she can have one when she starts high school in 2 years (which went down well grin).

Just before the end of term, however, a police officer came into to DDs school to discuss Internet safety and asked DDs year group how many of them had their own mobile phones. Apparently, the vast majority of them put their hands up hmm which further inflamed my DDs sense of injustice.

So - AIBU to day no to a mobile phone for a 9yo or is that just the age they get them nowadays? Happy to be told I'm just an old fuddy duddy smile

Pearlman Thu 04-Aug-16 21:13:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I got one when I was 12 due to messy divorce which I think is/was a good age to get one. My friends younger sister has just got one at 10 and was the last one in her year to get one. I don't get it personally, but younger kids do have them these days.
Are you going to get one/not get one on the basis of this thread?

If you do, you can get a contract which can see texts/calls and you can make sure it has a parent filter thing on it

lilydaisyrose Thu 04-Aug-16 21:17:10

I have a 9 year old daughter and wouldn't dream of getting her a phone yet. She occasionally mentions it but isn't too fussed. Only one of her (many) friends has a phone but just for games - no messaging.

TeenAndTween Thu 04-Aug-16 21:20:44

Some will have put their hands up because they didn't want to be left out, even though they don't actually have a phone.

Others will have phones because of divorce.

Others will have access to a phone for very specific use, e.g. so can contact/be contacted by parents when at park.

9-14 is the age when parents have very different views on what is acceptable and when. You need to do what you think best for your child and your circumstances.

pleasemothermay1 Thu 04-Aug-16 21:22:57

Please read the stories of your children being groomed on line and or the boys acsessing porn

Do you still think a phone for a 9 year old is a good idea tbh op I got my son a phone with Internet at 14 and we had had nothing but trouble

It's a nightmare to get if off them they stay up all fucking night if allowed we took ds phone off him once and it was still pinging at 4am

ineedamoreadultieradult Thu 04-Aug-16 21:25:45

DS1 is 9 he has a phone, an old one from DH so cost nothing he has a pay as you go SIM in it so I can call him to come in if he is playing out and incase or emergencies. He has had the same £5 top up on it since October last year. He doesn't use it for calling or texting anyone but me and then only very occasionally. Most of his class mates have a phone the majority don't have SIMs so just use them as a tablet using wifi for playing games etc. It's up to you what you do and how you manage it if you do give her one. DS doesn't take his phone up to bed with him and isn't allowed to put a password on he also knows I look at what texts/calls he has made and more recently check his Instagram including DMs which seems to be the way most of his friends communicate. He had had his phone since his 8th birthday and to be honest uses it a lot less than his friends who have just got one I think the novelty has worn off. Good luck holding out until 11.

OneArt Thu 04-Aug-16 21:41:34

My DS is 10, we're planning to give him one for xmas (he'll be 11 by then).

StarryIllusion Thu 04-Aug-16 21:45:28

Not in the slightest. She doesn't need one yet. I think 11 is fine.

Artistic Thu 04-Aug-16 22:05:37

Mine is in the same boat but I've put my foot down! Won't be getting her one until she's in secondary school & since she's doing 11+, the brand of phone will be directly linked to her exam performance! But I've given her my old iPhone to use over wifi at home with no SIM. She's not thrilled but accepts this as my final decision.

And if she brings up other girls in her class who have one I just tell her that we are not like them in every other respect so why do we need to be in this aspect? She's had to live with that as the end of that argument.

But she has everything she needs and more, so I don't think a mobile is necessary at all. Earlier this year she got her own laptop for good school reports. She knows the overall situation is fair.

987flowers Thu 04-Aug-16 22:09:08

Depends, dd1 got one at 9 because she walked home from school (this happens from Y5 here) so I wanted her to have one, like a previous poster she's only had a fiver on it and I've never topped up. It was a cheap phone and has been useful if plans change. Do what is right for you, dd1 doesn't sit with it all the time it is only used when necessary.

BertPuttocks Thu 04-Aug-16 22:23:45

My 10yr-old used to believe her classmates when they said they all had phones.

Then her school brought in a policy of collecting in phones at the beginning of the day and handing them back at the end. The box rarely has more than two or three phones in it.

The others have since confessed that what they really meant was that their parents sometimes let them play games on their phones. smile

Around here it's more typical to get one when they start secondary school.

megletthesecond Thu 04-Aug-16 22:28:43

You can get phones without internet and cameras.

9yo ds has a basic Samsung purely for days out and when he's out playing, I text him when he needs to come home for food.

Over my body will he have a camera or internet ready phone.

Ameliablue Thu 04-Aug-16 22:29:45

I keep a spare one for my 8 and 10 year old to use when needed. Although in reality is only my 10 yo that's ever anywhere she might need it but even that's infrequent hence why she doesn't have her own yet.

Chocolatefudgecake100 Thu 04-Aug-16 22:32:52

I played with barbies at 9 whats the world coming to? I undetstand the pressure but just do what YOU feel is best

lovelyupnorth Thu 04-Aug-16 22:33:46

Our Dds where 13 before they got phones (currently 15/14) don't see why anyone would need one earlier.

SharonfromEON Thu 04-Aug-16 22:33:54

My 9 year old doesn't have one..He doesn't need one...

Ameliablue Thu 04-Aug-16 22:39:37

Funnily enough you can play with barbies and have a mobile phone. Not that I'm suggesting a 9 year old needs a phone, I just don't think Barbie is relevant.

strawberrybootlace Thu 04-Aug-16 22:42:58

I don't know a single 9yo with a mobile phone! The right time is when you think that she needs one.

WhimsicalWinnifred Thu 04-Aug-16 22:51:47

I'd get her a basic one. In all honesty, dd is about to start school in sept and will be dropped off by cm and collected. I desperately want to give her my old iPhone "just in case" but I know this is hugely overprotective so I won't. At 9 I would.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 04-Aug-16 22:57:36

Kids round where I live get one usually at 9 as that's when they start walking to school by themselves.

ohmygodyouguys Thu 04-Aug-16 23:13:55

I wasn't allowed a phone until I was 16. I wasn't really bothered by this as I could always have used a payphone/borrowed a friend's phone if I needed to contact my parents. We lived in the middle of nowhere though so it might have been nice to be able to keep in touch with friends outside school! I don't think there's any need for a 9 year old to have one though.

Brokenbiscuit Thu 04-Aug-16 23:20:38

My dd got her first phone for her 11th birthday (a few weeks ago). Most of her friends got phones this year. A couple already had them. A couple claimed to have them earlier but then mysteriously had no number to share with dd until this summer.

I'm my experience, most DC get phones in time to start secondary. A few get them earlier, but definitely not the majority.

WhimsicalWinnifred Thu 04-Aug-16 23:26:44

Oh my god... the fact your posting here makes me think you were 16 a good few years ago (and I mean that in the nicest possible way but cannot for the life of me think of a nicer way to put it) and the world has changed.

PizzzaTheHutt Thu 04-Aug-16 23:27:23

Dd (12) has had a phone since she started secondary school. I also have s 9 year old Ds and would never dream of buying a 9year old a phone before they actually need one - bonkers!

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