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Re: this bloody Facebook group?

(550 Posts)
Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:07:35

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets hmm. Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

Amelie10 Thu 04-Aug-16 16:13:48

Yanbu but why didn't you just comment on that group?

Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:15:15

I did!

proudnewMNaddict Thu 04-Aug-16 16:15:23

You should have said all these things to the idiots on the FB group before you left

BillSykesDog Thu 04-Aug-16 16:18:26

What did they reply?

Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:21:17

I have no idea, I said my piece and vamoosed. I'll only get sucked into the argument.

Just thought I'd rant about it on here too grin

FaithlessC Thu 04-Aug-16 16:23:10

I'm in a similar group and I don't even know how I was added in the first place. I swear each post is about how their snowflakes are being absolute horrors (so much that other "nasty parents are putting formal complaints" about their sweet little babies who are just expressing themselves) and will not do as they're told yet God forbid you tell them that perhaps they're being too lenient under the umbrella of Gentle Parenting.
Any discipline is a no no, moving to their own beds, giving medications or anything with sugar in... I've even seen them advocating moving the disgruntled husband out of the marital bed in favour of the children.

Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:25:20

The thing is I don't give a shiny shit what other parents do. And like I said I do do a lot of what "gentle" or "attachment" parents do.

What winds me up is telling people that's the only way and anything else is wrong.

This poor woman is knackered, and all anyone can do is say it's weird she doesn't want to co sleep?!

PickledCauliflower Thu 04-Aug-16 16:30:27

I deactivated my FB account a few weeks back and have no intention of going back.
I became fed up with it. Individuals posting photoshopped pictures and false information.
I find it to be a strange place and I prefer life without it.

Spudlet Thu 04-Aug-16 16:34:05

YANBU. I have very low tolerance levels for social media guilt tripping bullshit, can't be doing with it at all. And similarly low levels of patience for parenting philosophies / books / whatever that insist that their way is the only way and ignore the fact that children are as individual as their parents, and that they therefore aren't all going to automatically take to any given method. The two combined bring me out in a rash!

Klaptrap Thu 04-Aug-16 16:36:09

I'm on a breastfeeding group like that - formula is poison, bottle feeding is the work of the devil, you must continue breastfeeding AT ALL COSTS (even that of your mental and physical health). One woman was "upset" and felt "unsupported" because bags to store BM weren't where she thought they should be in the shop. confused

Someone is always posting that they saw a baby being bottle fed and "felt so sorry" for the baby.

I am BF my first DC, but they are a bunch of nuts!

practy Thu 04-Aug-16 16:36:58

I am not in any face book groups like that. But I have a face book friend, who in real life is really nice. But on face book she constantly posts about how AP means that she has a much stronger bond with her child than she would have, and how anything but co sleeping is abusive.

f1ddlesticks Thu 04-Aug-16 16:41:45

I had to leave a FB group like that because I couldn't take the sancimnious pro-breastfeeding propaganda they were spouting. The whole "your child will fail in life, be behind in everything, not be able to speak properly, have poor jaw formation" etc if you don't BF for bloody ages really got on my nerves!

Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:42:48

klap

I am on the group you are referring to also I think.

Currently someone there is insulted because someone asked her to put 'eat sleep formula feed repeat' on a t shirt.

LifeInJeneral Thu 04-Aug-16 16:43:04

I hate when people say crap like that practy, how om earth does she know that she has a much better bond than she wpuld have?how does she know that her bond would have been any different whatsoever. It's just bloody annoying. I'm a single mum to a 6 month old and as far as my parenting "type" goes I run by the philosophy of if me baby and dog have all survived the day,eaten and none of us had a metal break down then I am doing a good job.

LifeInJeneral Thu 04-Aug-16 16:44:45

I hereby name this "survivalist" parenting.

practy Thu 04-Aug-16 16:45:36

Of course she doesn't and I have tried to say that. In real life she seems more a muddle through like everyone else. But on face book she tries to present this perfect mother ideal. She does the same with her marriage though, whereas I know her Husband is a dick.

NeedACleverNN Thu 04-Aug-16 16:46:59

I refuse to join anything like that.

Regarding Amber bracelets, if they want their child to wear them, keep your mouth shut and let them. If they want to believe it works, nothing will change that.

It's not much of a choking hazard. Each bead had a knot either side so if the bracelet does break only one bead will fall off.

I personally prefer calpol but you can't fight everyone

HughLauriesStubble Thu 04-Aug-16 16:47:35

Yanbu op I'm in a breastfeeding group and although I find it invaluable for advice, some of the stuff posted on it is plain barmy and ridiculously judgey hmm

FruitCider Thu 04-Aug-16 16:49:22

I used to be in a similar one as I practice certain aspects of AP, but found there was too much woo in the group for me, so I left.

Scaredycat3000 Thu 04-Aug-16 16:50:51

I had very similar on here. I asked if anyone could recommend nappies for my very tall (58cm) which made him very thin (9lb) 4 day old DS2. I'm not sure what planet anybody would recommend buying washables in this situation, but the first response did!
Scrap the sposies and go for a modern washable nappy with separate waterproof cover. Works much better than sposies, and much cheaper as well ;)
Given how impractical (huge expense for one month, extra washing with NB) washables are for the first few weeks it's not something I'd recommend to anybody anyway!
These types of people almost always do more harm for their passionate cause than good. YANBU.

Rozdeek Thu 04-Aug-16 16:51:00

I fucking hate co sleeping. My LO just thrashes about and annoys me.

practy Thu 04-Aug-16 16:54:39

Such a shame. You would have a much stronger bond with your LO if you let them annoy you all night with their thrashing about grin

SalemSaberhagen Thu 04-Aug-16 16:54:51

Roz I have literally just read the formula post on the group you mean!!

2ManySweets Thu 04-Aug-16 16:55:42

I only learned about Amber necklaces about a month ago when a few babies at sensory play had them on. To me, and please understand this is just my fevered and overwrought brain, putting a necklace on a 4month/6month/one year old is - again TO ME - absolutely counter intuitive. Something wrapped around my baby's neck strikes me as something to be avoided; when I see them they smash my anxiety levels through the roof.

Thread derail, please ignore me. It's one of those days. makes twentieth coffee of the day

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