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AIBU?

I'm always the one taking the photos at parties/outings, but...

161 replies

user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 02:43

SOME of my friends always mock me for always taking photos as they don't take any at all, some of them even make me feel bad/embarrassed at the time by pointing it out & making comments...

BUT THEN later some of the same people ask me if i'll send the photos to them, and they're all thrilled to see them next day, talk about them all and have a laugh over them on WhatsApp groups, use them for profile photos/Instagram posts etc.
And then 2/5/10 years later they become treasured memories for everyone, are used for various talking points, presents/cards, photo cakes and general reminiscing.

And if I didn't take them then we'd have no photos at all of so many milestones and special occasions. But it's alright, I just brush it off and do my own thing. I should add i'm a photographer so I do enjoy taking photos even when just on my phone and have an eye for things maybe others don't care about.

However..
The other night we went on a goodbye meal for a friend who is emigrating half way round the world AND it was the first time in 5 years every single one of us had been together under same roof and not likely to happen again for who knows how many years - an occasion on which even people who don't normally take photos would deem photo worthy for a few memories, or at least one group photo.

One friend who strangely is usually the one up for photos and even suggested taking a few photos with me herself that night, kept making jibes about me. We had just two group photos done, one sitting down on the table before eating and later one when we had the surprise cake brought out.
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor, the cake being brought out etc normal stuff which either doesn't involve anyone else, no one even notices i'm taking them, no one is posing for them or is pretty normal stuff to photograph.

However she kept saying in a stunned manner, "I've never taken so many photos like this before in a restaurant.." - TWO group photos? Which people can choose to be part of voluntarily?

Then when another friend was suggesting we should go to a nature trail walk soon she said to her "Don't take Rose, she'll just take loads of photos". I usually just let these digs slide, but this time I wasn't playing, I hadn't done anything to warrant such mean comments and without missing a beat I cheerily said "It's alright i'll go with my family" to which she made a really bitchy sound mocking and mimicking what I had just said as she didn't like that I actually replied making her comment look like the pathetic jibe it was :|

Sigh, I just feel really crappy about this now, but also glad that I said something.

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 02:46

Oh and she also said "Are you Malaysian, as they take loads of photos too" Hmm

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Savagebeauty · 04/08/2016 03:00

You probably get on their nerves constantly taking photos. And you've just used your name too.

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 03:10

Yep hi Rose here, won't let me change the username to what I want at the moment.

Yeah..i'd understand that if you hadn't conveniently ignored the fact that they ask for all the photos afterwards etc. and not sure how 2 group photos which everyone else wanted to mark a rare occasion warranted getting on nerves the other night.

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ThisIslandGirl · 04/08/2016 03:12

YANBU. I wish I was more like you, I always forget to take pictures and then regret it.

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SalemSaberhagen · 04/08/2016 03:45

What a helpful post Savage Hmm

YANBU op, but just ignore them. They will inevitably come to you asking for a photo at some point, remember what they said tonight so you can use it back at them!

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DonaldTrumpTriggersSWJlol · 04/08/2016 03:59

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:00

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:01

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:01

thisislandgirl Honestly I think that's how my friends feel to some extent too, they're kinda useless at technology, don't have good camera phones, don't have the memory storage, not good at taking photos, can't remember to take them, can't be bothered when they're out to do anything etc and then have some regrets later. One of them was just telling me that she lost all her photos on her amazing holiday because she didn't know how to use her phone storage properly.

But I am good at all those things so i'm doing a favour to everyone really and I guess because it's noticeable to them as i'm different to their behaviour they end up saying some comments which may be kinda harmless, but I guess tonight one of them just took it too far and was hurtful.

Interestingly when i'm with other groups of people this doesn't happen as they also take general photos like most young people do nowadays, maybe even more than me. I guess this particular group of friends of mine are actually unusual by today's standards for young people in that they don't take any at all, but then do really enjoy the results.

SalemSaberhagen Savage is just living up to his/her name I guess! :p
And yes I need to be better at remembering to reply back with what they said. It certainly took that one friend by surprise when I didn't just take it like a doormat like i've done with other jibes (about other topics) in previous years.

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:01

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:02

DonaldTrumpTriggersSWJlol Okay lol.

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user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 04:02

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DonaldTrumpTriggersSJWlol · 04/08/2016 04:26

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CaoNiMa · 04/08/2016 04:50

Cripes, and there are people dying in the world...

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SaltyMyDear · 04/08/2016 05:06

Well done for thinking of a reply so quickly!

I'd have not known what to say and stewed on the comment for ages. You handled it perfectly.

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QforCucumber · 04/08/2016 05:21

Hmm, we have a friend in our group like this and it's really annoying. One or 2 pics yea fine, but her phone is never away - you're in the middle of a conversation and get 'ooooo smile'
We went to a gig and she recorded every song, I don't get it. Why not enjoy the moment for what it is? People get frustrated if you're not conversing, or are continuously on your phone instead of interacting with them at the event.
Yeso they may like some of the photos afterwards, but do you really get to enjoy the things you do if your phone is never out of your hand?

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puglife15 · 04/08/2016 05:24

Taking multiple pics in a restaurant of absolutely everything can be a little impolite or annoying, especially if you're doing it rather than socialising. I'm talking about the snaps, not group photos.

In my group of friends though this is the sort of thing we would gently rib each other for. Could this be the case here? Maybe just a difference in sense of humour?

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BoomBoomsCousin · 04/08/2016 05:32

They could be annoyed by your photography even if they like the photos after. And liking the photos doesn't mean they think it's worth the annoyance, it may be more that they figure you've annoyed them all evening they may as well enjoy what you've produced?

It maybe that they're jealous of your skill, or irritated with you for totally unrelated issues, but I think actually being bothered by the photo taking is more likely.

I know I find people taking a lot of photos to be a bit annoying sometimes, but I also like photos especially if someone has a good eye, which you presumably do. Maybe they'd just prefer it if you cut back on the number of photos you take? You'd have to ask them really though. We can't tell you what they're thinking.

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myownprivateidaho · 04/08/2016 05:45

Hmm. Can see why you're annoyed, but excessive photo-taking IS annoying I'm afraid! And as for your friends wanting your photos... Most people might want a couple (literally 1 or 2) photos from a social occasion, so if you're taking loads they might be interested in seeing a few and still be annoyed if you take millions. And the reason they rely on you as photographer rather than taking their own is presumably because they know you'll be taking tons anyway (nothing worse than lots of different people taking identical photos when they can just as easily take one and share it). If you weren't there, I'm sure they'd get a couple on their phones. Long story short, I think you have to take a bit of teasing in return for the annoyance of being a serial photographer. Unless it's really mean spirited or something.

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CatNip2 · 04/08/2016 06:00

DD has a friend who does this and frequently comes home complaining that all X has done all night is film her, X doesn't seem to join in the evening properly as she is always recording it. She then subsequently posts numerous unflattering pictures of DD on social media.

Perhaps tone down the number of photos you take?

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Amelie10 · 04/08/2016 06:04

The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor



And you don't see how irritating this is even if you aren't taking photos of other people?
Irritating for someone in the group to be flashing away and being rude.

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Sprink · 04/08/2016 06:13

The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours)

What is the actual fucking point of taking photos for yourself that will disappear in 24 hours?

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tofutti · 04/08/2016 06:19

YANBU. Just say something 'Ok, I'll remember not to send you a photo next time you ask for one'.

Ignore the troll on here, they have been reported.

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DonaldTrumpTriggersSJWlol · 04/08/2016 06:22

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Groovee · 04/08/2016 06:27

I take lots of photos too OP. They help me remember what we did or what happened at that point. If people have a problem with it, that's their look out. I do it for my own collection as my fibro fog really makes me forget things now.

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