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AIBU?

Is this woman being unreasonable?

19 replies

PonyPals · 03/08/2016 09:18

Having a baby at 62 years of age? Her partner is 78.
We went through many years trying to have a child through IVF and I have recently given birth to my IVF miracle but personally there is no way I would have been trying until 62 years of age!
www.news.com.au/national/breaking-news/tasmanian-woman-has-baby-at-63/news-story/47b06c85da4e22813635649c07d849fe
I hope the link worked!

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davos · 03/08/2016 09:22

I know it's all 'each to their own' but I do think this is unreasonable. I know parents can die at any age, however the fact it's that the chances are that neither of these parents will see the child into adulthood. I think it's really unfair on the kids.

And chances are that the parents won't be able to do much with the kids in a few years or need carers themselves.

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absolutemug · 03/08/2016 09:22

It wouldn't be my choice personally. She would be 78 when the child was only 16. Her partner would be gone, long before the child can look after themselves.

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Tiggeryoubastard · 03/08/2016 09:23

Why? Who are you writing a piece for?

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Laptopontable · 03/08/2016 09:24

Why would she be being unreasonable?

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PonyPals · 03/08/2016 09:25

Haha I am not writing for anyone. I live in Australia and this is what was being shown on the news. Everyone is debating it so I thought I would post.
You are becoming a regular hunter... I have seen you constantly accuse OPs.. Perhaps you should lighten up a bit

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PonyPals · 03/08/2016 23:26

I guess the reason she might be unreasonable is that she is being unfair to the child. Who will look after him or her when she becomes too frail?

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LaurieFairyCake · 03/08/2016 23:28

I suspect I'm quite prejudiced about this - I think people shouldn't have babies past the age natural conception takes place. So about 50/55.

Not sure how old the oldest woman is who had a natural conception is but that's the cut off for me.

Personally at mid 40's I think I'm feeling a bit tired and wouldn't do it now.

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Cutecat78 · 03/08/2016 23:29

Is ridiculous IMO.

But look at Des O Conner and the Rollong Stones and the like - men can so I guess women think it's ok.

Menopause is a bit early really seeing as we live a lot longer but how do you keep up with a full time toddler in your 60s?

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WorraLiberty · 03/08/2016 23:32

It's very selfish imo.

Just because something can be done, doesn't mean it should be done.

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MammaTJ · 03/08/2016 23:35

I had my final child at 39, and to be honest, that was late for me!

I am now struggling with mobility and my DS, who is nearly 10, loves to 'look after mummy'. I should be looking after him! (I do, to the best of my ability, but he gets me drinks and stuff throughout the day).

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Finola1step · 03/08/2016 23:39

I like to have a "Live and let live" approach to life. But I find this one tricky. On one hand, Mick Jagger and Co are fathering dc into their 70s. But there is a key difference when both parents are 60+. In fact, I would say if both are 50+ with a newborn, then there is a level of irresponsibility.

None of us know what is around the corner. Any one of us could be run over by a bus tomorrow. But this is more of a deliberate gamble against the odds. I'm sure the child will be loved and cherished by the parents. But to bring a child into the world at such a late stage in life is really quite selfish.

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PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/08/2016 23:44

It's wrong, it's selfish and it's cruel on the child.

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MidniteScribbler · 03/08/2016 23:54

I don't think that having a child at this age is necessary for anyone.

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Bogeyface · 04/08/2016 00:09

I am sorry that she has clearly gone through many years of heartache, but the fact is that at 62, she shouldnt be doing this and the clinic that did the IVF is morally very wrong.

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GDarling · 04/08/2016 00:09

My dad has just died age 92, my youngest sister is only 25, very sad for all, but I feel that she feels the worst, she says that he won't be giving her away at her wedding next year, meet any children she has, be part of her life.
The rest of us have had him around for all of those occasions, very sad for her.
( Yeh! Yeh! I know anyone can die at any age!!)

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ArmySal · 04/08/2016 00:20

Too old, naturally and ethically. IMO, of course.

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Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 04/08/2016 10:46

It's awful. No child wants to watch their parents die. Yes I know that can happen to anyone, but in this case it's an absolute certainly the father will die while the kid is still really young.

What really annoys me is the press coverage. Like the title of this thread it's all blah blah about the woman. Jeez, at least she might have 20 years in her. The father is already beating the odds by being alive at all. Utterly selfish.

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BillSykesDog · 04/08/2016 11:49

I'm having twins (DC 2&3) soon after IVF. I'm finding it hard enough at 37 so can't imagine what it would be like in your 60s. It's very unfair on the child. I hope to have one, maybe 2 more, but I am going to respect the NHS cut off point of 42 regardless of if I could pay elsewhere. I think it's a sensible cut off point both for my health and children's welfare.

One thing that often doesn't get thought of is that someone in their 60s, as well as being a struggle for themselves (my DM is in her 60s and can only manage a week with a 4 year old), they will often lack an effective support network. Friends and siblings often will have no intention of assisting parenting again in their 60s for anyone other than their own children. And grandparents are usually either dead or too infirm.

It really is crazy. Doesn't that British woman who had twins in her 60s really regret it and advise others against it?