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AIBU?

AIBU to think my husband has cheated?

103 replies

lovemycatmorethanmyhusband · 03/08/2016 08:17

I really hope I am being unreasonable! Last night I found a small corner of a condom wrapper on the bathroom floor. Thought this was strange as we haven't used condoms for months (did have plenty left over.) so I looked in the bathroom bin and there was a used condom (hidden in a crisp packet!)

Confronted my husband straight away and he said he'd had a 'posh w**k' ie had used condom to masturbate. (Apologies for the frank language!) I let it go but can't stop thinking about it. AIBU to think he may have cheated? Really hope I am overreacting.

OP posts:

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Pearlman · 03/08/2016 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoinItFine · 03/08/2016 08:24

I don't believe in "posh" wanks.

Why are condoms so unacceptable for sex that men wheedle women into risking pregnancy and STDs by not using them, but enhance a hand shandy?

It is odd that he would throw a used affair condom into your bathroom bin, though.

Is he usually careless and disrespectful?

Penfold007 · 03/08/2016 08:24

If there are no other reasons to be suspicious I think you are overreacting

OneArt · 03/08/2016 08:25

If he has been unfaithful, it's been in your bed and recently! That seems pretty unlikely to me (although not impossible). I'd be inclined to believe him.

CwtchyQ · 03/08/2016 08:25

Sounds legit to me. Why would he bring it home?!

abbinobb · 03/08/2016 08:26

If he'd cheated would he be so stupid as to put it in the bathroom bin though?

c3pu · 03/08/2016 08:27

If he'd been cheating on you surely he'd have covered his tracks better than leaving a used condom and wrapper laying about?

6demandingchildren · 03/08/2016 08:27

I have an 19 and 22 year old sons still at home. I'm home every evening and 1 of them likes a posh wank as I find wrappers. Apparently it saves on friction burns and easier to clean up.

acasualobserver · 03/08/2016 08:28

A wank followed by a bag of crisps? You should be grateful that he has such modest desires.

OneArt · 03/08/2016 08:28

Not all men hate condoms, Doin.

SquidgyRedBall · 03/08/2016 08:28

Any other suspicious behaviour? How was he when you asked him?

My DH has done this before as he said he couldn't be bothered to clean up the mess.

If this is the only thing then and when you asked him he acted normal then I would be inclined to believe him.

RestlessTraveller · 03/08/2016 08:29

I agree that you have nothing to worry about, unless you believe that he would be so stupid to conduct an affair in his own home.

davos · 03/08/2016 08:36

Surely there is more to the story?

If you think your dh is having an affair, in your house there must be other things that are making you think he could do this.

lovemycatmorethanmyhusband · 03/08/2016 08:46

Thanks everyone. No other red flags so I'm probably being ridiculous. I'm a pretty anxious person who tends to have obsessive thoughts so once I've got an idea in my head, it's hard to get rid of it! Our marriage is great in all other respects but I just thought it was a bit odd.

OP posts:

TattyCat · 03/08/2016 08:47

I had the exact same reason given 20 years ago and then bf swore he'd had a PW. I later found out that he'd cheated with a mutual friend. She told me.

TattyCat · 03/08/2016 08:48

And he'd chucked it in the bathroom bin too.

Doesn't mean your DH isn't telling the truth though. Just that if it's odd, it's odd.

heron98 · 03/08/2016 08:48

He's hardly going to dispose of it in the bathroom bin if he's cheated, surely he'd be more subtle than that?

It seems odd you would leap to such a huge conclusion. Do you have other reasons not to trust him?

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 03/08/2016 08:56

Well at least be grateful he didn't use a bloomin' sock.

Stillwaitingforthesummer2come · 03/08/2016 09:01

Are socks what teenage boys tend to use? Not looking forward to that stage...

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 03/08/2016 09:13

Tatty

People having affairs frequently tell their partners they are working late or meeting friends, that doesn't mean that everyone saying this is using it as a cover for an affair. In the overwhelming majority of cases they are actually meeting friends or working late.

If the condom was part of a pattern of suspicious behaviour you might have a point, but the op says not.

Chopstick17 · 03/08/2016 09:27

I really don't think he would be so stupid as to bring the used condom home if he had cheated! Could he have cheated in your house? Unless there are other suspicions I think it sounds plausible.

Kellylou78 · 04/09/2016 13:19

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Outtaker · 04/09/2016 13:27

Very likely a PW if no other signs of suspicious behaviour. The very fact that the term 'posh wank' exists and is commonly understood shows the practice isn't particularly uncommon!

Outtaker · 04/09/2016 13:29

Ps they are apparently liked as the man can orgasm free of having to worry where he's spurting!

PurpleNurple69 · 04/09/2016 13:32

Stillwaiting - when my son lived at home I frequently threw 'crispy' socks in the washing machine 😟 Dirty wee bastard 😀

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