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AIBU to think my husband has cheated?

(104 Posts)
lovemycatmorethanmyhusband Wed 03-Aug-16 08:17:36

I really hope I am being unreasonable! Last night I found a small corner of a condom wrapper on the bathroom floor. Thought this was strange as we haven't used condoms for months (did have plenty left over.) so I looked in the bathroom bin and there was a used condom (hidden in a crisp packet!)

Confronted my husband straight away and he said he'd had a 'posh w**k' ie had used condom to masturbate. (Apologies for the frank language!) I let it go but can't stop thinking about it. AIBU to think he may have cheated? Really hope I am overreacting.

Pearlman Wed 03-Aug-16 08:20:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoinItFine Wed 03-Aug-16 08:24:20

I don't believe in "posh" wanks.

Why are condoms so unacceptable for sex that men wheedle women into risking pregnancy and STDs by not using them, but enhance a hand shandy?

It is odd that he would throw a used affair condom into your bathroom bin, though.

Is he usually careless and disrespectful?

Penfold007 Wed 03-Aug-16 08:24:45

If there are no other reasons to be suspicious I think you are overreacting

OneArt Wed 03-Aug-16 08:25:00

If he has been unfaithful, it's been in your bed and recently! That seems pretty unlikely to me (although not impossible). I'd be inclined to believe him.

CwtchyQ Wed 03-Aug-16 08:25:53

Sounds legit to me. Why would he bring it home?!

abbinobb Wed 03-Aug-16 08:26:19

If he'd cheated would he be so stupid as to put it in the bathroom bin though?

c3pu Wed 03-Aug-16 08:27:18

If he'd been cheating on you surely he'd have covered his tracks better than leaving a used condom and wrapper laying about?

6demandingchildren Wed 03-Aug-16 08:27:48

I have an 19 and 22 year old sons still at home. I'm home every evening and 1 of them likes a posh wank as I find wrappers. Apparently it saves on friction burns and easier to clean up.

acasualobserver Wed 03-Aug-16 08:28:15

A wank followed by a bag of crisps? You should be grateful that he has such modest desires.

OneArt Wed 03-Aug-16 08:28:23

Not all men hate condoms, Doin.

SquidgyRedBall Wed 03-Aug-16 08:28:42

Any other suspicious behaviour? How was he when you asked him?

My DH has done this before as he said he couldn't be bothered to clean up the mess.

If this is the only thing then and when you asked him he acted normal then I would be inclined to believe him.

RestlessTraveller Wed 03-Aug-16 08:29:51

I agree that you have nothing to worry about, unless you believe that he would be so stupid to conduct an affair in his own home.

davos Wed 03-Aug-16 08:36:21

Surely there is more to the story?

If you think your dh is having an affair, in your house there must be other things that are making you think he could do this.

lovemycatmorethanmyhusband Wed 03-Aug-16 08:46:05

Thanks everyone. No other red flags so I'm probably being ridiculous. I'm a pretty anxious person who tends to have obsessive thoughts so once I've got an idea in my head, it's hard to get rid of it! Our marriage is great in all other respects but I just thought it was a bit odd.

TattyCat Wed 03-Aug-16 08:47:10

I had the exact same reason given 20 years ago and then bf swore he'd had a PW. I later found out that he'd cheated with a mutual friend. She told me.

TattyCat Wed 03-Aug-16 08:48:07

And he'd chucked it in the bathroom bin too.

Doesn't mean your DH isn't telling the truth though. Just that if it's odd, it's odd.

heron98 Wed 03-Aug-16 08:48:22

He's hardly going to dispose of it in the bathroom bin if he's cheated, surely he'd be more subtle than that?

It seems odd you would leap to such a huge conclusion. Do you have other reasons not to trust him?

blitheringbuzzards1234 Wed 03-Aug-16 08:56:31

Well at least be grateful he didn't use a bloomin' sock.

Stillwaitingforthesummer2come Wed 03-Aug-16 09:01:22

Are socks what teenage boys tend to use? Not looking forward to that stage...

LikeDylanInTheMovies Wed 03-Aug-16 09:13:01


People having affairs frequently tell their partners they are working late or meeting friends, that doesn't mean that everyone saying this is using it as a cover for an affair. In the overwhelming majority of cases they are actually meeting friends or working late.

If the condom was part of a pattern of suspicious behaviour you might have a point, but the op says not.

Chopstick17 Wed 03-Aug-16 09:27:30

I really don't think he would be so stupid as to bring the used condom home if he had cheated! Could he have cheated in your house? Unless there are other suspicions I think it sounds plausible.

Kellylou78 Sun 04-Sep-16 13:19:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Outtaker Sun 04-Sep-16 13:27:12

Very likely a PW if no other signs of suspicious behaviour. The very fact that the term 'posh wank' exists and is commonly understood shows the practice isn't particularly uncommon!

Outtaker Sun 04-Sep-16 13:29:31

Ps they are apparently liked as the man can orgasm free of having to worry where he's spurting!

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