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My friends life is a car crash and I don't know how to help

(2 Posts)
friendinwoe Tue 02-Aug-16 20:50:41

Have name changed for obvious reasons.

My friend is utterly lovely but her life is falling apart, If she was happy I would back her all the way and keep my nose out but she is miserable.

She is one of four siblings, all VERY successful, perfect marriages, 2.4 kids kind of life's. Friend has had depression as long as I have known her and it has contributed to the breakdown of both her marriages by her own admission. She has a great job but not in the same league of her siblings which makes her feel utterly worthless because her parents see her as the black sheep of the family sad

Because she cannot bare to be alone and she is constantly trying to match up to her siblings in her parents eyes she turns from relationship to relationship usually attracting utter arseholes, they are abusive to her, she gets out and then goes back to them because she cannot face being alone. I once did not speak to her for a few weeks after she had fell out with me because myself and a friend were worried about her and when we made up she was engaged to a different man than the one when I had spoken to her last. Her kids regularly have new 'Dads' introduced to them sad

She was with one man for two years and had a daughter with him when we began to suspect something wasn't right, little signs that made us uncomfortable, finally resulting in him introducing her as his friend while out on a night out when he unexpectedly bumped into some colleagues although he made some excuse afterwards (they were engaged and she was heavily pregnant at the time). She found out that he was married, they split up, she brought up her girls alone and then he convinced her he had left his wife even though this was bull and we all warned her so she still went back to him and he played her again leaving her rock bottom again.

She is currently in an horrendous relationship, she got out of it, had legal help from women's aid, got a restraining order, got legal aid and help to prevent him seeing her daughter but got scared and has now gone back to him again because she is scared of being alone and also scared she won't be able to protect her daughter from him if she doesn't.

I have no idea what to do anymore. I want to protect her but I also want to protect her kids.

OreosAreTasty Tue 02-Aug-16 20:58:51

I'm afraid you and women's aid have done all you can.
Phone social services. Please

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