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AIBU?

To think this is not a fucking cafe?

197 replies

calamityjam · 02/08/2016 18:05

I am getting so fed up of children and food likes/dislikes. I have 3 dc's at home ds2 age 15, dd age 13 and ds3 age 8. Every time I make a meal or buy food recently one of them says "Oh mum you know I hate that". It is getting ridiculous now, I have to make seperate meals without sweetcorn or ham or whatever else they won't eat. Last week dd was the only child at home for tea so I offered her 6 options for tea, all of which were refused and she sulked in her room for hours until I felt bad and ordered her a takeaway because she hadn't eaten all day. Cereal is a joke. Every single one I buy, one child will not eat it. They all like weetabix but say they are getting fed up with it now. I have a list of about 10 meals which they will all eat but are not very cheap to make. Any ideas gratefully accepted.

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Noonesfool · 02/08/2016 18:07

My idea would be not ordering a take away when 6 different options had been rather rudely rejected. Or, indeed, offering 6 options in the first place....

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Amelie10 · 02/08/2016 18:08

The problem is entirely your fault for pandering to each individual child's fussiness. Why did you offer her 6 options and then order a takeaway.

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humblesims · 02/08/2016 18:08

Heres an idea. Offer them food. One option. They eat it or they go hungry or cook their own meals.

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BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 02/08/2016 18:08

Get ingredients in and let them cook their own. At 13 and 15 they are old enough. The 8 year old would need help. Make sure they wash up afterwards, as well.

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goldface · 02/08/2016 18:08

As above.

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Snowflakes1122 · 02/08/2016 18:09

Ugh. Yanbu. I got his all the time. Three fussy kids and having to cook three meals.
In the end I decided no options, they just got what I made. After sulks they would have it (reheated in the microwave)
No offers of pudding or alternatives. You aren't running a restaurant.

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MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 02/08/2016 18:09

Let them make their own but don't buy them special stuff

I cook one meal, toast and fruit always available if you don't want it, certainly no take away.

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RichardBucket · 02/08/2016 18:10

What are the things they'll all eat? Maybe we can come up with new ideas.

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HereIAm20 · 02/08/2016 18:11

Sorry to be harsh but more fool you. There are 2 options here - take it or leave it! 🍲

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arethereanyleftatall · 02/08/2016 18:11

My idea is for you to say ' tough.'

I would never order a takeaway under the circumstances you detail.

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Afreshstartplease · 02/08/2016 18:12

I find it better to have more than one type of cereal in at once, my three will rarely all want the same breakfast

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FeckinCrutches · 02/08/2016 18:13

Make them sit down together and write a list of seven meals that they will all eat. Give them cookbooks if need be. I did this with my three and it worked a treat!

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2410ang · 02/08/2016 18:14

Mine get no options fussy eater or not! You get what you're given, if you don't like it you can have toast/yoghurt/fruit/cereal!

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SavoyCabbage · 02/08/2016 18:14

Clear your kitchen of all snacks. Including cereal. Buy one cereal. Weetabix or porridge.

Cook one meal per meal time. Serve it. Don't talk about who likes or doesn't like it.

After a week, have a family meeting about meals. What one meal are you going to have on what day. Meal plan as a family. If the meeting disintegrates, do another week of doing meals of your choice.

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calamityjam · 02/08/2016 18:14

A friend has suggested that I get them to write down the food that they genuinely hate (Which realistically should only be a couple of things each) and them as others have said eat or leave. Their nan makes them whatever they want, ut that is because their dad (her son) died a few years ago so she does spoil them, which I can understand but it doesn't help me.

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PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2016 18:15

Last week dd was the only child at home for tea so I offered her 6 options for tea, all of which were refused and she sulked in her room for hours until I felt bad and ordered her a takeaway because she hadn't eaten all day.

You are rewarding her for refusing to eat from a reasonable of food. What are you teaching her by pandering to her like this?

I agree with others-you need to toughen up your food choices at home. Maybe agree a menu at the beginning of the week (or everyone chooses one dinner meal) and stick to it. Be prepared for whinging or going to bed hungry (offer to let them make themselves toast/cereal/yoghurt if they refuse dinner).

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MadSprocker · 02/08/2016 18:15

Get them involved.

Your 15 and 13 year old can be in charge of one dinner a week. They could even work out how much it costs. If they won't help, cook what you want to cook, and tough!

I know I am going to have a battle tonight as we are eating curry and rice, and my ds10 doesn't like rice. He has to put up with it because the rest of us do. Tomorrow I will make something more palatable for him.

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RichardBucket · 02/08/2016 18:16

Buy one cereal.

Do you only leave yourself one breakfast option or do you like a choice? Hmm

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Ellybellyboo · 02/08/2016 18:17

I get sick of constant whingeing about likes and dislikes.

I have 2 kids and they never seem to like the same thing

I'm not running a cafe though. I'll make reasonable adjustments - ie, DD2 doesn't like roast potatoes so if we're having a roast she'll have plain boiled or mash but I'm not pissing about.

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minisoksmakehardwork · 02/08/2016 18:17

The answer is not to offer 6 options and then get a takeaway anyway.

Mine have different levels of fussiness. Ds1 is the biggest pita but all it means is we do stick to the same routine of meals. It might bore me but they eat it and I can always whip up something else along similar lines for dh and I.

I swap things rather than do completely different meals, and on days when any of the Dc aren't home for dinner I'll cook the meal that the missing one won't eat.

So I'll swaps baked beans for peas or sweet corn. carrot is done raw for those who won't eat cooked. Meat is always the same but I might put a lot less out for the one(s) who are fussy about it. We did go through a stage of giving ds1 dippers as meat with every meal and the remainder was the same as everyone else. But we stopped that when dts arrived as it ended up too much hassle.

We're now moving on to the Dc helping to prepare and cook it. They seem to eat better for having helped. Might be worth a try for you. The older 2 should certainly be able to prepare and cook a meal themselves.

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calamityjam · 02/08/2016 18:18

They do have a choice for breakfast, One box of cereal will only last a couple of days, but they can always help themselves to toast with jam, cream cheese and fruit.

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 02/08/2016 18:19

This is a situation of your making - why did you get her a takeaway?? You need to parent rather than pander. Get them to write down what they don't like, then cook and if they won't eat it they can have fruit and toast.

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ayeokthen · 02/08/2016 18:20

I used to do this, was like a bloody restaurant in the evenings until about a week ago I exploded and said enough is enough. You eat what I make or you don't eat. I don't obviously put out things I know they hate, but my days of pandering are done. Eat it or don't, I don't care. Funnily enough after 2 days I've had clean plates every night! It wasn't just that that made me explode, it was general manners and treating me like a feckin maid. But then I was allowing it wasn't I? They'll not starve op, but they will learn not to treat you like shit.

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TroysMammy · 02/08/2016 18:21

Did this pandering happen in the '70's and '80's? Like it or lump it was the quote from my Mother. All 4 of us ate the same food at each meal. My Mother would make cawl with dumplings and put carrots in it. She doesn't like carrots but tolerated them because the rest of us liked them and it gave the meal some colour.

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BodsAuntieFlo · 02/08/2016 18:21

If any of my 4 didn't like what I'd cooked, tough. No way would I have been cooking separate meals. There was always bread, cold meats, cheeses etc in the fridge and they could sort themselves out if they didn't want to eat what was on offer.

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