Or am I indeed the worlds meanest mum?(61 Posts)
My children have been off school 1 week and 2 days, they have so far spent every day "chilling" on the sofa and playing Xbox with friends.
The bickering has got worse and worse until today I marched in and turned it off and yoke them both to go outside.
But they're bored, there's nothing to do, no ones around (we have no local kids) etc etc etc.
I'm fed up of them being entertained by screen alone, there's no where local to go that doesn't cost ££££ r they've deemed babyish or boring so I've told them they can make their own entertainment until it's time to pick DS3 up from holiday club.
They're 9 and 11 (v.nearly 10 and 12) and I'm fed up of them moping and moaning about the house expecting to be spoon fed entertainment or screen time.
For what its worth DS1 has a scout camp 4 days this week and tomorrow they're both off out with our community support team for the afternoon.
I've been declared the meanest mum in the world and DS1 had muttered that it's akin to child abuse
I would say it is somewhat mean if there is nothing else for them to do.
I'd guess at 10 and 12 they're a bit beyond make-believe games etc. What is available for them to do away from screens? Do you have plenty of art/ craft etc supplies be are you happy for them to do may activities like painting/ cooking etc? Have you got lots of 2-player board games or taught them 2-player card games? Is there anything to do as a pair outside in the nearby vicinity.
It's fine to expect kids to entertain themselves if there's stuff to entertain themselves with but not if there isn't. What do you do in your spare time?
I am wondering if I have multiple personality disorder as I could have easily written the OP.
I got moaned at because I refused to let DS onto the computer on Sunday when it was a beautiful sunny day. We have a large trampoline in the garden, they could have gone out the front (we live in a culdesac) but no, they wanted to be plugged in all day.
Tell them if they are bored you will find them jobs to do.
Bet they won't be so bored then
My are basically the same age. I have set up one or two activities each morning and they can take it or leave it. Quite often if the younger on starts (I have three!) the other two join in. But I am lucky in hat they seem to self limit on screens and they tend to go outside for a few hours and jump on the trampoline, kick a football. My middle also has one friend that calls around to go out and play.
Have you got something they can download Pokemon go on?
Why can't you take them out? Park, bike ride, library, museum, geocaching, Pokemon hunting, to a friends etc etc. If it wS my school hols and I just sat on the sofa for a week I would be bored and bickering too.there is tonnes of stuff in for kids in the hols.
Yes, they get showered with gifts at Christmas and birthdays, they have books, paper, crafts, board games, balls, etc etc etc.
We have a play park they can walk too and a copse to explore.
It's been raining this morning (but isn't now) they could go and stomp out their energy in puddles (maybe too old for that now?)
They wanted to go bowling and pay from their banks but they can't go without an adult and I have a baby to get to sleep, DS3 to collect and a house to tidy/dinner to make.
There is things to do they just don't want to do them because it takes effort and imagination, I feel bad that we don't live somewhere with lots of other kids to hang out with but I can't stand the sniping and bitching at each other they do when plonked in front of the screen.
What did they do last summer or the one before? Is there precedent for this laziness this summer, as in have you hanged the rules where before there were no rules re: screen time?
I don't think screen time is that bad, but if they're getting crabby I would definitely be taking them swimming, on a long walk, to visit friends/family because clearly they need a change of pace. I'd be making sure they have a big drink too and some fruit, they probably have headaches, and a lot of physical activity so they have an early night.
Try to alternate days, one day in with screens where you can get stuff done, one day out away from the Xbox?
They have taken my phone out to Pokemon go on although the battery won't last long. We don't have any museums or similar here to take them too and they have all the books they could ever want to read so a library isn't going to cut it. We have had lots of their friends over already and certainly will do again.
They don't have working bikes so we can't bike ride and I don't have a bike or a baby seat for DD, I also have things to do at home during the day because I work in the evening.
I'm glad mine aren't the only ones having a moan.
We do have lots planned this holidays and we still have 2 family breaks to go in this year (including Florida for Christmas but they don't know about that yet!) it's the infill days that they struggle with.
I'll have to make a plan I think, get the to help me list out all the things we can do to during the rest of the holidays.
They sound bored stiff. I do think you could take them out to do something, anything. Fly a kite, do a nature trail, get the bikes fixed, whatever. One week and 2 days on the sofa does sound a bit dull.
Do they like arty things? My mum used to get me to make birthday and Christmas cards for people in advance. I loved it and they were sweet when I was little and actually quite good when I was a bit older (if I do say so myself). Or maybe baking or making fudge or honeycomb something for birthday presents or if anyone's sick and needs cheering up or maybe to give to neighbours, or just to eat obviously.
I'm not sure on this whole "children should play outside and just use their imaginations!" thing, I think I'd be a bit annoyed if I got booted outside when it was muddy and had been raining with no ability to even go to something I'd paid for myself, with no friends living nearby.
IS there really no local kids? My DC are similar age and sounds like we have similar surroundings. I periodically throw them out the house. At the weekend they spent several hours building a den in the woods (reads - not particularly big clump of trees) with some random other children that happened to be about. The next day said children came and knocked for them ...
Have not RTFT but if you are, then I am, too
At the start of the hols, I made a list with a column per child. I put I a few activities and they put in the rest . Sone things are specific and ejucashunul, like a visit to a specific museum, or to read a certain book. My dd's are vague: 'bake' lol!
I refer them to said list when they are bored, or I tell them that they will be going to childcare camp next year. Their choice! Amazingly successful so far....
What did kids do before screen time? I was a child of the 80s so no screens and honestly can't remember beyond building dens and cops + robbers but you need other kids for that. I think I read a lot and recall spending hours in the garden trying to make apple juice or apple perfume (???) out of sour little apples on the tree. If you had the time could you lay a treasure hunt out one evening for them to do the next day? Little clues leading to a new spot - ours used to end with the washing machine where my mum would have hidden a packet of crisps each.
I think my son might have been at the same cub camp.
Was it the Sussex 100?
Mine are bored out their brain as well.
No there isn't any local kids, they have 1 friend from school that lives a short drive away but it isn't safe to walk there, there is a boy that comes to visit every other week as his dad lives here, everyone else either has babies and toddlers or are pensioners.
Our local town is a 10 min train journey or a 15 min drive, DS will de doing the journey in Sep to highschool but I wouldn't trust him to take ds2 with him, I don't mind dropping them at the cinema and I can take them for a swim but not right now..
This are is crap for families, there isn't even a shop to walk too, we live backed into a train station and we have a tiny play park and that's it unless you drive somewhere.
We have a giant trampoline, we have loads of stuff but they don't want to do it. I'm pretty sure IANBU
Last few summers they've been booked into sports clubs but they didn't want to go this time.
At 10 and 12 they need entertaining not just throwing outside. It's not their fault the area they live in or the fact younger siblings means less time/stops them from going places.
Don't they read? Do crafts? Imaginary play?
At that age my sister and I would have been doing nature study with books from the library, learning to garden, making "forts" with blankets in the garden, being "detectives" with little notepads and such, playing "office," writing "plays and books" and otherwise amusing ourselves for hours on end. We didn't even had a TV at the cottage where we spent most of our summers, nor even a reliable radio. I would worry if my kids were so dependent on passive entertainment as to literally feel there was "nothing to do" with a screen turned off.
Gosh they should have tons to do that doesn't require money or a television
have they got a ball? Puzzles? books? crayons? a garden? outside? sticks? shoes on their feet? Then they should be fine, wherever they are, there's always something to do.
parents definitely don't have to be the ones organising the "entertainment" either. let the kids do that. That's what we all did, surely?
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