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To feel sorry for my colleague's daughter?

(4 Posts)
Elena567 Tue 02-Aug-16 14:03:13

Colleague has 17 year old dd here at work this week for work experience. From what my colleague has told me, her dd hasn't done much in the last year since leaving school. She left school early due to bulling and seems to have low self steem/shyness.

She visited her local college last week to enroll on a 2 year Personal training and Exercise NVQ course, as she likes to go to the junior gym at her leisure centre. Her mum seems totally against the idea of her going into further education, and keeps urging her to apply for full times roles such a waitressing, shop work etc, and always mentions about her moving out and getting a little flat. She was filling out her college forms today and heard her snaps "2 years?! When are you going to start making money?"

Just now I've heard my colleague tell her daughter that if you're a maid in a hotel in a larger city, some places have dorms for them to live in which can save a lot of living expenses confused

Her mum had to go into further education to be in the role she is in now, so I can't understand why she doesn't want her to better herself. She seems to want her to move out.

chough Tue 02-Aug-16 14:07:49

Poor girl.
What a shame that your colleague isn't doing all she can to encourage her daughter in her personal career ambitions, instead of chipping away further at her self-esteem.
You must feel frustrated, having to listen to that.

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Aug-16 14:10:50

You'll know nothing about what has been said/discussed in great detail at home though.

On the face of it I can see why you feel sorry for her, but often these things are deep and personal.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 02-Aug-16 14:41:53

It does rather sound like her mum (your colleague) is extremely keen for her DD to move out and stand on her own 2 feet, but you can only conjecture the reasons for that. They might clash dreadfully at home (my sister left home at 18 because of the clashes with my mum); or maybe your colleague is a single mum and wants to have some freedom, or has a new boyfriend (an ex of my brother's was in this situation - had to pretend she was the lodger so her mum didn't have to admit to her being her DD, which is shocking); or perhaps her mum just wants her to stand on her own 2 feet because she feels she needs to grow up.

Hard to say without knowing far more about their personal lives than seems likely.

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