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to kidnap DS2?

(206 Posts)
RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 07:31:28

and take him to University visits?
Or even just the city he's applied to go?

I think he's made a mistake and, I know it's non of my business as he's an adult (19) and all that but ......

NatureCreatesFreaks Tue 02-Aug-16 07:35:15

Which uni has he chosen?
Do you need to kidnap him? Can't you suggest a day trip or is he not willing?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 02-Aug-16 07:36:54

Made a mistake with his choices do you mean?

Euphemia Tue 02-Aug-16 07:37:00

Has he never been there? Why do you think it's a mistake?

VioletBam Tue 02-Aug-16 07:40:38

Why didn;t he visit any? And why do you think he's made a mistake?

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 07:42:38

I don't really want to say where it is but no, he's never been there or anywhere near it and I don't think he will like it.

I've suggested visits many times but he won't go. We have time over the summer as I'm off too - even just visit the area would be good.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 02-Aug-16 07:43:27

Can you flesh this out a bit?

Is he starting in September, assuming he gets his grades?

Euphemia Tue 02-Aug-16 07:44:02

He has to visit! He can't commit himself to several years of his life without having seen the place!

What's his subject?

defineme Tue 02-Aug-16 07:45:44

Could you suggest paying for him and a friend to go? Or tickets for a gig or something in the area? If you tell us why it wouldn't be right we could make better suggestions.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Tue 02-Aug-16 07:46:11

I would, I assume that you e pointed out that he's going to be paying for this degree for many years to come and he wants to make most of the time he has there. I went, and had a ball, but if I'd gone to my parents first choice I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much. Why does he have his heart set on going there?

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 07:46:31

Yes - he's starting this year (grades permitting)

He goes on holiday a week today and gets back the day of the results!

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 02-Aug-16 07:48:32

Why don't you like it?

NatureCreatesFreaks Tue 02-Aug-16 07:49:35

Why di you think he won't like it?

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 07:50:26

We have talked about it at length as has his older brother who has already been to Uni. His younger brother has been visiting Uni's too - open days etc.

He's laid back. 2 of his friends are going there so he's taken the easy option.

I could be wrong - he may love it when he gets there obviously

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Tue 02-Aug-16 07:50:45

Just suggest s day trip. You have to say where though. It may be more your prejudice than his poor choice.

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 07:53:47

I'm not saying I don't like it but I think he's been influenced by others and needs to see it for himself.

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 08:00:24

I will put on the pressure today.
He's definitely reactive and not proactive

Euphemia Tue 02-Aug-16 08:01:02

Is it the city you don't like? The uni? Its reputation?

RudyMentary Tue 02-Aug-16 08:02:32

The City.

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF Tue 02-Aug-16 08:03:55

Going waaaay back, I didn't get many offers of uni places (OK, two blush) and my mum decided that one of them ( the one I preferred) was 'out of the question' because it was a well-known port and I might get taken advantage of by 'sailors'(?! She was tad over-protective.....). I went to the other one nearer home and hated it. I think it would be sensible if he at least looked at the place, but if he has friends going too, it may help him through Freshers Week, etc. Is it the city you don't like or the reputation of the university itself?

BigGreenOlives Tue 02-Aug-16 08:04:07

My friend's son had never been to the city he ended up in & lasted nearly 2 years then dropped out. He needs to see where he might be spending £55k, he'd test drive a car wouldn't he & this is a far bigger deal than a car.

junebirthdaygirl Tue 02-Aug-16 08:04:07

If he is laid back he probably will like it and if he has one or two friends for the early days that will be a help. Is the course a good fit for him? That is far more important than the actual place itself.

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF Tue 02-Aug-16 08:04:40

Sorry x post.

Euphemia Tue 02-Aug-16 08:04:51

You're going to have to tell us. grin

Then you will have the opinions of 100 Mumsnetters who have lived there, studied there, etc!

VioletBam Tue 02-Aug-16 08:05:22

Well he has to make his own mistakes OP. Can you tell us which city? Perhaps we can allay your fears?

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