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What do you wish you'd known at 40?

(56 Posts)
spad Mon 01-Aug-16 23:48:29

I have not long turned 40 and am feeling a lot bit lost. Really just looking for a kick up the bum and inspiration if you please...


BillyNotQuiteNoMates Mon 01-Aug-16 23:51:06

That life isn't over. I've just jacked my job in and am going to retrain because I think if I don't do it now, I never will (but I've got a few years on you, so you've got plenty of time)

Griphook Tue 02-Aug-16 00:01:56

To put myself first (after dc) because every other fucker does

Birdsgottafly Tue 02-Aug-16 00:06:07

Make the most of drinking, over 45, alcohol becomes less of a friend.

Appreciate your hair, the menopause does make a difference.

My middle 40's, were a time that I could start to do all the things I had wanted to. It depends on the age of your children, or course.

spad Tue 02-Aug-16 00:11:26

I have three very young children!

happyandsingle Tue 02-Aug-16 00:12:57

to live your life for you not to make other people happy.

curlywurlylover Tue 02-Aug-16 00:14:44

Following my kids will be teenagers when I'm 40 want some ideas

Bettercallsaul1 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:19:25

Oh, I'll tell you when I get there... chance would be a fine thing

Baileysagain Tue 02-Aug-16 00:19:48

To realise you are only forty and you still look great and can be who you want....not like the olden days!

pictish Tue 02-Aug-16 00:31:42

Reading with interest. I am 40 - will be 41 in September. I want this to be a positive and productive time in my life - I'd love to know what women wish they'd known at 40.

StillMedusa Tue 02-Aug-16 00:31:53

That it's FINE smile
That you give less of a shit about what other people think with every passing year...and it's great!
That you can start to find some independence and YOU time.. whether that's job, or hobbies (I have taken up two new ones on my 40s)

That your body will start to ache a lot more, and your teeth will suddenly be funding your dentist's retirement :/

You start to be grateful for your health and life I think.

Lorelei76 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:34:52

i am 40

There's things I wish I'd known at 25 but I'm okay with what I know now....but I'll keep this thread on watch in case I've missed something?

EssexMummy1234 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:35:35

aha, i to am about to turn 40 - Billy what are you retraining in?

MadamDeathstare Tue 02-Aug-16 00:39:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsKite Tue 02-Aug-16 00:47:33

I'm in my early 40s but have much less patience for annoying/boring/horrible people now. I wish I had known earlier how liberated I'd feel to not have to pander to people I basically don't like much. I know that's not what you asked but just thought I'd mention it anyway grin

user1470089614 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:52:51

Get ready for the peri menopause, enjoy eating without getting heartburn, enjoy your children whilst they are still living with you and look forward to the excitement and enjoyment of the ride of life to come.

ItsABanana Tue 02-Aug-16 01:01:14

Following, I turn 40 next year... grin

The independence and you time I'm finally starting to get back a little. The two kids are slowly but surely growing up, and I have me time again.
Enjoying going out by myself when they're at school, doing things for me such as the occasional restaurant lunch or whatever!

ItsABanana Tue 02-Aug-16 01:05:16

I'm in my early 40s but have much less patience for annoying/boring/horrible people now

I've found this the older I get too. I've always been a complete people pleaser, and totally non confrontational.
Still am non confrontational, but I seriously can't be arsed with putting up with your shit if you're being horrible or annoying.
I'm far more likely to pull you up on it or walk away and leave you to it. grin

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Tue 02-Aug-16 01:36:34

I'm only turning 42 this month so there's not much I didn't know 2 years ago.

Apart from how much fun tap dancing is! I started classesa few months ago and absolutely love it!
After the first lesson I said to DH: "Where the hell has tap dancing been in all my life? How did I not discover this decades ago?!"
It did make me wish I could go back and start dancing when I was 4, but then realised, again, that regret is a waste of time.
So now I'm just grateful tap dancing and I found each other while I still have decades of fun ahead of me (hopefully) - our teacher is 72 after all and way more agile than me!

I've also recently learnt about a technique on how to change negative inner thoughts into positive ones.
It's a small change of saying "I'd like to" instead of "I should/should have" but it's a powerful one.
For example:
"I would like to lose weight" makes me feel that I can, however "I should lose weight" which makes me want to empty the biscuit tin!
Try it & feel the difference.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Tue 02-Aug-16 01:48:05

Oh and Bullet Journal, a fantastic system to get organised.
If only it had existed when I was a teenager!
Started in Feb, I'm so much more focused now. It's been a massive help

CheshireDing Tue 02-Aug-16 06:40:29

I turned 40 last month and honestly can't even say it at the moment. I am sure I was only 26 the other day. Feeling a bit odd about it at the moment sad

I can't say I am getting life back at the moment either as have a newborn and 2 under 5's and surviving on little sleep so look atrocious. Also the baby weight doesn't seem to be going as quickly as the other 2 times (and I went very skinny the other times) sob sad

Sorry not very helpful at all, I can't think of anything I wish I had known (possibly due to lack of sleep).

Hoping for inspiration from others grin

timelytess Tue 02-Aug-16 06:45:13

That my late fifties would be fabulous.
About Martin Hayes.
That forty is young. I know this because my child, hardly out of babyhood, is 34... grin

Henrysmycat Tue 02-Aug-16 06:57:38

It's not so much as inspiration but an anecdote that happened to me a few months before my 40th birthday.
My 40's were breathing down my neck and having been blessed in the looks department, I found the aging process difficult.
We live in Surrey area and we decided to lift my mood, to go for a walk in Watts Gallery and visit the chapel. It was Christmas time.
Still mopping, I was walking in the graveyard alone only to find a lady's grave with a similar birthday to mine (minus a few days) that had died at 32 with a long list of people that were missing her. It was an unbelievable wake up call. I'm 42 and still remember the moment in time, the whole incident.
I have been there many times and a few times, I brought flowers. I have combed the graveyard 10's of times. I still can't find her grave. I don't know what to make of it but for me that 'meeting' changed me.
I guess, I finally grew up. smile

Moonraker37 Tue 02-Aug-16 07:11:40

Watching with interest. I turn 40 this year!

Euphemia Tue 02-Aug-16 07:23:30

Well I'm 50 this month and my entire 40s have been plagued by the menopause. I should have acted sooner to try to sort my symptoms out.

It's also been my fattest decade. I just cannot shift weight any more.

Enjoy! hmm

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