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How annoyed would you be

(94 Posts)
Pixienott0005 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:33:58

Ok this legitimately isn't a situation I am in, my sister has been texting me on and off all day about a big fat family feud that has arisen, and I'm wondering what others make of it. Her son (my nephew) was 1 Thursday. Wednesday's her mil looks after her son for 1 day.

My sister collects him from mil house to find the place covered in banners, one of those big 1 helium balloons, more helium balloons, normal balloons every where etc. Her mil told her that her and her SIL had a party for her son and they had a cake and everything.

My sister is irritated as she's saying it is mainly a special milestone for her and her little family. Also kind of takes the specialness out of what her and her partner were going to do on her sons actual birthday on the Thursday. Her mil has just gone and done it all before hand. Plus there was a family party on Saturday where we all celebrated anyway.

Bit much or?

Shizzlestix Mon 01-Aug-16 22:36:19

Mil has taken the piss, but TBH, the DC won't have a clue, so SIL needn't worry. It's a bit nasty of mil, tho, it is his first birthday, naturally his mum wants this 'first'.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 01-Aug-16 22:36:32

He was 1, he won't have a clue

2410ang Mon 01-Aug-16 22:37:15

Personally I would be annoyed! First birthday party has to be one of the most special milestones. Granted said baby will have no memory of it but that's not the point really. At the very least it would have been best to check in with baby's parents before going ahead!!

Pixienott0005 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:37:18

That's what I'm thinking costa. Not sure if it's worth the agg.

EveOnline2016 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:37:49

I am a lax parent but this would really upset me, because a mile stone was celebrated without me.

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 01-Aug-16 22:37:52

Crazy thing for MIL to do but as the others said he won't know, she should just make sure dh puts a stop to any similar crap next year.

Nocabbageinmyeye Mon 01-Aug-16 22:38:06

On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being very annoyed I'd be an 11 which reads "fucking kill her annoyed". That's not an over excited granny, that's total thunder stealing

littlepeas Mon 01-Aug-16 22:40:04

Yes, I would be extremely annoyed in that situation.

Nocabbageinmyeye Mon 01-Aug-16 22:40:59

No he won't have a clue that's true but it would majorly piss me off, not even because it's a first or anything, I just think it's a sneaky and very weird thing to host a party for a child that's not yours the day before their birthday and not invite said childs parents

BertrandRussell Mon 01-Aug-16 22:41:08

Bonkers thing to do. Seriously bonkers.

But hey ho, people are bonkers. Particularly people in love. And babies can't have too many parties.

And saying "my little family" puts you automatically in the wrong.

edwinbear Mon 01-Aug-16 22:42:47

I'd be pretty pissed off about that.

Katy92 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:43:07

She's annoyed the cake/balloons ruined the actual birthday but gave him cake and balloons on Saturday before his birthday at a party and it was fine then?

I think I'd just be glad they we're excited. I completely get where she's coming from but it's his 1st birthday! The more excited people the better surely? Unless they have previous for being malicious?

At the end of the day, he won't be able to remember it, let alone who done what in years to come!

Katy92 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:44:58

Just reread 'she told her she has a party, cake and everything' and that does sound a bit bonkers.

I'd be annoyed, but probably wouldn't start a tiff over it..

Ameliablue Mon 01-Aug-16 22:46:17

Is not a milestone though is it. It wasn't the child's actual birthday and a one year old has no clue. The mil probably just thought as she was minding the child that day, it would be nice to do something. It shouldn't impact on the mother at all.

bakeoffcake Mon 01-Aug-16 22:48:00

I'd be very annoyed but as he's only one he won't remember. Just make sure there are lots of photos on his real birthday.

HarpyFishwifeTwat Mon 01-Aug-16 22:48:03

Would the MIL not have assumed that the family party the previous weekend was the "big" celebration? She was just having her own hoopla after the main event?

Witchend Mon 01-Aug-16 22:48:58

No that's totally off. I'm not precious on making cakes/parties etc. but if the mil thought it was fine she would have said beforehand.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Mon 01-Aug-16 22:49:10

I'd be over the moon if someone had given mine a party, I never saw the point of a first birthday party, or even a second to be honest.

RubbleBubble00 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:49:31

I would be absolutely fuming, completely over stepping the mark. Completely weird she had her won party without the parents. I'd be telling sister to send dh over to deal

BackforGood Mon 01-Aug-16 22:49:48

I can see why she's a bit upset, as it sounds a bit bonkers, but, as everyone else has said, a 1 yr old won't have a clue about it, so it's not worth getting worked up about.

DancingPenguin1 Mon 01-Aug-16 22:51:13

My mum did this for my dd's 2nd birthday. Full on themed party with homemade cake. We couldn't do a party as we were mid move. I was devastated. Didn't say anything though as dd clearly had fun. However when mum mentioned she was planning the same this year I asked her not to and explained how upset I was to be excluded last year. She's not doing it now (hopefully).

WorraLiberty Mon 01-Aug-16 22:52:21

Just sounds like a photo opportunity to me.

I couldn't get worked up about it.

proudnewMNaddict Mon 01-Aug-16 22:52:45

Who has a first birthday party for a child without telling the parents?
That is very weird and I'd be fucking fuming at the sheer underhandedness of it

myownprivateidaho Mon 01-Aug-16 22:54:35

I could kind of see where she was coming from if they hadn't already had the party on Saturday. But they did, so mil hadn't taken away a first. She just did an extra celebration. Seems fine to me.

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