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AIBU or is my DH (housekeeping related)

(54 Posts)
Gardenbirds123 Mon 01-Aug-16 20:49:38

I am SAHM with DC 2.5 and 6mo
During day I do childcsre and all house chores shopping washing tidying cleaning cooking etc no probs. we have big house (5bed 4bath) and no cleaner.

Laundry room is on ground floor.
All bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs except an DS loo.

As I clean and tidy I sort things into piles eg 6mo clothes, 2.5 yo toys etc, then put sorted piles on stairs to take up as and when I go upstairs.

I put each pile on a different step so they don't get mixed up agin. I put them On very side of step so still 60cm or so of free step to walk up and down.

I never go up without a pile, unless im carrying the baby. As at the moment I am quite often carrying the baby, on a given day there can be anything from no steps to four or five steps with piles on. It's usually less than two but today particularly bad as back from holiday so loads of washing.

I try to put away any piles I haven't managed during day once kids asleep (doesn't always happen as want winegrin)

My DH said I'm making a death trap and I should take things up immediately

I said this is my method and the only way I get things done. And pointed out he never carries a pile up, even though never carrying anythkng and even if it is a pile of his clean washing.

He said I am just being lazy,

Who is being unfair

MotherKat Mon 01-Aug-16 20:51:52

He's not being unfair, he's being an asshole.

Flisspaps Mon 01-Aug-16 20:55:08

Tell him to stop being a cock, perhaps if he bothered his arse to help then there's be less stuff on the stairs

Also, if you stop doing his laundry, that's one less pile to add to the 'death trap'.

Missgraeme Mon 01-Aug-16 20:55:45

Tell him to pay for an ironing lady who can put it ALL away!!

ShotsFired Mon 01-Aug-16 20:57:21

I'm pretty sure a "lazy" wife would not be arsed to do any of her husband's laundry for weeks on end.

YelloDraw Mon 01-Aug-16 20:57:32

Say, you're right DH, it IS a death trap. How kind of you to put it all away as soon as you get home in the evening. Lovely.

NapQueen Mon 01-Aug-16 20:57:43

Stuff put on stairs is a deathtrap. But he is an absolute cocktail using this to claim you are lazy. That seriously could not be farther from the truth.

The only alternative I would suggest is a unit with buckets in at the bottom of the steps and stuff put into the appropriate bucket to be carried up.

I'd leave all of his stuff well alone. He can do it himself.

Does he have days where he looks after the whole lot?

HeCantBeSerious Mon 01-Aug-16 20:57:51

That's my system too. HIBU.

Phillipa12 Mon 01-Aug-16 20:58:14

He is being unfair and lazy, i do this and my now exdh never carried a pile up the stairs either he just used to walk around it ( he even stepped over a deliberately placed full basket of ironing that i left on the bottom step when 8 months pregnant!) Even my 7 year old will carry a pile up when we go up!

fieldfare Mon 01-Aug-16 21:00:47

He's being a bit of a dick about it.
How about a compromise, he buys some of those baskets that sit over the bend in the step? One for each person. Nice and tidy, no tripping hazards and he can take them up too, especially his own.

Snowflakes1122 Mon 01-Aug-16 21:00:59

I do this all the time. Also have a 5 bed house that's quite large and three DCs to tidy up after.

At your children's ages, it's hard enough to leave them alone long enough to empty the washing machine as it is!

Think you should book a day out with the girls and let him have a day in your shoes.

howtofixme Mon 01-Aug-16 21:02:16

We do this and who ever goes up takes a pile up with them and puts in the right room, it means not running up and down the stairs every five minutes and in all of the years we have been doing it, not one person has had an unfortunate accident or slipped or tripped on anything. Families help each other out, we certainly do not expect one person to take care of everything. he is being unreasonable.

SecretLimonadeDrinker Mon 01-Aug-16 21:04:11

My mum always had that system, worked for our family.

Hibu and an arse.

CodyKing Mon 01-Aug-16 21:05:19

Go one step further (lol) and say anything remaining on the stairs that's his goes in the bin instead - no lazy - he's an arse

UnexpectedBaggage Mon 01-Aug-16 21:05:33

Another vote for he's an arse.

Gardenbirds123 Mon 01-Aug-16 21:06:31

I bloody love mumsnet halo

justabigdisco Mon 01-Aug-16 21:07:12

I can top that - not only does my husband not take the stuff upstairs, he removes it from the stairs and puts it on the floor in the hallway (at bottom of stairs) 'in case someone trips' FFS

altiara Mon 01-Aug-16 21:08:46

I do that and my DH and DCs walk straight on past angry you are not BU!!

Vvlgari Mon 01-Aug-16 21:09:28

Hmm. I slipped down the stairs on a pile of clothes DH had left there and bruised my arse quite badly, so I kind of see your DH's point. But there's nothing stopping him taking them up, surely.

RB68 Mon 01-Aug-16 21:12:57

it is a hazard - therefore he should help ensure it is moved. I have a similar method but have a small landing I can put things on - my lot will fight past a pile and two washbaskets and still go up empty handed

Afreshstartplease Mon 01-Aug-16 21:13:24

I do this too

No one takes things up except me unless I nag

Yet they all moan if they stand on things

andintothefire Mon 01-Aug-16 21:16:45

I don't think the clothes on the stairs is particularly safe to be honest - but obviously he IBU not to take them up! Can't you leave them in piles in the laundry room and make it his job to take them upstairs when he comes in? Good exercise!

minipie Mon 01-Aug-16 21:18:27

DH does exactly this

Complains about the hazardous stuff left on the stairs and then walks straight past it


fabulous01 Mon 01-Aug-16 21:18:50

I have one too!

Familyof3or4 Mon 01-Aug-16 21:18:58

I do this system and dh and I have a longstanding gripe when I get cross at him for not taking a pile at the bottom up with him. His answer is always 'I didn't know if it was supposed to go up or had just come down'. I have explained about a million times that if I'd brought it downstairs I would do something with it, not leave it on the step again.
angry angryangry

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