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Aibu to just not get it. I'm afraid to tell dh I'm pregnant.

(62 Posts)
makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:09:16

I am pregnant . This is dc 7. We planned the first 5 and then I had a coil fitted. Dc6 was conceived with the coil In place.

Dh had a vasectomy a few months ago we have been using condoms until we get the result of the test back. My period is late, I just took a first response. Positive. Faint but positive.took a second test a few hours later also positive but actually darker.

I just can't understand when I got pregnant. I don't get it . Dh is not going to be happy.

Aibu to be so confused? I feel so lucky in one way that o have 6 children I have also had 4 miscarriages so I know how precious they are! But still the chances of getting pregnant with a cool in and then through a vasectomy and condom must be tiny. I feel like I'm living in someone's idea of a joke....

Cutecat78 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:13:14

Thing is - this isn't your "fault".

It's both your responsibility - your DH should support you not be angry with you.

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:14:18

Cute - he will support me but he is going to be upset at the same time if you see what I mean .

smellsofelderberries Sun 31-Jul-16 17:15:25

On man, that must be quite a shock!! flowers just tell your DH. You've obviously both been really careful so being confused sounds like a very mild emotion for how I imagine you're feeling! I would tell you DH ASAP so you at least have someone to talk through all your emotions with. Good luck flowers

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 31-Jul-16 17:16:04

Just tell him. It's no one's 'fault' certainly not yours.

davos Sun 31-Jul-16 17:16:50

Did he not go back for his test to make sure it worked?

I thought it was highly unusual for it to heal in months.

Homeriliad Sun 31-Jul-16 17:17:19

You got pregnant despite a coil, vasectomy and condom?? The odds of that must be millions to one.

Cutecat78 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:17:39

If you already have 6 will one more really make that much difference?

What's the age gap?

Atinybittiredandsad Sun 31-Jul-16 17:18:07

Blimey that's tough op. Tell him and then you can both consider all options. You have done everything a responsible adult could do and this is Noones 'fault' flowers. Good luck

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:18:31

Davis he hasn't been back yet because it hasn't been long enough - that's why we have been using condoms.

MitzyLeFrouf Sun 31-Jul-16 17:18:47

I can't imagine how shocked you must be feeling. You took all the precautions so I can completely understand why you'd both be upset. The sooner you tell him the better, you can support one another in your shock. Good luck OP!

CoolioAndTheGang Sun 31-Jul-16 17:19:04

I would get a blood test done to confirm the pregnancy and I would get them to recheck that your dh's snip was successful. Is it possible that you could be further along?

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:19:27

Homer. Yes- I was told getting pregnant with a coil in was rare. It was a mirena.

NapQueen Sun 31-Jul-16 17:19:43

6 kids plus 4 mcs plus 1 current pregnancy. And using contraception too. You two must be the most fertile people in England.

There are options OP.

davos Sun 31-Jul-16 17:20:36

Dh had his test 8 weeks after, how long does he have to wait for his test?

Afreshstartplease Sun 31-Jul-16 17:21:03

Wow, how old are current DC?

I would tell him asap. Better out than in.

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:21:21

Coolio I had a normal period about 5 weeks ago so I wouldn't think so? . I am really trying to think of a time we haven't used a condom correctly . There must be one. I can accept that the vasectomy hasn't protected us but not vasectomy plus condom there has to be user error in there.

But that doesn't really matter now I don't suppose

Scarydinosaurs Sun 31-Jul-16 17:23:58

Did you use condoms correctly? How long has it been since DH's vasectomy? Is your coil in place?

I'm so so sorry that you're in this position- but also, like you say- babies are a gift.

Do you have a reason to be actually concerned about telling him? Can you see your doctor and have them check your coil etc so that you can provide him with a medical explanation when you do tell him.

Scarydinosaurs Sun 31-Jul-16 17:26:09

Sorry X post.

Unless you put a condom on before ever entering you, it isn't 98% effective and something like 74% (trying to remember from when I taught sex ed!)

Was your DH angry last time? Do you have reason to worry he will be angry this time?

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:27:27

He won't be angry just sad I suppose - he loves our youngest and I know he will be fine again. I think he worries about me rather than the baby!

Summerwood1 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:29:02


couldntlovethebearmore Sun 31-Jul-16 17:29:20

Hmm that's unlucky

KitKat1985 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:33:04

Wow. I'm not surprised you are shocked. The odds of conceiving when you have a coil, vasectomy and condom all being used simultaneously must be thousands to one. How do you feel about it? You don't have to go through with this pregnancy if you can't face it.

makingacupoftea Sun 31-Jul-16 17:34:47

Sorry I don't have a coil in now- that was just when I got pregnant last time. I didn't have it put back in after dc6 was born.

So it just the vasectomy and condoms.

CoteDAzur Sun 31-Jul-16 17:34:56

Do you want a 7th child?

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