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Am I being too sensitive?

(8 Posts)
LunaMoony Sat 30-Jul-16 23:41:51

DH is Chinese, I'm white British and we have one DS(9) who is visually an equal mixture of us.

BIL, my husbands brother is also Chinese and his wife is African American, they have a DS(10)

Today was the first day of a football play/training scheme for the boys.

Both were very excited and had an okay time but they didn't like one of the coaches, I wasn't there, so I can only judge from what they've said.

All the kids were split into groups and were assigned a coach and then they rotated throughout the day, DS and DNephew were not in the same group but both complained about the same coach.

He was making comments to all the kids and some of what he said, made the boys really uncomfortable, it was to me, racist.

To DNephew: "Your people can kick harder then that"
When he was putting on sun cream "hurry up, you don't need all that"

To DS: "Are you sure you wouldn't be better in goal, easier to see if you're not running" DS has monolid eyes.

That's all they can remember but they say he said more.

I don't want DS going back tomorrow, DS wants to go and DH thinks I'm overreacting and that we should let him.

WIBU to complain about this coach & ask for DS not to be assigned to him?

WorraLiberty Sun 31-Jul-16 00:31:35

I would complain or at least put him on the spot and ask for an explanation.

Apart from the sun cream comment.

Maybe he was putting too much on and taking too much time?

Birdsgottafly Sun 31-Jul-16 01:01:09

I agree, go and ask for an explanation.

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 31-Jul-16 05:20:47

angry You are sooo NBU! My DH is of African descent and I'm white British.

Once someone actually said 'you're so fair, it's a shame your DC are as black as DH'

The temptation to throttle her was very strong.

DON'T let your DH minimise this. Children pick these things up, that's why they told you about it, because it hurt them.

CoolCarrie Sun 31-Jul-16 05:27:12

YANBU at all! Clearly this so called coach is a complete dick! You go with them tomorrow & ask to speak to him, see what his reaction is. What a stupid man he is! 😠

VioletBam Sun 31-Jul-16 07:11:56

I would also have to speak personally to this nasty man. DEFINITELY complain officially.

LunaMoony Sun 31-Jul-16 07:44:36

I'm glad you all agree with me, DH dealt with a lot of racism growing up, so unless it's blatant or really nasty, he just shrugs it off, which can be so frustrating.

I don't want DS growing up thinking it's okay to be treated like this, no matter how sly or subtle the comments.

I'm certainly going to have a word with him, ask for an explanation and then officially complain.

Worra, I can see how the sun cream comment could have been directed at any kid, it was just that after all his other comments it didn't sound so innocent.

SpecialAgent, the things that people say that they think is perfectly acceptable can be downright shocking at times.

LyndaNotLinda Sun 31-Jul-16 07:46:42

I can quite see how the suncream comment was racist.

I would complain and ask for the guy to be removed from camp.

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