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To talk about benefits?

(164 Posts)
TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:02:07

It seems such a sensitive subject around here!

I don't work, well not 'paid' work as such. I am a SAHM, but it's not a luxury as some would describe. But I wanted to describe what I do to give some insight into why do what I do, because I do feel judged, and I do feel guilty...

I have 2 dc's and a dh we have a mortgage. DH works ft. DH's wage is over the tax credits thresh-hold BUT we do get tax credits because both dc's have 'special needs' (hate that term). The boys get DLA and child benefit.

I claim carers allowance, only one lot mind, because that's all I'm allowed to.
Both dc's are in mainstream school full time.
Why don't I work while they are in school?
Well I could, but just now I am so tired, it's exhausting caring for my 2 dc's.
Yes the carers allowance and tax credits cover the earning gap, and I would probably lose that if and when I start earning that, and that's why I feel guilty. I would struggle to find a job in school hours.

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight, that not everyone is a money grabbing benefit cheat.

Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere Sat 30-Jul-16 21:05:10

I recently got told that my carers allowance was " a rip off" and I'm " getting paid to look after my own kid - it's called parenting" hmm

Asked them if they would like to work a job 24/7, no holidays or even lunch breaks for £62.10 a week.... Funnily enough they declined grin

TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:07:08

People really don't get it do they!

Carers allowance is a joke really, and I get one lot split between the 2 confused

TrampolinePisser Sat 30-Jul-16 21:07:42

I don't think it's acceptable now to admit you're in receipt of tax credits's seen as embarrassing

Yet up till a few years ago was fine

Propaganda does wonders sad

noeuf Sat 30-Jul-16 21:08:26

What do you want from this thread? Validation - anonymous posters telling you your choices are okay?

PaniWahine Sat 30-Jul-16 21:08:29

I've always thought that benefits are a hand up, not a hand out. Your case at face value appears to fall under 'hand up'.
My personal bugbear are those who have multiple kids, adding to the brood when they can't afford to independently support the children they already have. Usually they're the ones on the DailyFail bleating that it's their right to have as many kids as they want yet they want taxpayers cash and a council house. We all have to cut our cloth to our budgets...

If your kids are getting older, it may be worthwhile considering some training or even volunteering to build skills for the future

BishopBrennansArse Sat 30-Jul-16 21:08:47

I've had the same comments as imnot.
People who haven't been there won't have a clue.

TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:10:59

I'm fully trained in a career, but cannot work as I care for my children.

PaniWahine Sat 30-Jul-16 21:12:06

Sorr sent too soon.

Not everyone is a benefit cheat but we all know of someone who is... Which is where the attitude comes from.

Personally I know of a neighbour, both claiming unemployment and rent subsidy. They have a lodger and he's working cash in hand. They spend much each summer in Spain with the kids. One of the other neighbours reported it, but nothing was done.

TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:13:00

It' not a choice my dc's have needs, they just have.

It's not a choice to take tax credits, it's a need.

noeuf Sat 30-Jul-16 21:14:18

Okay, so still not sure what you want from the thread - is it just explanation of why some people get tax credits?

Babyroobs Sat 30-Jul-16 21:17:10

I don't think many people would judge someone caring for 2 children with extra needs, I think most people would recognise that it is an exhausting job and that you should get financial support. I think some people just feel resentful when others stay home and claim tax credits for doing so. Personally i don't have any objection to sahp's with pre-schoolers staying home as often childcare costs won't make it financially viable. It's when you see families with older kids ( all of school age) claiming tax credits with no intention of getting a job that it starts to grate a little. I know quite a few families in this situation . One parent working in a minimum wage job, a sahp and claiming a blooming lot of money per month !! It perhaps seems worse to me because I have 4 kids and have never stopped working, always working nights and weekends around my dh's hours. We've done this for 16 years and are exhausted as neither ever gets a break. I know I will probably get judged for having 4 kids ( last one not planned). I could give up work ( very stressful, exhausting job) and get around £300 a month in tax credits but it doesn't really sit right with me.

TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:17:19

No, like I said, I'm just highlighting, that not everyone is a benefit cheat.

I'm fed up reading benefit threads, where people benefit bash others. the latest one has been horrible.

Just thought I'd write my view point down. Shed some light.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sat 30-Jul-16 21:17:49

I get tax credits.

However, if my ex paid up/CSA did their job I wouldn't need them and wouldn't claim them.

But he gets away with not paying. He's allowed to opt out.

The system is weird.

TinyTapDancer Sat 30-Jul-16 21:19:40

Babyroobs I do get judged, but thats because my dc's special needs are of the 'invicible' kind.

I get poeple asking me when am I going back to work now the kids at school.

Amelie10 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:20:58

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight, that not everyone is a money grabbing benefit cheat.

But there are many, many people who are so its just a matter of each situation being different.

noeuf Sat 30-Jul-16 21:21:18

Okay. I think tax credits are pretty mainstream tbh, not sure people care that much?

PolterGoose Sat 30-Jul-16 21:22:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babyroobs Sat 30-Jul-16 21:22:57

Most people whose ex's pay good amounts of child maintainence would also claim tax creidts on top just because they still can. I know many lone parents who do this. Would you honestly turn down free money? I don't think it will be long before those receiving regular cm will have their tax creidt cut. I do agree much more should be done to make absent parents pay up.

TrampolinePisser Sat 30-Jul-16 21:24:31

Oh I hope not babyroobs I get a nice amount of tax credits on top of my ex's maintenance payments

Ah well... if it does I'll just make sure he pays me in cash smile

Lurkedforever1 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:25:10

If someone receives carers allowance then they are working, even though the pay is shit.

I do think that in theory a couple shouldn't be eligible for working tc unless both are working, unless they are either exempt on health grounds or have dc under school age. Same as single parents, when their dc hit 5 they should have to prove they are making an effort to get paid employment. However, the current disgrace that is deemed jsa, along with what is deemed healthy enough for work needs reforming. I don't just want couples to also be sanctioned alongside lone parents for failing to meet impossible targets.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:25:50

Any thread about benefits on here will turn into benefit bashing.

mrgrouper Sat 30-Jul-16 21:26:05

I am on indefinite DLA for bipolar and autism but being transferred to PIP. The stress of it is making me ill and I am scared because I am starting a job in September so they might claim there is nothing wrong with me when there is.

Marmalade85 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:26:27

If you really felt guilty and wanted to work then you would otherwise you'll find an excuse.

PolterGoose Sat 30-Jul-16 21:28:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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