V good friend got married last fortnight in Scotland. We didn't get an invite as it was a small wedding and just Family and B&G chose 1 friend (and their partners) each. Totally wasn't offended by this as would have been tricky and expensive to take my DC and DH to attend. We talked about it, all good. However.. Big party arranged for next weekend for everyone else. My ex-partner has been invited by groom and bride has said she's not happy about it but doesn't want to rock the boat. Ex and groom are not particularly close friends, just socially acquainted, but he thinks he's 'a laugh' (we live in small town where everyone mixes at weekends)
I'm 5 months PG, we can't seem to get a babysitter at the moment and DH has said he'll stay home and I can go alone. Will know lots of people there and friends going also.
Ex was very abusive. Violent, controlling, unpredictable. Made 10 years of my life a misery. No secret. Everyone at the time knew it was going on and was sympathetic but he's still accepted within their social circle (not in their group of friends but will chat/buy him drinks etc when everyone is together) whereas even though we all still mix occasionally, I had to move on to another group plus had baby so social life died a wee bit.
Ex appears to have calmed down in intervening years (about 6 years) but was a big problem when drunk. On odd occasions I see him socially he still attempts to intimidate me, makes comments, stares etc. Makes me feel uncomfortable. People tend to ignore it if they notice at all.
WIBU to not go to party..? It's a very good friend, not as close as we used to be, but still one of my best. Will have good support network there with other friends but just not feeling up to it. Preggers, alone and ex in attendance is feeling too much.
I will feel rotten not going- but if I'm honest, am hurt that he's invited and that no-one seems to think it might be awkward for me. (I know it's not about ME, and haven't told friend I'm unhappy with his invite or anything as its not MY day!) really don't know if I'm being OTT.. Advice welcomed!!
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AIBU?
To not go to BFs wedding party..?
70 replies
Marigold76 · 30/07/2016 09:11
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