to not want dd to move out of our room

(92 Posts)
ollieplimsoles Sat 30-Jul-16 01:14:30

We have a 9 month old dd, since she was born she has slept in our room in a side sleeper cot. She has now out grown this and she sleeps in our bed with me and dh. We have ordered her another, larger cot and plan to have that one in our room too.

Our families can't understand why we don't move her into her own room now. Both our parents have commented that its not fair on her that she doesn't have her own space and we should set up a proper nursery.

All the other babies in the family were in their own rooms really early and it always gets dragged up in conversations with family members.

Its starting to grate on me! Is it so bad that we enjoy having our dd in our room, dh loves waking up to her cooing and laughing, and I love being so close to her during the night.

Even our friends are starting to say its odd now, are we BU ?

LAmusic Sat 30-Jul-16 01:16:14

If you are both okay with it, keep doing it smile

SalemsLott Sat 30-Jul-16 01:18:11

Yanbu. It's your baby and you do what you want, just ignore the negative comments.
All my 4 dc's were in my room till about 18 months to 2 years, I didn't give a stuff what anyone thought smile

ollieplimsoles Sat 30-Jul-16 01:26:21

Thanks! We are both not ready to have her in her own room and she loves it in here with us.

Shes our first so we always second guess what we are doing and wonder if we could be doing it better..

barkingfly Sat 30-Jul-16 01:32:32

ours slept in our room until she was three; in a single bed when she outgrew her crib. Nothing at all wrong with it.

blinkowl Sat 30-Jul-16 01:34:56

Aw she's only 9 months. I bet she feels safe, secure and loved sleeping so close to you.

Our 3 year old is just about to move into her own room this summer. Admittedly that is slightly longer than we planned (and if she and her brother didn't fight so much she would have moved in to his room earlier) but it's no one's business but ours!

I love our morning cuddles, DD sleeps on a toddler bed in our room but always come and snuggles into our bed in the morning, it's a lovely way to wake up (as long as it's not too early!!)

DS was in our bed with us till he was about 2 and a bit IIRC, and even after he moved into his own room he'd get up early in the morning and come back to our bed.

Our culture has an odd obsession with wanting to separate babies and toddlers from their parents IMO.

You do what is right for you and your family, ignore the naysayers, they're speaking from a position of ignorance. They're simply reflecting the materialist mainstream culture we live in. It really is odd, if you think about it, to believe a 9 month old needs things more than she needs her mother, don't you think?

BlurtonOnKites4eva Sat 30-Jul-16 01:37:22

We have our 10 month DD in with us and it's lovely. All of my family members did the same as us! They were baffled when she was tiny and I was paranoid about SIDS and we didn't have her in our bed. You can never do right with these people.

catsofa Sat 30-Jul-16 01:37:35

None of anyone's business but yours. DS is 15 months and still in with me.

SalemsLott Sat 30-Jul-16 01:38:19

As for your parents saying it's not fair she doesn't have her own space, that bonkers! She's 9 months not 9 years ffs grin

ExtraHotLatteToGo Sat 30-Jul-16 01:43:25

LOL @ 'not fair she doesn't have her own space' 😁😂

Try not to keep second guessing yourselves, you both sound lovely and I'm sure if you do what you feel is right, it will be.

LucyBabs Sat 30-Jul-16 01:46:34

I would have loved to keep the dc in our room for as long as possible.

However dd at 5 months started waking at 3 am every night lifting her legs and banging them down onto her cot mattress then breaking her heart laughing. As soon as we moved her into the own room she slept from 8pm/7am!
Ds didn't sleep at all really! At 9 months I thought moving him to his own room might help but I ended up sleeping in his room from 1am onwards.
Eventually at 18 months ds "decided" to sleep through from 8pm till 8am confused

Atenco Sat 30-Jul-16 06:13:13

We don't do own rooms for babies in my family either. Even if we wanted to, never had the space, so I never could understand parents choosing to have to get up to go to another room to soothe their baby.

LagunaBubbles Sat 30-Jul-16 06:26:57

I couldn't wait to put mine in their own rooms but that's because I'm a poor sleeper, and all the noises they made in their sleep kept me awake!

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Sat 30-Jul-16 06:36:57

DS is 15 months and still in with us, he's just gone into a toddler bed but climbs in with me about 5.30 every morning for a cuddle and goes back to sleep. He is going into his own room in the next couple of months purely because I'm pregnant and would like him settled in his own room before the baby comes to avoid him being woken by a newborn

Janecc Sat 30-Jul-16 06:44:57

DD is asleep next to me. She's 8. We had her with us till 9 months and thought she should have her own space - cultural norms. If I did it again, I wouldn't do that.

DD is with me because we were burgled almost 2 years ago and it was so awful. I was in bed and he came inside the bedroom where I was asleep and I ended up getting up and unwittingly chasing him out of the house. DH was out - it was around 9.30pm. I thought he'd come back because of the crunching glass falling from the glass door and I was petrified and dragged DD into the bathroom. She doesn't remember it (thank goodness). At some stage soon DD will have to go back to her room and we've bought her a new bed - yet to assemble. But I was too freaked for a very long time. Your child, your rules.

MinnowAndTheBear Sat 30-Jul-16 06:52:03

I wish we had the space for a full- sized cot in our bedroom, let alone a single bed. We can barely squeeze the Moses basket in! Thankfully DS is a little titch so he shouldn't grow out of that for a while yet.

abbinobb Sat 30-Jul-16 06:52:49

What kind of 9 month old needs their own space!? for what!?
DS is 3 next week and currently fast asleep in my bed, he has his own room which he usually sleeps in but he was scared.
He went to his own room at about 1
It's fine i really dont get the problem

pearlylum Sat 30-Jul-16 06:54:40

It's no ones' business but yours.

We co slept with our children until they were three or four. We all slept brilliantly, moving to their own beds was done at an easy pace, we have never had any tantrums or tears at bed time.
The move to their own bed was easy.
You need to make it clear to your family that it is not a topic for discussion.

Pearlman Sat 30-Jul-16 06:55:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pearlylum Sat 30-Jul-16 06:56:48

* if you're making a rod for your own back.*

That old chestnut/

Tootsiepops Sat 30-Jul-16 06:59:29

Our 8 month old is now in her own room, but I miss her so much I'm actually going to move her cot back in to our room.

She stirs in the night, but when she was beside me, I could soothe her back to sleep with some shushes and a tummy rub. Now that she's in her own room, I don't hear the stirrings and so it escalates in to full blown wailing sad

Maybebabybee Sat 30-Jul-16 07:00:10

I cannot emphasise how much I loathe that phrase.

Op, yanbu.

cosytoaster Sat 30-Jul-16 07:00:16

YANBU at all. It's probably a generational thing; 18 years ago DS1 was in his own room from birth, but by the time I had DS2 (3 years later) the norm had changed and his cot was in our room for about a year.

Janecc - that must have been terrifying, don't blame you for wanting to keep your DD close

LouSavage Sat 30-Jul-16 07:03:49

"Rod for your own back" is nonsense and so outdated. Your baby doesn't care about having her own space so ignore family members talking about that! If you're all happy and everyone is getting the rest they need then why change anything?
My 13 month old is still in with us. She's had bronchiolitis more than once and tends to struggle with her chest at night. I also noticed she was pausing breathing sometimes. If she hadn't been with us I wouldn't have known. She has inhalers now and seems better but we feel safer having her with us until she's bigger.
Do what's working for your family and bugger anyone else.

Pearlman Sat 30-Jul-16 07:03:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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