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Stressing over something ridiculous?

(3 Posts)
user1469833591 Sat 30-Jul-16 01:00:30

Brand new to the site and hoping I have placed this in the right area so here we go...
Just some roots:
I am a 25 y.o single mum to my 5 year old son. He has a disability - he is severely visually impaired and has autism. Me and his (now) 30.y.o father split when he was 5 months old.

Whilst his dad has always been in his life, he has never been a strong father. We have scheduled time which he goes to his dad's and this is consistent every week however his time with the littlun is always spent at his mums. So my son has his tea at his nanas a couple of times midweek and stays there every other weekend fri-sun. The littluns dad has his own house (over the road from his mum) but refuses to have him stay there incase he doesn't hear him in the night and still relies on his mum to make his tea, do his washing etc. Once on a week where his mum had gone on a well deserved holiday he then relied on his sister for help! He never asks for any extra time with his son, and even in a fortnight off work he doesn't ask to have him once to take him for dinner or just to spend some time with him however his nana does, His nana is basically the other parent, she does everything for our son whilst he sits back. Though when he is with them they never take him anywhere fun! Tesco and a trip to home bargains is their idea of a trip out. I'm not expecting them to take him for a week abroad but just a trip to the park once a fortnight couldn't hurt surely?

We made a pact when we split up that we needed to be with someone for a year before we introduce them to the littlun, so he hasn't got people walking in and out his life and that we have gotten to know that person as well as we can and about a year ago he started dating someone (20y.o), I am in no way bitter about this as I believe that everyone deserves to be happy. However, he had no problem shoving this in my face, and informing me of how they take her nephew out to the park and do this that, and spending all his free time with her. I have just nodded and smiled for the last year however of course like we agreed he now wants her to meet him and I feel like I'm going to explode. Would it have to take another woman for him to spend time with his son? Will he be painting her a picture of him being the perfect father? Will she understand/take good care of my son and his needs? She could be the sweetest person on earth but the thought of this makes my blood boil.

Am I being unreasonable?!?

Sorry for the long post- this is keeping me awake!!

Mediumred Sat 30-Jul-16 03:11:18

Hi, you are not stressing over something ridiculous. You have seen your ex be a very poor excuse for a father to your wee boy and now he wants to show off in front of his girlfriend. Of course you have every right to be furious for your lovely lad.

I hope other posters come along soon with more constructive but I just wanted to say that your feelings are really valid and you are right to feel livid and hurt, he sounds terrible. Please take care of yourself and your little lad.

Missgraeme Sun 31-Jul-16 22:44:42

Sounds like your ex has no confidence at all in his parenting skills. He has had his mother and sister holding his hand these past years. Now he has a gf to do it! Meet her and lay down your preferences regarding your child - as he has no preference! Explain u are glad she has the confidence to take your ds out and look forward to hearing all about their trips!! Give her your number so she can reassure u. My exes gf used to text every week about my 2ds coz their dad was too much of an arse to communicate. With her help he may step up at last!

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