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Birthday/Christmas Presents for adults?!

(6 Posts)
RandomName9 Fri 29-Jul-16 19:37:57

So it's my DH birthday on Monday, having a bit of a get together tomorrow as its his 30th. Quite often in our family a few members will "put in" towards a bigger present if it is more expensive than we would normally spend. My mum asked my brother & sis in law (and few others) if they would go in towards a present for DH..around about £40 per couple. My Brother said no because he doesn't usually buy for me or husband.

Fair enough I thought until I realised we ALWAYS buy for him & SIL for birthdays & Christmas. Am I being unfair to now change this arrangement?! I'm not being childish or petite because he didn't buy for husband (the present has been purchased regardless) but Brother & SIL are both in VERY good jobs, no children & lots of disposable income. Brother also has a bit of form for being a bit tight-one occasion in a restaurant asking the waiter for his 80p change shock. Me & husband have 2 children, he works (very hard) but I don't atm so we don't have a great disposable amount. I often feel we waste our money on presents & find buying for adults such a headache can I drop it this year or am I being unreasonable?

Failingfasttonight Fri 29-Jul-16 19:42:39

Do you even need to ask? He's been telling you for years through his actions that he is but exchanging presents.

Nofunkingworriesmate Fri 29-Jul-16 19:45:52

If you suddenly stop giving gifts after always doing so it may cause an issue, or, family could be understanding that your circumstances are tighter than they were ??
Homemade biscuits Would probably get your point across ...

RandomName9 Fri 29-Jul-16 19:48:49

Great idea, I can get the kids to make them wink Don't think it would cause any issues tbh, I'm not sure they would even notice as we don't really see them, just kind of pass the presents on..Just feels like a waste of our money to buy something they probably don't want or need!!

It's hit and miss with the in laws side if people buy them or not. No one ever minds either way. I'm sure you would be fine if you stopped giving them. If they asked just say you can't afford it at the moment and didn't see the point of buying something for the sake of it

muddypuddled Fri 29-Jul-16 20:04:28

In our family if there are children we buy for them and not the parent for birthdays, just a card. If they don't have children we buy them a present. For Christmas everyone gets something but we stick to a tenner for adults. This happened because my bro-in-law has no partner or children but buys all of us gifts so it wouldn't feel fair if we didn't get him something but for the other adults in our family we ended up just passing vouchers back and forth so there wasn't much point!

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