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To want to just stay at home

(8 Posts)
Believeitornot Fri 29-Jul-16 13:42:30

I work in a high stress job so very much look forward to the weekend if I'm not working and my annual leave.
Because work is so stressful and I see little of the kids in the week despite working 4 days a week.

The house is gradually getting into a mess despite a cleaner.

Anyway, I've got two weeks off work. One of those weeks we are going away and the other one I had planned to do nothing but DH has decided we should also have another short trip.

I've thrown a little strop as I want to stay at home for a few days and, God forbids that this sounds cheesy, reconnect with home and the DCs. Just doing routine stuff and not having to think very much.

It's similar at the weekend - I don't always want to be doing something as soon as the sun shines, for example, I quite like to just potter about.

AIBU? It's very hard to get this across to DH. But then again he doesn't do very much around the home so doesn't get all the stuff that needs thinking about just to keep life ticking over hmm

MooPointCowsOpinion Fri 29-Jul-16 13:45:02

YANBU, I like a mixture of calm days at home and days out when I'm not working. Just say no thanks, not up for that, but if he wants to take the kids out for a day you'd love a day to get stuff done at home?

PersianCatLady Fri 29-Jul-16 14:25:53

I can understand what you are saying you just want to spend some time catching up on all of those little, important but non-urgent jobs and get things organised so once you return to work your life will be easier.

NeedACleverNN Fri 29-Jul-16 14:27:38

It's nice to stay home somedays and just potter about..

Today I am the opposite. I am desperate to go out but I don't know where to go as it looks like rain and I'm waiting for a package anyway

daisypond Fri 29-Jul-16 14:38:50

I like staying at home, too - just time to potter, to do things that don't take a good deal of planning at a relaxed pace. DH and I are both shift workers, and we work varying shifts of weekends, nights and bank holidays, but on different patterns. It's stressful and high-pressurised work and we rarely get to see each other. We've spent two weeks' annual leave at home (lack of money to go on holiday as well!), but it's been nice. Our teenage children were miffed about the lack of a "holiday", but we really couldn't afford it and we've done some local things instead that we wouldn't normally do - like go to the theatre. If your DH wants to take the kids out for day trips, can he not do that and you potter about at home?

Birdsgottafly Fri 29-Jul-16 14:57:03

""But then again he doesn't do very much around the home so doesn't get all the stuff that needs thinking about just to keep life ticking over ""

Get him more involved, if he pushes for you to always be doing stuff. As for the other short trip, the compromise could be that he gets stuck into the house, with you and you go if it's back on track.

From when my middle DD was two (I was pregnant), my DH used to take them out, or visit family, without me. Likewise until my youngest was around six months.

My DH used to work away, so we were used to not doing things together. I don't understand why couples still can't do their own thing, occasionally.

Believeitornot Fri 29-Jul-16 16:50:00

We do do our own things.... I like to stay at home with the DCs - today for example we've been running errands in town and they've been playing at home all afternoon while I do stuff around the house. Those are the sorts of things I like to do.

Dh does take the DCs out - but I miss them as I work for most of the year. So the odd day trip is fine but not every time I want to potter.

I don't think we as a family need to be on the go all the time. I like the idea of the kids getting bored and having to make their own entertainment as opposed to having "organised fun" all the time

SmallBee Fri 29-Jul-16 16:54:55

YANBU.

If DH doesn't get it then he's not helping enough. I'd suggest a compromise. Draw up a list of everything you want done and say if the two of you together achieve this then you're happy to do a short break last minute. Maybe he'll understand where you are coming from more?

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