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AIBU to ask you how I can be more positive about myself?

(3 Posts)
nomoreheroes Fri 29-Jul-16 11:12:12

A tenuous first AIBU I suppose - it might be more reasonable to ask you for a kick in the bum, but here goes...

So yesterday I went to collect DD from her friend's house where she'd been playing for the afternoon. Friend's mum, who is lovely and chatty and someone I think could be a good friend, invited me in for a cuppa while the girls were finishing off their game. In the space of that half hour chat, I have since realised, I did nothing but criticise myself. In no particular order, I criticised:
My hair (needs to be washed every day, too thick and greasy)
My house (messier than hers)
My parenting skills (too much tablet time, don't know how to play games with them etc)
My weight (about 2 stone overweight)
There was probably more too.

In fairness to myself, I know we can all be guilty of this - e.g. when someone apologises to you for the state of their house, you assure them that yours is worse (to make them feel better rather than to denigrate yourself). And also the weight conversation was partly about my effort (successful so far) to lose some so I wasn't just being mean about myself (though I was really!). But in hindsight I was being very negative. It's not how I like to think of myself to be honest, as I try to be optimistic and friendly. But perhaps I am not - I moved to this town quite a few years ago and while I have a number of work friends and mum friends, I would honestly say I haven't a single close friend from here - as in, someone I would phone for a chat or invite out for coffee if we no longer had the work/children connection. But that's maybe a whole other thread!

So to get back to the point, I wonder if any of you do this and have any advice about how I might stop myself?

YorkieDorkie Fri 29-Jul-16 11:20:35

Well step 1 - you're aware of it yourself. It's one thing to be told you're self critical but you know it already so that's a start! I noticed the same thing about myself and honestly it's so boring to listen to.
Step 2 - Try just complimenting people - instead of "your house is so much more stylish than mine" try "that lamp is stylish, I'd love something similar in my living room. Where did you find it?"

Find the positive/constructive in everything!

nomoreheroes Fri 29-Jul-16 11:27:53

Yes Yorkie, boring is exactly what it is!! Nobody likes a Moaning Minnie. But you're right, at least now I am aware of it and I will have to try to turn off the auto-pilot.

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