To think nursery could do better?(6 Posts)
2 1/2 year old DD can be quite spirited, she's a lovely girl but she pushes boundaries, however no more than a child her age usually does. We're fairly strict at home, there are consequences for poor behaviour and rewards for good behaviour. She goes to nursery full time during term time while I work and usually on pick-up the feedback is good.
However this week she has been in trouble every day and yesterday I felt almost ganged up on by two key workers who told me at length about how unkind, naughty and terrible my girl had been that day. I'm not one of these parents who think their child is an angel - if anything I think I sometimes put pressure on DD to behave in a way which is older than her years as I work with teenagers so I have high expectations of good behaviour.
One comment that they both made keeps running through my head. They said they think this recent unusually naughty behaviour is happening because she is bored and they can't challenge her in that room (she's one of the oldest in the toddler room now). At the time I just nodded my head as I was mortified that she had been so naughty. On later reflection, I'm starting to think that if she's misbehaving because she is bored, that's not really her fault! She's 2 1/2, not 12! If I gave that reason for misbehaviour in my classroom, my boss would be asking me what I am doing to challenge the kids as its my job to make sure they learn, are not bored and behave well.
I don't want to kick up a fuss at the nursery - overall I have been pleased with the care there and the ladies are generally lovely. However IABU to think it's the nursery's responsibility to cater for the needs of every child in their care and if one child is misbehaving because they are bored, it's down to them to provide enough challenge to entertain the child, not label the child as naughty? I've always said to myself that no matter what academic ability my DD ends up having, as long as she is a kind person who behaves well, I'll be happy. To hear my lovely girl being described as unkind and naughty has upset me. (Though I accept the things she has been doing are naughty and unkind!) Maybe I'm just being a bit pfb?
I think you need to ask what their plans are to move her to the next room then....
Is that what they told you though? They say give her challenging stuff in there. That's usually code for being bored?
It's difficult for them to challenge one toddler. Can she move to the next room?
If she's the eldest in the group then I'd say she needs to move up a level, the staff won't be able to give her 1:1 time to entertain her all day long. Have they mentioned moving her?
If the incidents are happening at Nursery then they need to sit down with you, address the issues and put a strategy in place for your dd and the other children.
Firstly, it is inappropriate that two of them are sharing a long list of concerns at pick up. Ideally her key person should be the only one to tell you if there were any important incidents, it should not be in earshot of your child (or anyone else) and there should always be something positive to say as well. If the incidents are serious, ongoing & daily, they need to make a suitable time to talk with you, so they can let you know what they have been observing & how they intend to support her. So you can both make plans together.
If one of the working theories is that she is bored, then the solutions should absolutely be focused on how they will resolve that. What on earth do they expect you to do about it otherwise? Ridiculous!
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