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To ask him to wait?

(49 Posts)
YourNewspaperIsShit Thu 28-Jul-16 14:08:06

Due a delivery today slot is from 1:30pm-4pm, me and DP napped with the baby this morning until 12ish (to make up for sleep deprivation). I told DP at least 4 times he couldn't go out after 1:30pm until delivery had been. I have issues answering the door, i need to BF baby and it's furniture that I can't lift anyway.

DP starts to walk out the door at 1:35pm hmm I ask what on earth he's doing (does anyone else's DP just walk off without saying anything?) and he says going for milk and bread coz he hasn't eaten all day.

Ensue blazing row because I "won't let him eat" and he'll only "be 10mins". But in my logic I'm terrified they'll turn up in those 10mins (sod's law right?) and he had over an hour to sort himself out or he could've woke up sooner.

Now I'm the bad guy because he "could've been there and back by now" angry When we do the 'big shop' he won't put anything in the trolley for himself because he doesn't know what he wants so we're always arguing about him being hungry. It's like having another child. AIBU? Am I just a generic nagging partner?

NavyandWhite Thu 28-Jul-16 14:10:25

What are your issues surrounding answering the door?

Sirzy Thu 28-Jul-16 14:10:39

Well did you have any milk or bread in? Where you feeding at the time he went out?

If you hadn't long since got up and had no milk or bread in then I can't see anything wrong with one of you nipping for some tbh.

sooperdooper Thu 28-Jul-16 14:14:14

Why don't you nip and get the bread and milk and he waits for the delivery?

Why don't you want to answer the door? Or can't they just leave the furniture in the hall/living room and he sorts it when he gets back?

BorpBorpBorp Thu 28-Jul-16 14:14:37

If your DP agreed to be in to answer the door, he can't pop out.
Can you go out to get the bread and milk?

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 Thu 28-Jul-16 14:14:43

This would annoy me too he knew the plan could've gone to the shop at 1.15pm. YANBU

RaptorInaPorkPieHat Thu 28-Jul-16 14:15:43

Is there some reason why you couldn't go and get the bread/milk? leave DP to wait in for the delivery?

MoonStar07 Thu 28-Jul-16 14:16:21

New baby and sleep deprivation. New mummy and BF lots of stuff going on. I would say it wasn't really about going out or the delivery just you have a lot on. Regarding food. My DH can be like that. It's best probably to plan a few meals and shop online that way no trolley awkwardness.

OhNoNotMyBaby Thu 28-Jul-16 14:16:24

Yes I think YABU.
You don't have to lift anything. Delivery people will bring it into your house and put it where you tell them to put it.

And if your DH was hungry and you'd be asleep til 12 I'm not surprised he wanted to pop out. Telling him 4 times he can't do something is not great.

The real issue is your fear of answering the door - this needs addressing.

KayJBee Thu 28-Jul-16 14:16:50

Yes he's being remarkably unhelpful by going out 5 mins after you've asked him to wait in. However I'm not sure from your post whether you have other issues around answering the door or whether your issue is that you may be bfing. If the latter then you just need to get on with it, unlatch baby for 2 mins, carry baby to door, deal with the door, ask delivery person to put delivery just inside your door/wherever, then get back to feeding baby. Get other half to move it when he gets back. Shouldn't be a big deal.
If you have other issues, apart from baby, about answering the door then your partner really needs to be more supportive, and I hope you are already on your way to addressing the issues and overcoming them.
Chances are it won't arrive in the 10 mins he's gone anyway. Things always seem worse when you are sleep deprived.

MoonStar07 Thu 28-Jul-16 14:17:11

Oh and you haven't eaten so throw hunger into the mix!

McBassyPants Thu 28-Jul-16 14:17:37

Without a bit more info it sounds to me like YABU sorry

NavyandWhite Thu 28-Jul-16 14:17:59

They may have ' a lot going on ' but people still need to eat.

TheUnsullied Thu 28-Jul-16 14:21:43

YABU I'm afraid. You are in. You can answer the door. He won't be long so can help with the furniture when he gets back. If answering the door really is a massive issue, it would have been far more adult to offer to go for the bread and milk instead.

Topseyt Thu 28-Jul-16 14:22:26

I'd be irritated by your refusal to answer the door to be honest. Unless there is more to it as you haven't explained your issues there.

RedHelenB Thu 28-Jul-16 14:23:38

YABU and controlling.

strongswans Thu 28-Jul-16 14:25:00

I think YABU. If you can't answer the door to them then you could go to the shop. Dp needs to eat. Also the delivery people would bring heavy items in surely.

LivingOnTheDancefloor Thu 28-Jul-16 14:25:55

I see your point, what if the delivery arrives while you are breastfeeding, this type of things. Could you have offered to go to the shop yourself if it is just 10mins?

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 28-Jul-16 14:29:43

Yabu, but then a new baby, lack of sleep and hunger are a bad mix and it's hard to remain rational.

Pinkheart5915 Thu 28-Jul-16 14:30:30

You pop out for 10 minutes to get bread & milk and then dp stays for delivery.

Or he goes to the shop for 10 minutes and you get the delivery guys to put the item just inside your door for you no lifing involved dp can move it when he returns.

YourNewspaperIsShit Thu 28-Jul-16 14:34:58

I'm HF autistic and part of my struggles is communication and letting anyone inside the house so I can't answer the door to anyone at all, didn't mean to drip feed was hoping I didn't have to mention it because I got flamed last time I did blush

He drives and I don't so the trip would be 10mins for him but almost an hour for me once I'd waited for buses there and back.

Mari50 Thu 28-Jul-16 14:36:06

YABU, if you can't/won't answer the door then you should have gone to the shop.

YourNewspaperIsShit Thu 28-Jul-16 14:38:18

YABU and controlling I really hope not sad I was abused in my last relationship by someone controlling it would break my heart if I've now done that. It's just he had 1hr 30mins to go get some and he was just playing on his phone and mucking around the house and I was really scared of someone turning up while he was gone

BorpBorpBorp Thu 28-Jul-16 14:39:22

You have a good reason not to be able to answer the door, and I guess if they arrived while you were in and he was out, even if you didn't answer the door, it might make you anxious. Presumably your dp knows this.

He should have gone out early enough to be back before the delivery slot. If there's literally nothing in the house for you both to eat that afternoon, you should have gone to the shop. Otherwise, he should make do and wait until the delivery has been made before he goes out.

EreniTheFrog Thu 28-Jul-16 14:39:30

Could you have managed to go to the shop yourself? Sleep deprivation is awful, I know.

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