to feel as though I'm failing my DC(4 Posts)
Bit of background:
Dc1 (5) ds2 (1) have different fathers both of who I was with for several years and both are still involved in Dc lives.
I am going back to uni to start fourth year in September.
After trying to make my second relationship work after his repeated cheating I ended up suicidal and admitted to a mother and baby unit a year ago.
Now I'm off medication and trying to regulate myself through diet and excerise.
I'm going through a housing crisis just now as since my ex left my landlord has refused to hand over a letter to council to confirm I am sole tenant in house as landlord wanted to start a whole new tenancy. Anyway rent arrears began to build, and many visits to CAB and phonecalls and stress the rent arrears have been paid by guarantors and I'm now hoping to god this will be resolved. However I currently have no 2nd guarantor. This has killed me. I could declare as homeless but ds1 is about to start p2 and I feel because of my illness and my failure in relationships ds1 has been brought enough.
I try my very best with Dc and always put them first, I read parenting books and constantly tell them I love them.
My family have told me recently if I go back to uni I will "not cope" . I feel alone and confused, I'm ashamed of myself an sometimes feel Dc would be better off at their dad's.
Ds1 sometimes cries for his dad because he misses him (visits every other weekend) and tells me he wants to live with him. So I ask his dad if he could see ds1 more often and he says no, I've asked twice now.
Sorry this is so long, and thank you for staying with me !
Oh you poor thing, that's so much to have on your plate at one time.
My first thought is whether the Uni can give you some support? Some of them are fantastic with accommodation and childcare so it might be worth asking.
Try not to believe what your DS says, he doesn't mean it and only says it because he is secure with you. Also ignore your family, not sure what they hope to gain by telling you that and not offering any extra support.
Try to hold on to the fact that you got through some really dark times and coped so you will get through this. And nothing I've ready in your post makes me think you have anything to be ashamed of.
Thank you so much rebecca.
Yes my family tend to give with one hand and take with the other and it takes me a long time to get over it!
I guess I feel ashamed because my ex and his family have had to help with rent as has my mum as they are guarantors. And because I feel I'm failing to provide a safe and stable home for dc.
Well you're not failing in providing them a home because you're working out ways to do it - and there's no reason why the extended family shouldn't help you out. Keep at it OP, accept help if it's offered and try to believe it is made with good intentions because people care about you and your DCs (even if they find it hard to show!!).
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