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To expect my children to play in their bedrooms?

(52 Posts)
ellliebelle Thu 28-Jul-16 09:27:38

Because quite frankly their reaction makes me feel like I am!!!

So coming up to the end of our 2nd week of school holidays and dd1 (9), dd2 (6) and ds1 (3) have spent most of their time so far playing in the garden. This is great I have loved it. I have also taken them on walks, to the cinema, to a museum and to an art gallery to do crafts. We have had picnics and been out for lunch, o and both dd's have done a dancing holiday club for 3 half days.

Today they have got up and they don't know what to do with themselves, I have asked all 3 of them to play upstairs so I can get some bits done (we are going camping tomorrow so I need to pack/clean etc) the reaction from all 3 was one of utter shock. You'd think I'd asked them to cut their own arms off or something. Since I asked one of them has been back downstairs at least every 10 minutes, can we play out, can we watch TV, can we go on the tablet, is it lunch time, can we go to the park.....

How I'm supposed to get anything done I do not know.

So is it U for me to expect them to entertain themselves inside for the morning?

Sirzy Thu 28-Jul-16 09:30:29

If your wanting to get jobs done I would have no issue with tv/tablets for the morning to be honest.

davos Thu 28-Jul-16 09:32:10

But you are asking ten to entertain themseleves in a way you want them to. It's not what they want to do.

Why can't they watch to or have the tablet?

That's exactly what mine get when I need to get stuff done. Easier than making them do something they don't want to.

dementedpixie Thu 28-Jul-16 09:34:01

One never play in bedrooms. Let them watch TV and play tablets as you'll get more peace that way

BrandNewAndImproved Thu 28-Jul-16 09:34:41

My dc play on their tablets in their room when I want a bit of space from them. I know some people have a thing about being in the same room when they're playing on them but I know my dc are only playing Roadblocks or mine craft together.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 Thu 28-Jul-16 09:36:47

YANBU - it would be unreasonable if this is how they were spending the whole holiday- I'd be inclined to give them jobs to help prepare for tomorrow

DragonsEggsAreAllMine Thu 28-Jul-16 09:38:04

It's all of our homes so they get to play where they like. If I have jobs to be done that are easier to do alone I get up and do them before anybody else is up.

LittleLionMansMummy Thu 28-Jul-16 09:49:40

The only time ds plays in his bedroom is for 30 mins to an hour in the morning at weekends. The rest of the time he likes being around people - we don't necessarily have to be playing with him, he just likes to play with stuff near us and chat/ sing etc. He's a very outdoorsy child most of the time, so if I need to get things done I have no problem at all with him watching tv or playing on his Innotab or whatever for an hour. Or I enlist his help to get things done. If he gets sidetracked and doesn't end up helping then that's fine too - it keeps him occupied.

Gottagetmoving Thu 28-Jul-16 09:50:03

YANBU. They must have toys or games they can play with?
It is ONE day for goodness sake! Of course they should be able to entertain themselves. They could play imaginary games.
The result of always organising and entertaining kids is that they cannot do it for themselves.

timeisnotaline Thu 28-Jul-16 09:52:47

Of course kids should be able to entertain themselves but I don't really like kids playing in their bedrooms. I like them playing in the family spaces.

gabsdot Thu 28-Jul-16 09:56:16

When my DD tells me there's nothing to do in her room and it's boring, I tell her that I'll put all her toys in the attic if she doesn't play with them.
It always works and I have put toys in the attic

Laiste Thu 28-Jul-16 10:01:12

I turn the telly off and chuck kids out or upstairs when i want a bit of space am busy. What they do in or out there is then up to them.

I do ban screen time for the main chunk of the day when they're on holiday.

OhGodWhatTheHellNow Thu 28-Jul-16 10:01:21

Meh, of course they should entertain themselves as gotta says, you could go mad trying to fill 6 weeks with enriching experiences and learning how to cope with boredom is necessary. My two are currently playing some noisy game upstairs while I mumsnet sort the kitchen.
We are going to the park later, but this is actually a work site visit for me, and as it is coming down stair-rods I doubt we'll stay long! We 'll take a football and hopegrin

kiki22 Thu 28-Jul-16 10:02:15

My 4 year old is playing in his bedroom while I'm busy I dont think its too much to ask especially since you have 3 they can all play together.

99littleducks Thu 28-Jul-16 10:04:59

I don't wish to be rude but I'm a bit surprised by the replies of just stick the tv on. Ideally kids should be able to entertain themselves for a short time at least.

From my own experience I feel I have structured too many things for my kids which has resulted in them not knowing what to do unless I have instructed them that today we are doing x or going to y.
Now I intentionally leave them to it sometimes, give them a few ideas and let them get on with it. I believe it's good for their imagination to be "bored" sometimes.

So I would say YANBU to expect them to play in their rooms by themselves but as they are not in the habit of doing that, YWNBu to put the tv on so you can get your jobs done. But perhaps slowly try to give them time to just play independently so they are not reliant on you to provide the entertainment wink

Banana99 Thu 28-Jul-16 10:10:07

I let DD put a film on the tablet and she will play with it in the background in her room, occasionally I go in and the screen is turned around? I think she likes the noise

99littleducks Thu 28-Jul-16 10:10:53

dragonseggsareallmine I'm afraid getting all jobs done before kids are awake or when they are absent seems a little bit unrealistic to me. Plus it is healthy for kids to know and see that some jobs need to be done at a certain time even if it is not a convenient time for children or clashes with their playing. I don't think it's healthy to revolve every little thing around what children want.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Thu 28-Jul-16 10:15:24

I wouldn't really want a 3 year old playing upstairs in his bedroom TBH. I'd rather have him downstairs where I could keep an eye on him.

Unless all 3 DCs share a room and will all be playing together.

My DD - 4 almost 5 - will watch TV in the lounge or have some of her toys out in the lounge if I need to get things done. If you're going on a camping holiday tomorrow, presumable there will be no TV and minimal tablet use over the next few days? This morning won't hurt, and will make life easier for you!

NavyandWhite Thu 28-Jul-16 10:19:16

Mine have never played in their bedroom either.

Tbh I'd let them watch tv for a while so you can get your jobs done.

OhGodWhatTheHellNow Thu 28-Jul-16 10:23:16

Mine are playing on the laptop now - tempted to turn the WiFi off and tell him he's used up all the internet!
I'd drive them out with a stick send them out to play, we have a large wooded garden I would have killed for as a kid, but for the bloody rain.

tofutti Thu 28-Jul-16 10:26:11

Would they play happily in the garden or run in and out constantly?

Or is it a case of them wanting you to entertain them?

Jinxxx Thu 28-Jul-16 10:27:41

Why can't they play out in the garden? (I am fighting a constant battle to turf mine out of their bedrooms where they would happily skype their friends, watch videos and play games all day if allowed). I'd also give them some jobs to do to help get ready for the holiday.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 28-Jul-16 10:30:41

Blimey, it's the holidays a bit of telly won't hurt anyone!

BiddyPop Thu 28-Jul-16 10:34:04

DD finds it really hard to entertain herself in her room, despite there being loads up there to do.

Then she gets sent to bed at night, and can distract herself quite nicely for at least an hour if I don't go up and make sure she's gotten into bed!

She's 10.

I'd be inclined to tell them that you need to get things sorted for camping, but maybe they'd like to play in their rooms or sort the clothes or toys they want to bring with them? Or look on the tablet for things they can do while camping (suggest that the older one looks for nature stuff, or puts together a scavenger list or similar to do while there?).

HoneyDragon Thu 28-Jul-16 10:34:44

On days I want stuff done I send mine to tidy their rooms then tell them once it's done they can watch a movie/use the tablet (the big one had to help the small one till she was old enough).

If they'd done a good job they got squash and a small bowl of popcorn .... They thought they were getting a fab reward, I had them out from under my feet grin

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