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To wish there was a private bit of mumsnet

(55 Posts)
SookieandEric Wed 27-Jul-16 19:50:43

Where you could post your AIBU's without worrying they would be seen by someone involved or by the Dailymail?

Because I have one and really really need to know if i'm being U but even with changing details etc its still identifiable hmm

We should have a paid for private bit which would hopefully weed out any one but the hardcore MNers!

SaggyNaggy Wed 27-Jul-16 19:51:40

So.... What would stop the DM or people involved paying too?

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Wed 27-Jul-16 19:52:49

Oh I'm exactly the same. Far too identifying plus one person involved at least is a known MN user.

Just PM me and I'll tell you straight up YANBU

magimedi Wed 27-Jul-16 19:55:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheSecondOfHerName Wed 27-Jul-16 19:58:07

While we're here, what is the purpose of the section of Mumsnet called the Plughole?

Northernlurker Wed 27-Jul-16 19:58:11

Generally speaking if you wouldn't want it in the DM then you shouldn't put it online at all.

SookieandEric Wed 27-Jul-16 20:16:03

How have I never seen OTBT before?!

SookieandEric Wed 27-Jul-16 20:19:57

Well i'm just going to post it here but only the bare bones

Friend invited me somewhere (nay begged me to go). Bought ticket months ago. Friend now has new boyfriend and mentioned that he would like to come. He managed to get ticket. Friend mentioned today that her and boyfriend are celebrating something that day so would be going to dinner first and then onto event (meaning I have to travel to event on my own and meet them there). Friend has now text to say 'not sure what time we will get there if at all, sorry I know its awkward but he's not really bothered about going, feel bad leaving him after dinner to go meet you', but we might still go. Shall we give you a text after dinner and let you know.

I'm not BU am I? Thats pretty shitty behaviour?

TheSecondOfHerName Wed 27-Jul-16 20:21:47

Your 'friend' is rude and has little respect for you.

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 27-Jul-16 20:23:33

You've never seen OTBT before because that's the whole point grin doesn't come up in active threads, Google etc.

AppleMagic Wed 27-Jul-16 20:23:51

It is shitty behaviour. She's ditched you for a "better" offer.

(Not sure even the DM would think it interesting enough to publish though!)

emotionsecho Wed 27-Jul-16 20:25:40

Very shitty behaviour, particularly as she begged you to go.

Her new boyfriend is her priority not you. A decent friend would have told new boyfriend that she was going to the event with you, it was prearranged and she would see him another time.

Rainbunny Wed 27-Jul-16 20:27:11

YANBU! I hate it when a friend enters a new relationship and then changes all their priorities so that friends get shafted. We have a friend like that, gets so wrapped up in every new boyfriend and either blows us off at the last minute or brings him along to EVERYTHING even events that are really not meant for partners (she brought one guy along to a hen do, 20 women and the guy.) She backed out of a baby shower once as well because her bf wasn't interested (nor was he invited actually but she didn't seem to pick up on that distinction!)

Call her out on it and let her know how disappointed you are as you'd been looking forward to it and feel messed around by her.

SaggyNaggy Wed 27-Jul-16 20:28:11

As others have said.

Now be sure to file this under "lessons learned" and remember it next time friend needs something from you.

gamerchick Wed 27-Jul-16 20:28:32

Yep she's ditched you for a better offer.

text her back: 'so let me get this straight, you asked... No begged me to go to this thing and now you have a boyfriend you've ditched me in stages because you've got a better offer now?' Okay then and if you paid for your own ticket ask her for the money back and make other plans.

JacquettaWoodville Wed 27-Jul-16 20:28:43

Yup, shitty. Ask her to pay you back for the ticket.

annandale Wed 27-Jul-16 20:29:06

Apple, how can you say that? Off the top of my head...

After Brexit, are we going to need to rely on our friends more?

Why friendship has gone to hell in a handbasket since we joined the EU

Migrants and their different cultural attitudes - are British manners in terminal decline? [only works if the friend is from another country but hey she probably is/could make it up]

Why the sisterhood means nothing when there's a man involved and why that's completely natural

ThoraGruntwhistle Wed 27-Jul-16 20:29:13

It is extremely rude to make arrangements and then bail on them when you get a 'better' offer. Has her BF pressured her into this? Is she often unreliable?

RaspberryOverload Wed 27-Jul-16 20:29:23

Yes, very shitty of your 'friend' to do that.

Theknacktoflying Wed 27-Jul-16 20:30:14

Do you value her friendship? Does she add value to your life?

If yes - overlook/forgivd her the shitty behaviour.
If no - learn and move on.

She doesn't appear to be too cut up by her decision

FlowerOfTheWest Wed 27-Jul-16 20:30:23

Your friend's a twat. If you are not bothered about going to the event, can you sell your ticket to someone else and let the two of them get on with it?

Puzzledandpissedoff Wed 27-Jul-16 20:31:41

Just be aware that while OTBT might not come up on search engines, it's certainly visible to MNers ... and unfortunately plenty of journalists are members

Because of the slightly "hidden" nature, it might even be argued they're even more likely to keep an eye on it hmm

tofutti Wed 27-Jul-16 20:35:23

While we're here, what is the purpose of the section of Mumsnet called the Plughole?

Tell meeeeeeee

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 27-Jul-16 20:35:55

Yes good point puzzled!

SaggyNaggy Wed 27-Jul-16 20:38:19

I'd suggest doing the opposite to this thread op ...
I'd make an AIBU with every detail and hope they read it. I doubt they would get a lot of sympathy. grin

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