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To expect to be kept in the loop when someone takes DD out for the day?

(37 Posts)
NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:36:02

Collected this morning. Venue closes at 4pm so told "closes at 4 but they may get bored before then" and dh and I asked that taker text us when she left venue so we could make sure we were in to take her back.

No word. Not a jelly bean. It's 6.40pm.

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:36:44

I don't want hourly updates etc! By the way. Just a "we've had a good day, off to XX now for tea" or similar.

McButtonwillow Wed 27-Jul-16 18:39:20

Who's taken her out?

Lindy2 Wed 27-Jul-16 18:39:32

Who is she with?

VeryBitchyRestingFace Wed 27-Jul-16 18:41:01

WTF?? Your kid is missing?

(Shirley knot??)

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:42:24


I'd be the same with my own DM though so it genuinely isn't a MIL bashing thing!

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Wed 27-Jul-16 18:43:16

My DM used to be bad for that. Why on earth should she need to ask permission or give information about a trip with her own DGD?

We had many arguments about it. She has learned but you need to make sure the 'taker' knows your feelings on this and that it's not acceptable. Anything can happen ( not necessarily something that would be their fault)

Bloopbleep Wed 27-Jul-16 18:44:19

My mum does this - I'm told she "doesn't do time" and that I have to accept that.

I'd go to the pub and let your mother deal with that issue

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Wed 27-Jul-16 18:44:36

YANBU. I feel the same. Yes I'm grateful someone has taken my child out, yes I trust them, nonetheless I want to know where they've gone and roughly when they'll be back. I start panicking otherwise...

Bloopbleep Wed 27-Jul-16 18:44:45


NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:45:30

I'm at work so I messaged dh to text her and find out what's happening.

NeedACleverNN Wed 27-Jul-16 18:45:52

I get you.

My nan took Dd out to London two months ago and she has no phone so was not able to get in contact.

I knew she was safe and was enjoying herself but at the same time it would have been nice for a "just had dinner and we are getting the train home now. Dd has enjoyed her day. See you soon" text.

Corialanusburt Wed 27-Jul-16 18:46:13

I presume you've tried ringing her
I'm guessing MIL has form for this sort of thing and won't see the issue when DD is eventually returned.

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:46:40

Tbh I don't even think dh is that bothered

Birdsgottafly Wed 27-Jul-16 18:47:11

If it was another Parent, then yes, but not Family, who could keep hold of them, if you wasn't in.

Ideally a update txt, would happen. But I'm forever telling my DDs that I don't think to get my phone out, on a day out. Likewise my Mum took my DDs out before mobile phones and we managed.

As long as they were back for bedtime, I never worried.

Sirzy Wed 27-Jul-16 18:49:27

How old is dd? Chances are Nan has taken her out for tea or something.

LegoCaltrops Wed 27-Jul-16 18:50:10

I hate this, too. My PILs do it, & usually turn their phones to silent (including the house phone). Once they arrived home 5 hours late with our 2 year-old. It was a struggle to speak to them civilly when they breezed home, DD had slept for 2 hours in the car so wouldn't go to bed.

Hope they respond soon.

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:51:25

She will be 5 in 4 months.

Dh has messaged back to say they are on their way. Thank goodness.

And of course he won't say a word.

wasonthelist Wed 27-Jul-16 18:53:20

Yanbu except for saying "kept in the loop"

EssexMummy1234 Wed 27-Jul-16 18:53:46

At 2.5 hours late - i think you should leave a message on their phone saying that you are worried and they need to contact you.

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:54:16

grin I could have said "touch base". I'll "blue sky" this with MIL next time grin

EssexMummy1234 Wed 27-Jul-16 18:54:37

Ah just seen your update that's good - but why do you need your DH to have a word, why can't you explain that you were concerned and that in future you need to be kept in the loop.

NapQueen Wed 27-Jul-16 18:56:11

Because I'm not there I am at work.

GreatFuckability Wed 27-Jul-16 18:58:26

I don't see the issue myself. people survived forever without texting.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Wed 27-Jul-16 19:01:37

They did, but now we have the technology and many people like to use it. Humanity survived without most modern medicines but few people would scrap them.

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