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With in laws

(13 Posts)
user1468244773 Wed 27-Jul-16 16:36:03

Had a baby last week.

Dfil lives in a different country and is over ATM to see his parents etc.

Dfil and dgps decided to come and see us on Saturday in hospital after I had the baby. They traveled along way to us. But stayed for 20 mins meeting the baby/me then left.

I'm still upset about it. Dp hasn't seen his father since Xmas and won't now until next Xmas. They have never met me/baby. It wasn't their choice to leave so soon. It was the grandparents choice. They aren't old etc so no reason to rush off. Im really hurt for my dp.

DollyBarton Wed 27-Jul-16 16:37:40

Maybe they were thinking of you and the fact that most people wouldn't like 3 in laws visiting them in hospital directly after the birth for 5 mins let alone 20 or longer....

DollyBarton Wed 27-Jul-16 16:39:05

I think the fact that they came a long way to see you shows that they recognised the importance of your babies birth and the fact that they only stayed 20mins shows that they respected your privacy and need for a quiet time with your newborn and to recover.

MiddleClassProblem Wed 27-Jul-16 16:40:00

I would see is as them not wanting to intrude to much on a new family. How lovely of them to come all that way to see you. DP should call Fil to see if he can fit in a visit before he goes but if not possible then it's ok to be disappointed but no more imo. Dp didn't arrange to see Fil so why is it all one way?

KittyLaRoux Wed 27-Jul-16 16:40:57

Most women after just having a baby dont want visitors straight away or for a month if you live in MN world so maybe they made a quick visit on your behalf.

MiddleClassProblem Wed 27-Jul-16 16:41:46

Sorry op didn't mean to end so harsh on you but keep in mind that you are tired and still adjusting that you have taken this more to heart than you should. It's normal to have hightened emmotianally at the mo.

davos Wed 27-Jul-16 16:44:37

Tbh a lot of people on mn would be furious that anyone had turned up unexpected at the hospital.

My grandad cane to the hospital. I found it easier than having him and whoever had to transport him. He didn't stay long. But came quite a way. I appreciated that he did.

I think Yabu, they came a long way to see your child. They didn't overstay their welcome. Which most people would appreciate and given you soace.

It's what most people want. I would appreciate what they did.

user1468244773 Wed 27-Jul-16 16:50:11

I do appreciate it so much. Just wanted to see them all for abit longer sad I was being discharged on Saturday which they knew. It was nice seeing them. I get on well with grandparents so i like seeing them.

MadamDeathstare Wed 27-Jul-16 16:55:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

davos Wed 27-Jul-16 16:55:50

I don't understand you say they came to see you and the baby. Then that they haven't met you and the baby. Then that you get on with them.

If your dps grandparents live in this country invite them up when you are are ready.

What is it that you wanted them to do? Stay longer? Visit again?

I think they did the right thing with a short visit to someone who had given birth and they did it to be kind. Rather than not interested. I would assume they did it out of kindness and put it out of your mind.

MiddleClassProblem Wed 27-Jul-16 17:40:27

What pp said, you haven't met but get on well?

user1468244773 Wed 27-Jul-16 18:06:24

Sorry! I hadn't met dps father. I have met grandparents and get on well with them x

davos Wed 27-Jul-16 18:08:58

So did your fil not see the baby?

I think Yabu. I can see why they didn't stay. You have just given birth, with your new baby and never met your fil.

Did you not meet him when he came last Christmas?

Maybe it's hormones. But don't cling onto this and let it ruin the early newborn days.

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