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Unruly DS or strict parents?

(143 Posts)
ElenaRenault Tue 26-Jul-16 19:58:31

DS had a sleepover tonight, but I've just had to go and pick him up.

DS is 9 and was along with 4 other boys invited for a sleepover tonight, we're not very close to the family but accepted the invite as DS wanted to go and 2/4 invited boys are very close friends of his.

Drop off was at 4 and around 7pm parents phoned asking if I could pick DS up as he was being unruly and instigating disruptive behaviour.

I apologised and drove over straight away, when I got there 3/4 boys invited had all their stuff packed and we're waiting to be collected, I apologised again and asked what he'd done exactly.

They said DS kicked a ball into the garden from the kitchen, was playing tag in the living room and was egging on one of the other boys when parents were trying to discipline him.

DS can be disruptive and they had every right to ask him to be collected, but would you have done the same.

RubbleBubble00 Tue 26-Jul-16 19:59:45

If they only have 1 ds then probably a shock having 4 in the house lol

PotOfYoghurt Tue 26-Jul-16 20:04:22

Sounds like their issue of the majority of the boys were being collected.

Aren't sleepovers times when you just stick a film on/plug in Minecraft and leave them to it?

PeggyMitchell123 Tue 26-Jul-16 20:04:27

Your ds might have been a bit much but aren't they all at a sleepover when you put a group of children together. They get excited, energetic and egg each other on, surely you have to expect some of it when you host a sleepover. I personally would have chucked them all out in the garden and hoped they wore themselves out.

The only time I would send a child home would be if he was deliberately being disruptive and wrecking my home/annoying the others. I would have to be right at the end of my tether with the child to send them home early.

Artandco Tue 26-Jul-16 20:04:36

I probably would have done tbh. They had obviously asked them not to do that, and running around house and kicking balls indoors isn't really on

They probably assumed it would go on into the evening, and it was easier to cancel early on whilst parents all awake and collect

At 9 years old I would be very annoyed with him for not respecting others homes and rules

hastheworldgonemad Tue 26-Jul-16 20:06:28

Silly buggers! You have lads in the house and it gets messy. Seriously they can't control a gaggle of 9 year olds. Sounds like the kids were bored.

They sound precious.

Amelie10 Tue 26-Jul-16 20:06:57

Yes he was being unruly, it's not good behaviour to be kicking around a ball inside someone's home is it? Also he was egging another boy on, he seemed badly behaved and a bit disrespectful at 9yo.

Brightnorthernlights Tue 26-Jul-16 20:07:17

Sounds like they got a bit over excited. Unfortunately can happen if you have 5 nine year olds together for a sleepover!

Not the biggest fan of sleepovers for that age group, but when I did, learnt my lesson early on that no more than one child at a time would be invited!

Buggers Tue 26-Jul-16 20:07:22

It depends.. how was your son egging another kid on whilst they were being told off? If he was being rude to the parents then I agree he should have been sent home. Why was he kicking a ball around in their house??

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 Tue 26-Jul-16 20:07:32

Lesson learned for the boys - wouldn't have done it myself though!!!!

FuzzyOwl Tue 26-Jul-16 20:09:31

I guess it depends how many times they asked him to stop misbehaving. I would have got to the stage where I would have said that one more thing and I would call the parents, and I would have done, but there would have been fair warning. Groups of children, summer holidays and sleepovers are all times I expect a bit of mayhem though.

Udderz Tue 26-Jul-16 20:09:41

Yes I would have sent him home. I bet the mother only told you about some of his poor behaviour and you'd probably have had to have been there to fully understand. It sounds like all four were a nightmare!!! Your son needs to learn to behave and didn't respond to the normal level of discipline given. Why should the parents life be made hell for the night? They were prepared to kindly give up their time and home but the kids were clearly taking the piss. I hope your son has learnt his lesson. At 9 he should know how to be polite and well behaved, hes not a small toddler.

OurBlanche Tue 26-Jul-16 20:10:54

I'd imagine they now know they can't handle sleepover groups and they will stick to just the 1 guest from now on.

And your DS has learned that if he isn't a good guest, if he doesn't reign it in a bit and stop playing silly buggers in other peoples houses, he will get sent home and the invitations will dry up. A good lesson to learn at 9 years old!

ElenaRenault Tue 26-Jul-16 20:12:49

Buggers, other boy was a bouncing a ball in the living room when the Mum told him to give it back several times, DS kept telling him not to.

He shouldn't have been kicking a ball at all, shows a massive lack of respect, I'm not surprised that they phoned, I just personally wouldn't have done it for those reasons.

HeffalumpHistory Tue 26-Jul-16 20:13:16

Yes he should probably have behaved a bit but as pp said, 5 9yo together for w sleepover is going to result in major excitement & egging each other on.

If parents react that ott I'd be glad my ds isn't staying tbh.

Udderz Tue 26-Jul-16 20:14:43

9 is old enough to know to moderate behaviour in other peoples houses or to adapt to new rules. Plain rudeness (like egging on other boys who are being told off) is completely unacceptable and would make me think what a vile child

mummymummums Tue 26-Jul-16 20:15:15

Four is a lot for a sleepover and I speak from experience. However, I would only call parents if all else failed - giving warnings etc. If they didn't warn him they'd send him home if he continued, then I'd say they were v unreasonable. If they did clearly warn him, and he carried on then I think that's fair enough.

Buggers Tue 26-Jul-16 20:15:29

He told the other child not to give it to the mum?? That's awful behaviour for a 9yr old, I'm shocked you have to ask. That's really really rude and disrespectful.

Lunar1 Tue 26-Jul-16 20:18:25

I wouldn't call for the initial stuff, but egging the other child on while he is being told off is absolutely disgraceful behaviour. At 9 he should know better, I'd be mortified at that.

alreadytaken Tue 26-Jul-16 20:20:14

I once made a child leave the shared bedroom and go and sleep elsewhere because I'd given many warnings and they were keeping everyone in the house awake. But it was 3 a.m so didnt feel I could call the parents then. Mother complained that the child was upset but tough.

Udderz Tue 26-Jul-16 20:21:16

At least the boys will know to follow instructions when they next visit her home. She sounds like a straight forward parent as she expects directions to be followed or there are consequences. Better then parenting with empty threats

alreadytaken Tue 26-Jul-16 20:21:19

that's a vote for unruly child, btw.

Amelie10 Tue 26-Jul-16 20:23:01

So he ignored the mum and kept egging the boy on? No wonder he is so disrespectful if you have to ask. He sounds like a naughty , unruly boy. You should be embarrassed he has done that.

ElenaRenault Tue 26-Jul-16 20:24:34

I suppose I've just had kids do all sorts of things that they normally never would at sleepovers that I see it as behaviour to expect

ElenaRenault Tue 26-Jul-16 20:26:24

I didn't kick off about like one of the other parents, it was his own fault and I made him apologise, doubt he'll get an invite again

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