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(16 Posts)
hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 21:09:45

Ok so i have no idea what the pertinent bits were i missed out of the last thread and see not much point attempting a second discussuon. My phone died on the bus so i probably missed something relevant on the messages.

However for whoever i offended for wondering why people seem to hate pushchairs

A. DS is on 02 and NG. Not only can i not collapse his pushchair on my own due to his equiptment but also people tend to recoil for holding small people with tubes who tbey don't know so i wouldn't expe t anyone to help.
B. I think it's great our local train station which just had a huge upgrade has invested in two types of disabled toilets - standard extra access ones and ones with hoists. I think its ridiculous that i cannot pee anywhere with pushchair cos clearly i don't want to use the disabled toilets cos they're not meant for me, but i can't leave a clingy toddler ourside with all his equiptment given he's a tube puller and it's not the kind of area where i'd leave my purse. If i use disabled (with permission from keo holder and honesty about my reasons) or i leave door open and baby in front i get disapproved of but why does no one think about how many parents use shopping centres on their own with pushchairs? Just ine sodding cubicle in standard toilets big enough flr us both would be great! Ok if they had limited budget they'd prioritise other things but they just spent millions.
C. On buses the arguement of wheelchairs vs pushchairs is overdone and varies with each bus. Some of ours have designated pushchair areas, some make it clear you are expected to get off if a disabled person needs it. Fair enough. However in the posts of bloody mothers with pushchairs, where is the empathy of why many of us can't "just" collapse due to childs age, health, quantity, our own disabilities etc? Where is the arguement for more fold away seats cos able bodied non pushchair pushers are just as capable of walking as pushchaor pushers? I suspect its the assumption that what they need to do is more urgent.
However our first week out pf hospital (fingers crossed) i will have to important medical appoinments on different days in different areas which are two buses each way. I will leave early to accomodate lack of access but will still get tutted at for daring to use a bus with a pushchair at a time of day that is genrally not commuter to work time.

I'm not sire what else i wrote that was percieved offensive or omitted but pertinent and i'm fairly sure anyone who bothered opening this has died of boredome but it felt cathartic to me!

It does seem sometimes tgat anyone who has an opion is percieved as trying to put everyone else down. This bad thibg happe ed to .e is not a judgement on what happe ed to you, its just a persepctive on my day or life.

Anyway, i'm boring ever myself now

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 21:11:35

And i'd apologise re typo's but i've already forgiven myself

Kpo58 Mon 25-Jul-16 21:16:04

I'd be tempted to put a sign on the pushchair saying "This is a wheelchair masquerading as a pushchair".

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 21:20:12

I just realised that one of the points was that i didn't describe ds as disabled. Cos i don't - yes he has things that make it harder like his o2 and ng but i don't know - is it stupid of me to not think of him being disabled? I would struggle arguing with someone with a disability on a bus that ds should be there cos of his needs.

Kpo58 Mon 25-Jul-16 21:29:38

He has extra needs that need catering for.

Many disabled don't think of themselves that way. There just might be a few adaptations needed to be able to do things normally (or as normal as possible).

Toddlerteaplease Mon 25-Jul-16 21:29:39

I would say that having a pushchair loaded up with oxygen cylinders and medical equipment is enough reason for you to not have to fold it up the pushchair on a bus and also to use disabled toilets.

WiddlinDiddlin Mon 25-Jul-16 21:30:04

As far as toileting needs, your DS is disabled whether you want to use that word or not.

Some peoples ONLY disabilities are related to using the toilet, for example someone made need more space to empty a bag or clean up and thats why they use the disabled loos...

I know someone who looks pretty mobile but wears full length calipers and has to use the disabled loos as theres not enough room to sort them out so he can sit down in a normal cubicle.

Disabled toilets are NOT just for people in wheelchairs or people who have severe disabilities that affect every aspect of their life.

Go get yourself a RADAR key and use the disabled loos - this isn't a 'pushchair' issue at all... this is your deal with the concept of 'disabled'.

WiddlinDiddlin Mon 25-Jul-16 21:31:35

Here - RADAR key, now you never need to go and ask someone in the motorway services or shopping centre again.


hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 21:34:51

Agree fully with last sentence widdlin and re other disabilities DM has a permanent stoma so i know that really but for reasons far to emotional and irrational for a beating on here i just figure we should just suck it up

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 21:36:15

Thanks Widdlin!

I have had a bus driver look at DS and tell me i can get on if i collapse pushchair. I was rather snarky. Thankfully another mom came down bus having a go at driver and asking how he expected me to do that. She promptly collapsed hers and put her dc on her lap

WiddlinDiddlin Mon 25-Jul-16 22:05:54

In the nicest possible way... You need to go and have a word with yourself...

Detach yourself from the horrible connotations surrounding 'disabled' - it takes a while and I have to admit when I first realised and admitted it applied to ME.. omg ... I was not happy about it, Did not like it, would not use it...

Long story short, made myself and my life miserable and limited until I gave myself a firm kick up the arse and got on with things.

Its just a word, a word that can usefully give people a clue that your needs are ((or the person you are caring for) perhaps a bit different to most peoples but otherwise.. its just a word.

Personally, I translate disabled as 'extra frigging marvellous in every way.. and shit hot down hill on a smooth surface' but thats just me ... pick your own meaning!

WiddlinDiddlin Mon 25-Jul-16 22:08:13

Gah I answered the phone in the middle of that, I had a point.. the point was..

because its just a word, use it - next time a bus driver says that just say 'sorry but we can't do this, my son/child/octopus/mother/alien is disabled and this is what he uses as a wheelchair'..

Say it with a huge grin and a cheery tone and carry on as you were.

End of problem. smile

PurpleDaisies Mon 25-Jul-16 22:15:01

I have had a bus driver look at DS and tell me i can get on if i collapse pushchair.

The answer is just to tell them your son has additional needs and the pushchair is equivalent to a wheelchair.

The issue with your last thread was in your opening post you were very angry at being asked to collapse your pushchair without mentioning you had a very good reason why that wasn't possible. People rightly get annoyed with people who think their right not to collapse their pushchair trumps a wheelchair user's right to occupy the dedicated wheelchair space on the bus. It looked a bit like you were trying to start a fight, but it seems now like it was a genuine mistake. smile

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 23:27:10

Widdlin i got over it enough to claim DLA for him, though i cried when i did the first one. I think its just cos he doesn'r know it - he's just my flipping awesome hero - and i never want him to think anything sets his limits but him but then it is MY responsibility for him to own his issues. I assume his extra chromosomes all went into cuteness and awesomeness anyway grin

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 23:29:00

Yes purple and i did sayater om but i get people get pissy and don't necessarily read or believe the bits added. Sometimes i forget how utterly extreme mn can be!

hazeimcgee Mon 25-Jul-16 23:50:55

Say later on

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