To not want to hold a piece of rubbish?

[Daisygarden]

Went on day out with DH and kids. Baby was ready for milk so DH opens a ready carton (with a lid) and pours it into bottle. Baby happy in pram drinking milk, DH takes the pram but hands me the empty carton. I was looking at the kids whilst DH was doing the milk so I turned round to find DH handing me an empty carton and starting to push the pram off.

I went to tuck the empty carton (lid on) into the pram basket to find a bin for it later. DH swings the pram around so I can't put the carton in the basket and says "Just hold onto it! There's a bin over there!" (there was a bin around 50m away). I said "Well, I'll put it in the bin when we get to it!" DH was annoyed and said "Can't you just hold onto it? It's just a carton". I said "I don't want to hold onto it, I'll put it in the bin when we get there!" DH much annoyed and started grumbling about how I can't hold a carton for two seconds etc. I said it wasn't up to him and if I didn't want to hold it I wouldn't. DH said I was being precious and ridiculous. PS I do the bins, the gardens, all the dirty jobs in the house so I am NOT at all precious about rubbish or mess, DH is actually far more precious than me about not getting his hands dirty.

I felt he was being dictatorial. He felt I should just have hung onto the carton he handed me. This caused bad feeling and a hissing row (yes we were that couple!) on our day out.

WIBU?

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

You were both being utterly ridiculous.

[Daisygarden]

Thanks Felicia.

[ThinkPinkStink]

What? Really?

I'm going to throw it out there, I don't think the carton is the issue here.

[MoMandaS]

Are you both a bit sleep deprived, by any chance?

[Daisygarden]

It wasn't, Think, but DH thinks it was.

[Amelie10]

You both sound absolutely irritating. You actually took the time to write that drivel out.

[Daisygarden]

MoManda - DH is v stressed and tired at the moment.

[Daisygarden]

Amelie - there's a bigger picture, but..

[Floggingmolly]

[ChicRock]

Wow that must have been a fun day out for your kids.

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

This has the makings of a very funny TV sketch .

But that said, if you're often bickering like this then the carton is the least of your troubles.

[Daisygarden]

Bigger picture (maybe I need to spell it out). I feel treated like an assistant more and more (SAHM). I feel like DH is was annoyed because I didn't do as he had decided I would do. It's not about the carton. It's about power.

[Daisygarden]

It was thanks, Chicrock, apart from the one squabble.

[emilybrontescorset]

Why didn't your dh hold the empty carton?

Does he regard you as the rubbish sorter outer?

[Witchend]

Sounds like the sort of conversations the children would have when they were younger. Much younger.

[MoMandaS]

I think, for him, it is about the carton and for you, it isn't. When he's a bit more relaxed, talk to him in more general terms about how he behaves with you when under stress.

[Daisygarden]

Thanks buffalogrumble. I know it is minutae but I worry about the attitude behind it a bit.

Witchend There would have been no behaving like children if I had just been a good little girl and taken the carton without a word.

[MoMandaS]

What would he have done if you'd said, "tell you what, you hold the carton while I push the pram"?

[listsandbudgets]

Honestly?

You're a mum - get used to it. By the time your baby is a toddler they will be mistaking you for a dustbin. Your pockets will constantly return home full of bannana skins, crisp packets, ice lolly wrappers, mucky tissues, broken balloons and who knows what else? (Actualy I can see you've got older kids so you probably know this)

Sorry things are stressed between you and dh though, I hope things can get sorted out. I think the carton is the least of your worries

[DrWhy]

I assume he didn't want dribbles of milk from the empty carton getting into the pram basket or wherever else you put it. If the bin was only 50m away I would have expected whoever was not pushing the pram to just carry it.

[Daisygarden]

emily yes he does! I don't know why he didn't hold it himself, I would?!

MoManda you are probably right there. He just saw it as the carton. I just didn't see why he would have a problem with me putting it in the basket. He was actually annoyed?! that I didn't hold it. I don't get that either. Why should he care or even notice?!

[datingbarb]

What Amelie10 said!

[laurzj82]

Is this real? Just re-read what you've written. This is not about a carton is it?

[Daisygarden]

DrWhy it had a lid which was fixed back on. No dribbles. (totally understandable if there wasn't a lid, but there was).