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To not want to hold a piece of rubbish?

(104 Posts)
Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:09:17

Went on day out with DH and kids. Baby was ready for milk so DH opens a ready carton (with a lid) and pours it into bottle. Baby happy in pram drinking milk, DH takes the pram but hands me the empty carton. I was looking at the kids whilst DH was doing the milk so I turned round to find DH handing me an empty carton and starting to push the pram off.

I went to tuck the empty carton (lid on) into the pram basket to find a bin for it later. DH swings the pram around so I can't put the carton in the basket and says "Just hold onto it! There's a bin over there!" (there was a bin around 50m away). I said "Well, I'll put it in the bin when we get to it!" DH was annoyed and said "Can't you just hold onto it? It's just a carton". I said "I don't want to hold onto it, I'll put it in the bin when we get there!" DH much annoyed and started grumbling about how I can't hold a carton for two seconds etc. I said it wasn't up to him and if I didn't want to hold it I wouldn't. DH said I was being precious and ridiculous. PS I do the bins, the gardens, all the dirty jobs in the house so I am NOT at all precious about rubbish or mess, DH is actually far more precious than me about not getting his hands dirty.

I felt he was being dictatorial. He felt I should just have hung onto the carton he handed me. This caused bad feeling and a hissing row (yes we were that couple!) on our day out.


FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 25-Jul-16 13:10:31

You were both being utterly ridiculous.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:11:11

Thanks Felicia.

ThinkPinkStink Mon 25-Jul-16 13:11:22

What? Really?

I'm going to throw it out there, I don't think the carton is the issue here.

MoMandaS Mon 25-Jul-16 13:11:47

Are you both a bit sleep deprived, by any chance?

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:12:11

It wasn't, Think, but DH thinks it was.

Amelie10 Mon 25-Jul-16 13:12:20

You both sound absolutely irritating. You actually took the time to write that drivel out.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:13:11

MoManda - DH is v stressed and tired at the moment.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:13:37

Amelie - there's a bigger picture, but..

Floggingmolly Mon 25-Jul-16 13:14:22


ChicRock Mon 25-Jul-16 13:14:57

Wow that must have been a fun day out for your kids.

RedHareWithBlondeHair Mon 25-Jul-16 13:14:58

This has the makings of a very funny TV sketch grin.

But that said, if you're often bickering like this then the carton is the least of your troubles.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:15:57

Bigger picture (maybe I need to spell it out). I feel treated like an assistant more and more (SAHM). I feel like DH is was annoyed because I didn't do as he had decided I would do. It's not about the carton. It's about power.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:16:34

It was thanks, Chicrock, apart from the one squabble.

buffalogrumble Mon 25-Jul-16 13:16:55

flowers it sounds like you're having a rough time. Tbh from your post it seems a bit blown out of proportion but I guess it's different when you're in the middle of it all.

emilybrontescorset Mon 25-Jul-16 13:16:56

Why didn't your dh hold the empty carton?

Does he regard you as the rubbish sorter outer?

Witchend Mon 25-Jul-16 13:17:07

Sounds like the sort of conversations the children would have when they were younger. Much younger.

MoMandaS Mon 25-Jul-16 13:17:21

I think, for him, it is about the carton and for you, it isn't. When he's a bit more relaxed, talk to him in more general terms about how he behaves with you when under stress.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:19:02

Thanks buffalogrumble. I know it is minutae but I worry about the attitude behind it a bit.

Witchend There would have been no behaving like children if I had just been a good little girl and taken the carton without a word.

MoMandaS Mon 25-Jul-16 13:19:39

What would he have done if you'd said, "tell you what, you hold the carton while I push the pram"?

listsandbudgets Mon 25-Jul-16 13:20:17


You're a mum - get used to it. By the time your baby is a toddler they will be mistaking you for a dustbin. Your pockets will constantly return home full of bannana skins, crisp packets, ice lolly wrappers, mucky tissues, broken balloons and who knows what else? (Actualy I can see you've got older kids so you probably know this)

Sorry things are stressed between you and dh though, I hope things can get sorted out. I think the carton is the least of your worries

DrWhy Mon 25-Jul-16 13:21:04

I assume he didn't want dribbles of milk from the empty carton getting into the pram basket or wherever else you put it. If the bin was only 50m away I would have expected whoever was not pushing the pram to just carry it.

Daisygarden Mon 25-Jul-16 13:21:22

emily yes he does! I don't know why he didn't hold it himself, I would?!

MoManda you are probably right there. He just saw it as the carton. I just didn't see why he would have a problem with me putting it in the basket. He was actually annoyed?! that I didn't hold it. I don't get that either. Why should he care or even notice?!

datingbarb Mon 25-Jul-16 13:21:33

What Amelie10 said!

laurzj82 Mon 25-Jul-16 13:21:47

Is this real? Just re-read what you've written. This is not about a carton is it?

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