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Play scheme worker forced DS into her car

(639 Posts)
Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:42:51

My 8 yo DS is in a holiday playscheme, there are two workers there I know. I employ the first one to drive DS home for me at the end of the day. The second one is her boss.

Two days ago, the first one was called away by a family emergency, and unable to drive DS home. The second one made him get into her car against his will, and she drove him home.

I rang her up that night, very very angry. I have taught DS never to get into anyone's car without my express permission, even if he knows them. He was very distressed, and said he had tried to resist and argue, but she had irresistibly over ruled him and forced him in.

When I spoke to the second worker on Friday, she got very offended, and said she thought she was doing a favour for a friend. I am however going to make a formal complaint. She probably was a friend, of sorts, we have been using that play scheme for years,and got to know each other well.

Even so, AIBU to think she should have rung me, and given me the option of leaving work early as a one off emergency, or giving DS permission to get in her car

FuckJeffGoldblumMan Sun 24-Jul-16 23:44:41

How did she force him?

That's what matters

Idontknowwhoiam Sun 24-Jul-16 23:45:15

I'd be grateful she took him home.
You've known her for years and you're worried about her doing a favour? This makes no sense.
I think yabu

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 24-Jul-16 23:45:28

How exactly did she force him?

ItWentInMyEye Sun 24-Jul-16 23:46:09

Yanbu. They should have phoned you and given you the option to collect or give your express permission to your DS. Hope he is ok and forgets about it quickly.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 24-Jul-16 23:46:58

I think she did what she thought best in unforseen circumstances.

SoleBizzz Sun 24-Jul-16 23:47:15

So she should have done what else instead?

Fanfeck Sun 24-Jul-16 23:47:50


Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:48:02

I don't think she physically touched him. She boxed him in with one hand on the edge of the door and one on the door frame so he couldn't escape, and shouted at him until he got in. Her attitude is that he was being naughty to refuse. But I have always told him to refuse to get into a car, unless i have said he can, even if he knows the driver.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Sun 24-Jul-16 23:48:52

Your fault entirely.

It's utterly ridiculous that your son wouldn't get into her car in that situation. You should be apologising to her, not reporting her fgs.

ReginaBlitz Sun 24-Jul-16 23:49:13

Would you rather she had left him on his own and fucked off home? Seriously.

Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:49:47

I think she did what she thought best in unforseen circumstances. I think she did too, however it SHOULDN'T be what she thinks best, to force a child into her car without the parents permission.

Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:50:56

So she should have done what else instead? rung me? she had several hours notice, I could easily have got parental leave.

AbyssinianBanana Sun 24-Jul-16 23:51:16

Why did the first one not speak with your DS and explain the other person would be driving him home?

Why did she not contact you to tell you she is unable to complete the service you are employing her for (to drive him home)?

You should be making a formal complaint against worker one, who abandoned your son at the activity failing to inform you she was unable to take him home.

Worker two did you a favour by taking your son home. It's not her fault the person who you employ didn't call and inform you.

FuckJeffGoldblumMan Sun 24-Jul-16 23:51:20

So she just told him to get in?

That's not forcing. And if you don't trust your child in her car then why send him there? She's your employees boss and did something as a favour for you.

Fairuza Sun 24-Jul-16 23:51:33

Poor boy, it must have been very frightening for him.

Not sure why you are getting the responses you are getting. Even if she thought she was doing you a favour, normal people wouldn't shout at a distressed child to make them get into their car. She should have called you.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Sun 24-Jul-16 23:51:55

The parent that wants that much control should be there to collect them then, not relying on others.

SoleBizzz Sun 24-Jul-16 23:52:19

TOTALLY OTT and your DS seems petrified of people. What a shame fir him.

AtSea1979 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:52:20

She should have called you but under the circumstances it was a rash decision not something to complain about.

Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 23:52:27

you're worried about her doing a favour

not worried about her doing me a favour, I am worried that she made a child get into her car when she didn't have permission to

SoleBizzz Sun 24-Jul-16 23:53:04

The boss drove him home.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Sun 24-Jul-16 23:53:49

She didn't know 'for hours' that your son was going to make a big fat fuss over being driven home by her instead of the other play worker.

You leave him in her care everyday fgs

Wolfiefan Sun 24-Jul-16 23:53:50

A formal complaint? For giving your child a lift home. Um no.
I wouldn't be happy he was shouted at though.

Chikara Sun 24-Jul-16 23:54:03

YABU - she works there. He knows her. You were not there. Yes, she could have phoned you but when you hand over responsibility to someone you have to allow them to make decisions in your place.

Fairuza Sun 24-Jul-16 23:54:23

No way would I insist a distressed child got in my car, if I didn't usually drive them anywhere and hadn't spoken to their parents.

Equipping children with the ability to keep themselves safe (like not getting in people's cars and going off with anyone without telling their parents) isn't controlling, it's normal parenting.

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