DH has been at his brother's wedding in Asia. I didn't go as we couldn't afford it. (We have 5 children). I could maybe have taken the baby, but the 3 year old is going through a difficult patch (lots of meltdowns and tantrums) and my gut instinct was that it would not have been fair to leave her and would, most probably have exacerbated jealousy issues and existing clinginess.
DH always assumed that he would be going. Despite the fact it would cost over £1500 and would mean that we would have no money left for any sort of family holiday this summer.
I was never very happy about it and now I am upset because while I have been dealing with hot children, tantruming, squabbling and knee-deep in the detritus and grunge of 5 young kids, as well as been taking various calls from clients for him and sorting out issues, he has been waxing lyrical about how great a time he has been having and how it's all been so interesting. It's a country I've never been to and would love to have gone.
In particular he recorded a video which was supposedly a joke, saying that the new in-laws are threatening to come around to visit at any time so we need to keep the house pristine. Which has grated given that it feels as though I do most of the housework anyway.
I sent him a series of angry texts, about how upset I am that we aren't actually going to get any sort of holiday this year (although he wants us to go and stay at the in laws for a couple of weeks in a remote part of Wales) and how insensitive he has been over this whole trip. He was hoping that I would take him to and from the airport (40 miles away) including a 7am pick up, which would mean getting the kids up at 4am. It would have been a 'loving thing to do' though he gets now it was an unreasonable request.
He claims that the trip wasn't about having fun but about 'family' and that he does his best to put us first most of the time. He cannot believe that I am so upset about him attending his brother's wedding. What I am upset about is his spending at least £1500 on a trip just for him meaning the rest of us miss out and thinking this is perfectly reasonable. I've also been struggling a little bit with depression recently which he knows and being left on my own with all the kids on summer holiday has been hard.
I am upset because he made no attempt to make it up to me in any way and I've even had to remind him that he ought to get something, even if it's cheap sweets from a supermarket, for the children. He just thought that I should suck it up sweetly.
I've been really upset seeing the hashtag of the wedding all over social media and I can't face 2 weeks at my ILs (who are perfectly nice) on best behaviour, listening to how it was all so wonderful. Especially as when the weather is bad there is nothing to do where they live and not even their garden is safe. (It's a smallholding, lots of concealed dew ponds, tractors going up and down etc). I really could not have gone, it felt like it would have been totally unfair on both my 3 year old and my parents for looking after a boisterous 6,5 and 3 year old for week.
AIBU or spoilt for being resentful and feeling our summer is ruined?
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Overseas wedding
73 replies
morecakepleaseImBritish · 24/07/2016 19:54
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