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AIBU to think they should have stayed at home?!

(36 Posts)
MinnietheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 19:47:43

I'm feeling pretty cross with a friend from a baby group, and wondering if I'm being over sensitive due to recent stresses? Can you let me know you thoughts (kindly If possible!).

My 9mo DD had 2 lots of neurosurgery in June as part of management of a genetic condition. Unfortunately she developed a post op infection after the second one and we had a week back in hospital on IV antibiotics, and more to take home. All in all be have been missing from usual baby groups for around 6 weeks.

Once I decided she was well enough to socialise I invited everyone from he group to my house for a play date as we had both really missed them. We all had a lovey day, and it was lovely to see so many there to celebrate her being well.

Today (4days post event) I woke at 5AM to find my DD covered in vomit, she's been sick all day and has a fever too.

Now here's the thing, one of the people who came had aplenty told others that her DS had a tummy bug for the 2 days before and has stopped having D&V the night before.

Am I the only one that would keep my child away from others for 48 hours after symptoms to avoid the spread? Another LG who came has also woken at 6 this morning covered in sick and still being very ill.

I feel especially annoyed as she knows how poorly my little girl has been. She just doesn't need this.

Now am I overreacting due to recent stresses? Or was she out of order?
Sorry for the rant!

MinnietheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 19:49:18

*apparently, not aplenty!

Stradbroke Sun 24-Jul-16 19:50:46

But you knew she had been ill and didn't ask them to leave so you have to take some of the responsibility I think. I hope your DD gets better soon. It's not nice when they are ill.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 24-Jul-16 19:51:12

She was very out of order. Hope dd is better soon flowers

neolara Sun 24-Jul-16 19:51:33

Yes. Yanbu. Not good form.on her behalf at all.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 24-Jul-16 19:52:01

strad no she didn't, read again. The woman 'had apparently told others'

gamerchick Sun 24-Jul-16 19:52:22

Lacking common sense it seems confused

WeirdAndPissedOff Sun 24-Jul-16 19:53:02

YANBU - it really winds me up when people do this!

Gizlotsmum Sun 24-Jul-16 19:54:08

I wouldn't be impressed. A minimum of 24 hours would be reasonable

MinnietheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 19:54:13

I didn't know he had been ill so recently until they were already here Stradbroke.
Too late then, been paying for a couple of hours.
I disinfected everything after everyone left, but can't stop kids of that age playing.

elodie2000 Sun 24-Jul-16 19:56:20

She should have stayed away. Did she offer to do this? Before she came? If not, she should have phoned you in the am and told you her child had been ill. You could have then told her it would be best if you met up at another time.

elodie2000 Sun 24-Jul-16 19:56:40


Stradbroke Sun 24-Jul-16 19:58:09

Apologies. I read that wrong. Of course she should have told you and you have evey right to be pissed off. She obviously didn't want to miss out which is no excuse.

Lalala82 Sun 24-Jul-16 20:01:26

. Yanbu and she should have had more common sense wrt your child having recently been unwell. It is v difficult when you bring a child home from hospital (we spent 7.5 weeks in with my ds at the start) and this stuff just adds to the stress, I'm sorry and I hope your dd doesn't suffer too badly with the vomit flowers

MinnietheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 20:02:11

I can see why she was tempted to come, and may well have wanted to come and wish us well given recent events. So trying to see the best side of it. But struggling with a bit of crossness too....

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Sun 24-Jul-16 20:02:28

She was totally unreasonable. Who the fuck brings a child who has d and v to the home of a child who has just had surgery. She won't step foot in my house again.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Sun 24-Jul-16 20:02:55

Minnie you are too nice.

MinnietheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 20:05:43

Thanks all, feeling better for my rant. smile

She's currently in bed, hopefully some rest will help.

Sorry to hear of your tough start Lala, hope all was OK in the end.
We also had a week in to start off with, then more for her ops and out patient appointments.

Has at times made me feel quite isolated from other mums and babies, so was keen to have a get together.

mypropertea Sun 24-Jul-16 20:06:08

I would be spitting tacks.

Probably why I don't have lots of friends.

Longlost10 Sun 24-Jul-16 20:09:53

I think you were being a bit unreasonable to have a party, actually, the odds are that some child there would be germ ridden. And you can't possibly know that your DD was missing the other children. She would have been better off keeping it low key,

I hope she is feeling better now.

galaxygirl45 Sun 24-Jul-16 20:12:20

I used to be a playgroup leader, and was horrified by mums literally shoving kids through the door with galloping allsorts and then disappearing. One mum actually shouted at me because I told her that her son couldn't stay with chickenpox (he was in the early stages of it). I tried to gently explain that I hadn't had it myself, and there could be mums in early stages of pregnancy that could be exposed to the virus..........she slammed the door behind her and made an official complaint about me! Some people are just thick about illness and the effects it can have on others. Blunt but true.

hobnobsaremyfave Sun 24-Jul-16 20:12:33

There's always one hmm

TheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 20:13:56

Thanks longlost. She's pretty social, and visibly enjoys the company of other children.
I thought having some friends over now she was well would be good for us both. She had been off antibiotics for 2 weeks and had all clear from consultant. And I'm not going to keep her in a bubble her whole life.

Agree to disagree?

TheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 20:16:24

Must be a nightmare working in a childcare environment, I bet you see all sorts? And catch plenty of bugs too!
Never understand why people feel he need to be rude, I'm astonished at the way some people talk to play leaders in baby groups.

But I guess we are all just people and unrated flawed...

TheM00cher Sun 24-Jul-16 20:16:44


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