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WWYD "friend" ripped off our cleaner.

(54 Posts)
SwearyGodmother Sun 24-Jul-16 10:12:19

A neighbour/acquaintance of mine asked me if I knew any good cleaners around a year ago and I recommended ours (we've had her for 5 years and she's wonderful), passed on telephone numbers and she has worked for him on and off since then.

This week she spoke to me about him. He works for an electrical company and said it was the sale and did she want anything. She asked for 2 hoovers - one for her and one for a friend - and gave him £100. This was 2/3 weeks ago and since then he has cancelled her coming to clean and not responded to her asking about the hoovers. I think even the nicest way to think of this is that the hoovers weren't available and he's embarrassed but it does feel like he's stolen from her. He has turned out to be quite the twat in other ways (indeed this is my second AIBU thread about him) so I'm not feeling particularly charitable towards his behaviours.

I feel a bit responsible as I introduced them, and also know that £100 isn't a small amount of money to her. She said that she will reimburse her friend so she's taking the whole hit herself. I'm probably overthinking.

Would it be weird/unreasonable/patronising to offer to cover some of her losses? Or should I keep out of it.

SanityClause Sun 24-Jul-16 10:14:55

Can you intervene with the acquaintance?

WibblyWobblyJellyHead Sun 24-Jul-16 10:15:25

Can you speak to him? He may have more respect for you as a neighbour than he has for your lovely cleaner. What an arsehole.

mrgrouper Sun 24-Jul-16 10:17:09

I would stay out of it, but keep away from him. It is a scummy thing to rip off someone on a low income.

Mouikey Sun 24-Jul-16 10:18:09

Speak to him if you feel it would help, but you have no duty to cover her costs - she made a decision based on her relationship with him not you. He is not a nice person though 😔

MatildaTheCat Sun 24-Jul-16 10:19:01

I would feel bad about this, too. Hard though it is could you go and knock on his door and ask him directly about this 'misunderstanding'? Even if he fobs you off at least you will have tried.

I don't think you should feel the need to give her the cash, though.

AdelindSchade Sun 24-Jul-16 10:21:41

But he has stolen 100 pounds from her. She should phone the police.

mrgrouper Sun 24-Jul-16 10:23:12

Police will not do anything, they will say civil matter.

Brokenbiscuit Sun 24-Jul-16 10:23:39

You are not responsible. You introduced him as a client for her cleaning business, not as a supplier of electrical goods.

That said, you could offer to speak to him about the hovers?

SwearyGodmother Sun 24-Jul-16 10:25:48

She asked me not to speak to him, so I'll honour that for now

He's a total shitbag, there's no getting away from that now. I said to the cleaner it was stealing and she said it wasn't, but I can't see how it isn't. Maybe in a couple of weeks she might see it differently.

I know I have no duty to cover her costs but £100 won't affect us like it will affect her and I feel like if I can help I should. I wonder whether to introduce a summer bonus on top of the Christmas one to help without being seen as patronising.

I really want nothing to do with the neighbour again though - and fortunately once she has her hoovers or money neither does my saint of a cleaner.

GreenHen Sun 24-Jul-16 10:29:32

I would probably pop round to your neighbour and say that the cleaner has asked if he could drop round the vacuums to your house, so she can pick them up when she next cleans for you (maybe leave your phone number with him so he can call you when they are in and you can get them and enquire about when they are likely to be in).

Probably not the right thing to do but I don't think I could just leave it. I would definitely keep it friendly and assuming that the vacuums were going to arrive soon though.

GreenHen Sun 24-Jul-16 10:30:15

Oh ok - crossed post!

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese Sun 24-Jul-16 10:37:17

Personally I would speak to him. If he ignores you there's no need to tell her and if he listens to you she may get her cash back in which case you can say you simply had to stand up for her. She's probably telling you not to talk to him as she feels embarrassed. She has no reason to.

Branleuse Sun 24-Jul-16 10:38:47

its not your responsibility if she sets up deals with other people, even if you introduced them

JudyCoolibar Sun 24-Jul-16 10:39:09

How about helping her to write a formal letter asking for the money and if necessary helping her pursue the debt through the court?

MargotLovedTom Sun 24-Jul-16 10:41:07

Agree with Cheddar.

mrsfuzzy Sun 24-Jul-16 10:43:05

i would take it through the small claims court, get advice from c.a.b, she should not be out of pocket but then neither should you, it's not your fault she 'brought' stuff from him.

Becky546 Sun 24-Jul-16 10:50:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 24-Jul-16 10:50:25

I wouldn't be able to stop myself from talking to him either, the twat.

MissDallas Sun 24-Jul-16 10:53:56

I know I have no duty to cover her costs but £100 won't affect us like it will affect her and I feel like if I can help I should.

I would do this. No, it's not your responsibility, but I doubt she has much money on a cleaner's wage and it would be a kind thing to do.

TwoFs Sun 24-Jul-16 10:54:04

How about offering to give her the money and if/when he pays her back, she pays it back to you. That way she's not struggling and may feel happier to accept your generous offer?

Your neighbour sounds like a proper shite. I'm glad she's not going to work for him again!

Mycraneisfixed Sun 24-Jul-16 10:55:02

I would intervene on her behalf and contact him in person or by letter if he won't answer the door to you. If you can afford it then I'd say yes reimburse her money. Of course you have no obligation to do so but it is a big deal for her to lose that amount of money and it's very kind if you to think like that.
When was theft not a police matter? He's taken her money under false pretences. Report to the police.

Mycraneisfixed Sun 24-Jul-16 10:57:15

Just read OP again: is your cleaner still working for him?

Thelaundrylady Sun 24-Jul-16 10:58:25

Can you support her in taking him through the small claims court? Has she got a receipt / evidence that she gave him the money ?
Poor lady. He sounds like an awful man

Doinmummy Sun 24-Jul-16 10:58:59

Does he work for a store ? If so I would go in and ask about the hoovers, tell them what has happened and see what they say .

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