Not sure if I am BU here.
I lost our much wanted baby at 13 weeks 8 days ago. Stopped growing at 11 weeks. Me and DH cried. He took a couple of days off work to be with me.
Then I had to go into hospital as it was a missed miscarriage with no bleeding.
I had medical management, passed my baby and saw it, then things went horribly wrong. I lost lots of blood very fast and went into hypovolemic shock and kept losing consciousness. Room filled with 8/9 medics. Got pretty serious. I was rushed down to theatre for an emergency d&c. My HB levels dropped to 4, and I had lost 2 1/2 litres of blood. DH had obviously been crying when I came back up to the ward.
Had to stay in hospital and be put on a drip. Luckily my HB levels came just above the transfusion levels when they retested and I got to go home with iron tablets 2 days later. I'm very anaemic and weak.
Anyway, DH was there and saw all this (happened on a Friday) and he went into work as usual on the Monday. His auntie (a nurse) came over to help me with kids.
But I was really upset he didn't take the day off.
Doctors had told him how serious it had been, and I would need to rest for two weeks.
I'm still traumatised and keep going over the event in my head.
His mum has been up for this last week helping whilst he was at work and I don't know what I'd of done without her.
He has some office politics going in right now-someone in his team is being a nightmare (sounds a horrible work situation I admit) and all he had done this week is whinge about this guy. And I'm so pissed he isn't upset over our loss or nearly losing me yet pouring so much energy into this work shit and being so vocal about it.
I blew my top today and got mad over it all, and it ended in an argument. He got all flippant and told me he'd never talk to me over work issues again then, After I told him I felt let down and angry. I ended up in tears telling him how devastated I am, and he still showed no emotion.
Why isn't he upset? I am very emotional and devastated right now. Hormones are probably all over the place so, Am I being unreasonable? I am so upset, I feel like he can't love me or care being so detached.
He is a great father and dh usually, but this is where I need him to step up :-(
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AIBU?
To be upset over DHs lack of support over traumatic miscarriage
25 replies
Snowflakes1122 · 23/07/2016 18:10
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