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To think 17 and 43 is wrong?

(441 Posts)
Beyinbonnet Sat 23-Jul-16 10:37:25

So a relation has started seeing a 17 year old (16 when started) they are now engaged, living together and she's pregnant!!! AIBU to think this is wrong?! All in the space of 7 month?!

I'm sorry but this just unsettles me!! I know it's not really my business but it's really got to me! Fair enough be seeing each other but FML!!!

SouperSal Sat 23-Jul-16 10:44:48

Nothing illegal there, so it's not really any of your business.

witsender Sat 23-Jul-16 10:46:35

Nothing illegal, but yanbu. It would throw me too.

OneEpisode Sat 23-Jul-16 10:46:59

It's legal in the UK.

Rubberduck2 Sat 23-Jul-16 10:47:11

FML indeed.

It doesn't sit well with me and I'm not a relation!

I don't see how that age gap can work - how is there anything in common!? OH works with a load of 20-24 year olds and it's another world what with social media and their (almost) different language which I do not understand and I'm only 36!

ailith Sat 23-Jul-16 10:47:21

It's a bit odd - not exactly illegal but not exactly usual either.

OohMavis Sat 23-Jul-16 10:48:02

Well it's perfectly legal, but I would question what the 43 year old was thinking, to be honest.

MrsDoylesTeaParty Sat 23-Jul-16 10:48:36

It's gross. Sounds like he's very immature for his age..

OohMavis Sat 23-Jul-16 10:49:06

Also what the 16-17 year old's parents are thinking... Aren't most people that age still in full-time education and living at home?

SockQueen Sat 23-Jul-16 10:49:57

It's not illegal, but it's VERY odd. I can't imagine there's a very even power balance in the relationship. And she probably thinks she's "really mature" - most 17 year olds do - but even so I can't imagine what they'd have in common.

SouperSal Sat 23-Jul-16 10:50:33

At 17 I was living with an older man. At 19 my boyf was twice my age. No issue. There's a biological benefit to this kind of age gap.

2rebecca Sat 23-Jul-16 10:51:14

I wouldn't be happy if the 17 year old was a relation as the power balance is unlikely to be equal there and 17 year olds are much more easily manipulated than 43 year olds.
I'd wonder what she was escaping from leaving home and getting pregnant that young.
Not much you can do now she's pregnant and living with him though.

LagunaBubbles Sat 23-Jul-16 10:52:26

What's her parents got to do with Mavis? OP doesn't say if they approve or not - at 17 they are an adult, I doubt her parents would be able to stop her even if they disapproved!

OneEpisode Sat 23-Jul-16 10:54:13

SouperSal, what's the biological benefit?

OohMavis Sat 23-Jul-16 10:54:48

Oh just me who assumed the 43 year old was the female, then? Probably more likely the other way round though, granted.

The power balance is what I would worry about too.

What biological benefit would that be Sal?

OohMavis Sat 23-Jul-16 10:55:52

No I know, nothing they could do, obviously. I'd just wonder how they'd be feeling.

UnfitMotherr Sat 23-Jul-16 10:56:10

Not that it should make a difference but is the 43 year old the man or the woman?

MrsDeVere Sat 23-Jul-16 10:59:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere Sat 23-Jul-16 11:00:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Sat 23-Jul-16 11:03:59

at 17 they are an adult - I thought 18 is the 'legal' age for an adult? confused.

I would be horrified if I was the parent - to either of the two involved.

It may not be illegal but it is highly inappropriate.

FuckJeffGoldblumMan Sat 23-Jul-16 11:04:08

Another pregnant 17 year old

Something in the water obviously lately grin

SouperSal Sat 23-Jul-16 11:04:41

Females look for steady and dependable men (often more experienced) to have children with (as in evolutionary terms their children will have better chances in life). Men look for women with good eggs, which generally means younger. Hence the stereotype of women being left for younger models.

SouperSal Sat 23-Jul-16 11:06:05

Also at 16 you can legally have sex (so babies may follow), marry (with parental consent) and fight for your country. Sounds pretty adult to me.

OneEpisode Sat 23-Jul-16 11:06:39

In the us, if one is under 18, the older partner has to be within a certain number of years different, varies by state, 2-4 years older I think?

Beyinbonnet Sat 23-Jul-16 11:06:49

Older of the 2 is a bloke! When they first told me I was tipsy and was like oh well it's legal! But the more time goes on the more I just think it's disgusting! Both sets of parents are ok with the relationship and engagement! Don't know what the view of the pregnancy is?! I just can't bring myself to congratulate them on either getting engaged or becoming pregnant! It's a fucking joke in my eyes she's still a kid herself! id go bat shit crazy if my son or daughter walked in with a "kid" as a partner!!

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