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to be upset by this woman's attitude on a plane

(118 Posts)
itsgoodtobehome Fri 22-Jul-16 20:41:06

We flew home from holiday today. It was just me and DS4 on the flight as DH is doing the long drive back tomorrow with all our stuff. We were sat across the aisle from a family of 3 - husband and wife and small baby (I guess about 3 months). When we landed, everyone did the usual standing up to get their stuff out of the lockers. I wasn't in any particular rush, as we had no luggage with us, but of course DS being 4, has to get going, and manages to get himself out into the aisle. The family opposite are getting their stuff together, and the husband then sets off down the aisle. My DS spots the gap/opportunity and goes marching off after him. This means I have to jump up in order to go after him. At this point, the wife who is just holding the baby, but nothing else, says 'can you let me go with my husband'. I look down the aisle to weigh up the situation - DS is now practically at the door, and I'm concerned about him going further and heading off down the steps. So I make a judgement that I need to get to him and say 'sorry - I need to go with my little boy'. At this point, she tuts loudly, rolls her eyes and then shouts down to husband - 'can you wait as this woman won't let me in front of her'.

I was so annoyed. I wasn't trying to get ahead of her - I couldn't care less whether I was the last one off the plane. But I needed to catch up with my DS, and her 3 month old wasn't going to be in any danger by her being separated from her husband for 5 seconds. Once she was reunited with her husband, she was then clearly bitching to him about me. I am irrationally upset about this incident, and I think it's because it felt like she was saying her child was more important than mine, even though hers had no chance of running off anywhere, whereas mine did. Plus she was travelling with her husband, while I was managing it on my own with a 4yo.

AIBU, or was she?

Champagneformyrealfriends Fri 22-Jul-16 20:43:02

I think she was. Don't dwell on it-she'll understand when her baby is toddling.

MollyTwo Fri 22-Jul-16 20:43:15

Yanbu, but didn't you see your ds undo his belt buckle and run off? Why didn't you stop him.

ophiotaurus Fri 22-Jul-16 20:45:14

She was rude but you should have made sure your child didn't run off without you.

underneaththeash Fri 22-Jul-16 20:45:23

I'm on the fence, I would have got my child(ren) to wait for me or called them back if they'd gone ahead. its just easier if families can go together.

MozzchopsThirty Fri 22-Jul-16 20:46:57

You are both ridiculous, why does ds 4 'have' to be up and away? Can't you control him or get him to sit & wait?
What's going to happen to him if I gets to the door without you??

She was just as bad having to be next to her husband

I just don't understand either issue really

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Fri 22-Jul-16 20:47:01

No point dwelling on it, you'll most likely never see her again, it's just one of those things. Rehashing it over and over won't change it.

Neither of you were being unreasonable, you both had your own priorities.

DanniiMinogue Fri 22-Jul-16 20:47:36

I'm sorry but I think you're making a big deal out of something that was really quite insignificant. Please don't let it spoil your holiday - just move on.

itsgoodtobehome Fri 22-Jul-16 20:47:49

Hi molly - the seatbelt signs were off so he had come to sit on my knee. Then just jumped off into the aisle. It wasn't an issue at first as no-one was moving so he was just stood there. Then he just took off when a space appeared!!

camelfinger Fri 22-Jul-16 20:48:13

YANBU. Plane travel seems to send people slightly crazy. I don't think she was implying that her child was more important though, she's just a bit precious and doesn't seem to have much empathy.

pinkyredrose Fri 22-Jul-16 20:48:15

I don't think she was BU. YABU for allowing your 4yo to charge off without you.

Lunar1 Fri 22-Jul-16 20:48:26

I'm a bit on the fence. Obviously you needed to go when your ds did, but it's honestly your responsibility to keep a proper hold of his hand on a plane. It might have been quite awkward for her to get out the way with such a young baby.

Gizlotsmum Fri 22-Jul-16 20:48:37

Not sure either of you were unreasonable. Maybe she hated flying? Maybe she is anxious, maybe she just didn't think about your child? Maybe she shouldn't have been so rude.. Personally my 4 yr old would have been told to wait...( whether he would or not is another matter) I would have apologised like you did and maybe waited out of the way once I had caught up with my son

OhMyWord16 Fri 22-Jul-16 20:48:40

She was ignorant.
Don't waste any more time thinking about the silly cow.

DanniiMinogue Fri 22-Jul-16 20:49:08

*spoil your memories of your holiday

FindoGask Fri 22-Jul-16 20:58:50

she was being a dick but try not to give her any more headspace.

rookiemere Fri 22-Jul-16 21:00:31

Deplaning is a stressful time. People including small DCs and babies have been cooped up in a confined place with poor air for long periods of time.

You didn't have a lot of choice, you had to go after your DC, but equally I can see that this DM might be a bit annoyed - perhaps more at her DH launching off and leaving her to sort out the baby rather than at yourself.

I can see me shouting something like this at DH if I were in the same situation, not so much because I was put out by someone blocking my space to get out, but more because he'd have been off his merry way leaving me to sort out everything else.

So I'd say its 50/50 and forget about it.

MadamDeathstare Fri 22-Jul-16 21:03:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LockedOutOfMN Fri 22-Jul-16 21:03:50

I act like your DS on a plane; can't wait to get out and would gladly run down the aisle if I could.

The woman was being unreasonable and after your explanation should have not called the comment to her husband. Wife and husband separated temporarily by a few metres is not a problem; parent and 4 year old separated with one of them exiting a plane is, (potentially).

NavyandWhite Fri 22-Jul-16 21:07:21

Well her husband was a bit of a twat for just getting up and getting off the plane. She sounds like a wet lettuce.

OP I would have shouted my Ds back I think or maybe I would have done what you did. Hard to say.

But let it go. The world is full of cunts.

Littleoakhorn Fri 22-Jul-16 21:09:29

Of course you weren't being unreasonable. You needed to stay with your Ds and she was going to be delayed by, oh, milliseconds to let you do that. Planes make people a bit crazy, so just forget about her.

CointreauVersial Fri 22-Jul-16 21:09:53

Don't give it another thought. You'll never see her again.

But you should have controlled your 4yo so he didn't race off without you.

itsgoodtobehome Fri 22-Jul-16 21:10:55

Thank you for your comments. I really do just need to forget about it. madamdeathstar - I really did feel saying to her: I hope you remember this when your little darling is 4!!

lockedout - you have summarised the situation perfectly.

For those saying he shouldn't have run off - yes that is the perfect scenario, but these things happen. He was as good as gold on the entire flight and he was just keen to get going and figured it was his turn.

Anyway, I'm going to stop dwelling on it now, and relax with my holiday memories!!

bumsexatthebingo Fri 22-Jul-16 21:10:57

Why didn't you call your ds back? It's not a big deal really.

VashtaNerada Fri 22-Jul-16 21:11:51

She was BU and I'd be pissed off too. But I also go a bit psycho on planes and have been known to be utterly unreasonable to strangers in the past blush

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