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to send all dc to bed at the same time?

(26 Posts)
RosesAreRedVioletsAreBlue123 Fri 22-Jul-16 15:04:26

i have 3 dss and they all go to bed at 7:30. they are 5, 8 and 11... they seem to just be used to it. dm came over to see older ds on his birthday for her to be shocked he is in bed confused they share a room btw. thoughts?

19lottie82 Fri 22-Jul-16 15:23:31

730 is really early for an 11 year old! They need nowhere near the amount of sleep a 5 year old does. YABU

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 22-Jul-16 15:25:19

Could the older one read or listen to a story until he's tired?

SemiNormal Fri 22-Jul-16 15:28:31

I would stick with 730 for the younger 2, then send the older one up at 830 but allow them to read/draw/whatever quietly until 9pm (930pm on weekends). During the summer months I was out playing until about 10pm at 11yrs old (there was a big group of us so safety wasn't an issue)

SaturdaySurprise Fri 22-Jul-16 15:35:42

YABU. An 11 year old doesn't need that much sleep.

DH and his brother had to go to bed at 8pm until they were about 14. It was ridiculous and they didn't actually go to sleep for two hours. I think PIL just liked the living room to themselves in the evenings. It was pretty selfish really.

FeckinCrutches Fri 22-Jul-16 15:36:17

He was in bed at 7.30 on his birthday? It seems unfair on him to go to bed at the same time as 5 year old.

insan1tyscartching Fri 22-Jul-16 15:38:21

7.30pm isn't fair on the 11 year old hmm won't he be in secondary school come September? When is he going to get time to relax after homework, bag packing, dinner and shower?
It's important that he has the chance to play the sort of games, watch the sort of TV as his peers so that they have something in common and something to talk about IME. He'll be ridiculed if it ever gets out his bedtime is 7.30. between 9 and 9.30 is typical amongst dd's friends. Dd goes up at 10pm as she's a night owl tbh.

PatriciaHolm Fri 22-Jul-16 15:41:25

DD would be awake reading for about 2 hours if she had to go to bed at 7.30! Way too early assuming he only needs to be up about 7ish.

RosesAreRedVioletsAreBlue123 Fri 22-Jul-16 15:42:02

He gets up at 8, but sleeps through... He goes to sleep at that time...

nickEcave Fri 22-Jul-16 15:43:34

7.30 is very early for an 11 year old but it can be hard to differentiate bed times when they share a room. My DDs are 6 and 9 and go to bed at the same time around 8.30-9 but the older one can read in bed until 9.30.

rosiecam Fri 22-Jul-16 15:43:53

YABU. Will you still be sending them all to bed at the same time when they are 11, 14 and 17?

Muchtoomuchtodo Fri 22-Jul-16 15:45:47

My 10.5 year old will happily go to bed (and to sleep) at 7.30pm if he's not got anything on. He sleeps through until at least 7am. He can cope with staying up later to go clubs but he likes his sleep!
If your oldest can go to bed a bit later without waking the others then it would be a good idea to let them stay up a bit.

rosiecam Fri 22-Jul-16 15:46:41

He gets up at 8, but sleeps through... He goes to sleep at that time...

Just read this. 12.5 hours sleep every night? Are you sure he's not texting friends/playing games on his phone some of that time?

If so, don't expect it to last much longer. It will change within the next year or two. I'd suggest letting him stay up longer as soon as he asks.

pottymummy Fri 22-Jul-16 15:46:44

Honestly you know your own kids, and also it depends what time everyone rises, but mine are 6 and 9 and are supposed to be in bed at 8pm and 8.30pm (its more like 8.30pm and 9pm) They both get a decent night sleep on this. 10 hours is about right from what I remember (give or take an hour)

Artandco Fri 22-Jul-16 15:47:55

That's very early for all apart from maybe 5 year old

5 and 6 year old here, they do go to bed at the same time, but at 9pm.

How will your 11 year old have time to get home from school, play, eat, homework, relax, etc and in bed by 7.30pm once he is at secondary?

I would say:
7.30pm -5 year old
8.30pm -8 year old
9.30pm -11year old

I took would be very surprised an 11 year old was already in bed at 7.30 pm on his birthday!

Artandco Fri 22-Jul-16 15:48:54

Also, I would be worried he is ill if he really does need 12 1/2 hours sleep every night. Does he seem ill at all?

Artandco Fri 22-Jul-16 15:50:36

From the NHS, at those ages sleep guidelines

5year old -11 hours
8 year old -10 hrs 15 mins
11 year old - 9 hrs 30 mins

GALLEGITA Fri 22-Jul-16 15:54:32

i would probably be concerned with the fact that he can sleep for so long every night and worry he is anaemic or sleep apnoea or something.

CMOTDibbler Fri 22-Jul-16 15:55:46

It entirely depends on the child - if your 11 year old is going to sleep then and waking up at 8, then it sounds like he needs the sleep.
My 10 year old needs to be in bed at between 7.30 and 8 - you can really see the difference in him if he's not getting enough sleep, and will be up a between 7 and 7.30

AndNowItsSeven Fri 22-Jul-16 16:00:46

7.30 is early for an 11 year old but 9.30 is equally too late. 8.15 is my dd bed time she is 12 in the Autumn unless she is at Guides etc.

AndNowItsSeven Fri 22-Jul-16 16:02:07

Art those are minumum guidelines at it still doesn't mean it's ok to put pre schoolers to be after 9.

motherinferior Fri 22-Jul-16 16:03:47

He's going to be mortified if his secondary school mates know he's packed off at the same time as a toddler...

redhat Fri 22-Jul-16 16:04:03

My 11 year old has only just (last week) had his bedtime shifted. Previously he was going up at 7.30 (although he will then get ready for bed and have a story before then reading to himself and so lights were not out until 8.30 anyway.)

We have shifted it to a later time in readiness for senior school.

paxillin Fri 22-Jul-16 16:04:54

I can see the temptation, they are gone and you have peace, but it is really unfair. He is presumably expected to behave more maturely than the other 2, so should be treated as such, too.

7:30 is early at 5 for an 8 o'clock wake up time, super early at 8 and ridiculously early at 11. Check he is well if he needs that much sleep.

Artandco Fri 22-Jul-16 16:08:47

And - why ever not? Why does it matter if a 2 year old goes to bed at 7pm or 11pm? As long as they get enough sleep it makes no difference. 7pm bed with 5.30am wake, would be far less sleep than a toddler sleeping 11pm-9am, plus a 3 hour afternoon siesta

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