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Child minder wwyd

(10 Posts)
Onlyonce Thu 21-Jul-16 23:02:42

I work Ft and my DD spends two days at a cm and three days at nursery. She is 2.5. just lately my Dp and I have had the feeling dd isn't as happy with the cm as she is at nursery. Hard to pinpoint but these are a couple of examples. I normally tell her where we are going each day and if it isn't a cm day and I say 'we are going to nursery today she will say something like 'not going to cm?' so I tell her not today. My Dp asked her what she liked about nursery and she said seeing her friends. When asked about the cm she just said no. We asked her a few questions but in the end we left it for a bit as we didn't want to confuse her by going over it all too much at once. The only thing we have found out since, is that she said cm had shouted at her and put her on the naughty step and she had cried. So question is do I discuss this with the cm? Or simply take steps to make other arrangements for child care on the basis that something perhaps isn't quite right? Part of me wants to find another cm but I am wondering what others think

Aeroflotgirl Thu 21-Jul-16 23:10:57

Mabey you might want to discuss this with the cm, oh dd told me she was on the naughty step, what was that for kind of thing. But if your dd is not happy with the cm, I would move her.

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose Thu 21-Jul-16 23:18:04

I would see if you can get to the bottom of it by talking to the cm.

It may just be that your dd has a really good group of friends at nursery and loves being there with them. Does she have good friends at the cm?

Maybe she's better in a bigger setting? Could you increase nursery to full time? Or have cm doing wraparound care for 2 days while she goes to nursery maybe preschool hours?

Onlyonce Thu 21-Jul-16 23:25:29

If it turns out she really isn't happy or something has happened then I will move her. I just wish she could express it to me if that makes sense. Think I will ring the cm tomorrow or speak to her on dds next day with her. I can't bear the idea of her being unhappy but I don't want to unsettle her routine if there really isn't anything wrong.

BackforGood Thu 21-Jul-16 23:32:43

Has she always had this arrangement ? Or is the concept of being part of a bigger group of children still a bit novel for her?

Might it be that it's not that there is any particular issue at the CMs, so much as she's just really getting to an age where she is learning to play and mix with other children ?

Onlyonce Thu 21-Jul-16 23:39:14

Same arrangement since she was ten months old. Cm looks after kids of different ages.

Willow2016 Thu 21-Jul-16 23:40:17

You need to speak to your cm to ask what actually happened first. Maybe your child was shouted at, maybe the cm just told her firmly to stop doing something and she didnt and was put on the step for a bit of time out. Not saying your child is wrong but sometimes 'shouting' for little kids is different from how adults class it.

The key to any childcare is communication and its really not fair to the cm to prejudge her without her side of the story.

Of course you are free to take your child out at any time with the required notice but I would rather parents spoke to me first about any problems than just take the child out without warning. Sometimes its something that can easily be rectified.

Maybe your child does do better in a bigger setting, it happens, just as some kids are better in a more homely setting, its nobodys fault. But speak to your cm first, without accusing her, and discuss what happened, then decide what to do.

Onlyonce Thu 21-Jul-16 23:40:47

It just feels like something isn't right. She isnt clingy when I drop her off though. Shes always happy when I collect her.

Onlyonce Thu 21-Jul-16 23:43:11

Willow, I totally understand what you are saying in that dds perspective on it might be different. It's just when we ask her gently about it the answers can be mixed up or contradictory which makes it difficult to gauge how she feels

Dogsmom Thu 21-Jul-16 23:46:26

I'd go with my gut and swap cm, I went through the same thing with dd1, she started going to the cm aged 10 months and never settled, she'd cry when I left and on the days she didn't go I'd ask her about it and her whole demeanor changed and she'd get clearly upset.

As she was my first I had no experience and thought it was normal so I carried on taking her for the next 8 months, I don't want to go into details on a public forum but it turned out there were serious issues with the cm and a lot of things going on that shouldn't have been, as soon as I found out I took her out that day.

I've now got a great cm and the difference in dd1 is incredible, it took her a bit to settle after her bad experience but she now asks to go on the days in between. In hindsight I wish I'd gone with my instinct and taken her out, there was nothing to lose in swapping her just in case.

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